


The Girl of My Dreams

by AndyWBlackstorn



Series: Through Chrissie's eyes (alternative universe) [8]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Through Chrissie's eyes, Through Chrissie's eyes universe, brian's pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-01-15 00:33:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 44
Words: 74,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18487636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndyWBlackstorn/pseuds/AndyWBlackstorn
Summary: A young man becomes extremely divided as he begins to face the challenges of adulthood. As much as he thought he would have to face all this alone, he encounters the impossible in finding the girl of his dreams. (Or Brian narrating how his love for his wife was built, alternative point of view of the story Through Chrissie's Eyes).





	1. Classes and Gigs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is set primarily as a work of fiction, inspired by the life and work of the band Queen and its members, stories and facts that were part of their trajectory, as well as the adapted version featured in the movie "Bohemian Rhapsody."
> 
> "The Girl of My Dreams" are based upon "Through Chrissie's eyes" which is fundamentally based on the version of the film and its fictional version of the members of Queen, structuring mainly in the narrative line of the film.
> 
> It is understood that a work of fiction grants some creative freedoms, and is using poetic license, and exploring hypothetical situations that I decided to modify real facts for the story, setting it up as an alternative universe.
> 
> However, despite the changes, it is understood that the characters remain faithful to what has already been established within their personalities, changing some aspects and events. Still, it is worth mentioning that I maintain respect for events that have happened to Queen members in real life, and it is up to readers to view real life as something quite different from this work of fiction. Once again I point out, the characters' version of the story is fictional, not being completely related to the actual people represented.

I was finishing checking my apartment before leaving for another day at Imperial College. It was a simple place, but after two years living there, I now had enough emotional attachment to call it home, even though I thought there was still something left to call home.

I locked the front door and left to count the coins for the bus in the corridor of the building. If the money didn't pay for the ticket, I would have to use my coin/pallet to complete the amount, which wasn't good, since we had a show at night. But before I was a guitarist, I was still a Physics student, so I hastened my steps not to be late.

As I walked to the bus stop, my head kept thinking. I thought about what I'd learn in college that morning, the night show, what Tim and Roger were doing.

Tim, I knew that he was studying, as strictly as I was, modesty aside, now Roger ... Or he was sleeping in class out of sheer boredom, or flirting with some girl, I didn't know what could be worse.

When I got to the bus stop, I corrected my last thought, we had met Jo a few weeks ago. The girl was enthusiastic, but gentle, always in a good mood, I could deduce that because of the little that we were with her. She certainly deserved someone better than Roger.

I had a hard time with him, but it was his weakness, he never resisted playing charm on any girl he knew. In spite of this, and mocking me a lot for various reasons (my height, my hair, my way of playing, my dedication to studies, the fact that I am single, and so on ...), I had sympathized with his face from the day he auditioned for our band.

When I got on the bus, thanking God my coins were enough, I remembered when Tim and I had the idea of forming a band when we came to college in London. And we just needed a drummer, who turned out to be Roger Taylor.

He had just arrived from Truro, Cornwall, when I met him. In spite of all the excitement and coolness, he was half-apprehensive to live in a place much larger than the inner town he lived in. I felt exactly like that when I arrived from Hampton, which was why I understood him, and offered to be his friend. To the point that I felt very comfortable with him, except when he came up with his irremediable behavior.

I left the memories of the past behind to focus on the present, I had arrived at the campus of Imperial College and without wasting more time, I went straight to my classroom. We had simpler classes, with calculation exercises and then more complex classes with practical experiences.

I took advantage of the break from classes to go to the library, I was tempted between a book about astrophysics and the copy of "From Earth to the Moon". I ended up with the story of Julio Verne, but I took the astrophysics book home. I'd take the time to read it. If all went well, when I finished physics, I would study Astrophysics.

And it was just reading this book that I spent the rest of the day, and at home, I made some notes of what I found interesting. I knew it had nothing to do with my current course, but I couldn't pass up that opportunity. If I didn't write it down, I'd probably forget some important part.

When I got tired of reading, I turned on the TV and was glad that Doctor Who was still going through. I watched, as much as Tim and Roger sometimes teased me about it, after all, it was a show made for children. However fictitious it was, its premise always made me curious and excited, it was interesting to see the different possibilities that the trips of the Doctor and his companions provided to them. Sometimes I even wondered if one day it would be possible, just like in the show, to explore other worlds. It might sound silly to a lot of people, but to me it was a very interesting possibility. It was one of the few things I didn't talk to my friends about, it was something they didn't understand, and I didn't blame them for it. As much as we were friends, me, Tim and Roger were different people and everything was fine, nonetheless.

By 8:30 pm I began to pack up for the show. Earlier this week, Roger had warned that we had gotten one more night to play at Maria Assumpta, the college where Jo studied. Knowing this, I was calmer since playing in a place I had played before help to reduce half of nervousness. Without looking at me a lot in the mirror, I went to check my guitar.

I played a few chords on my Red Special, watching to see if it wasn't out of tune. I knew I would have to check again before the show, but even so, rather check twice, ensuring that it wouldn't get out of tune when I was playing. Then I kept back, hoping that the guys came to get me.

I heard the unmistakable horn of Roger's van, and hurried as he was very impatient.

"Hey, Brian" Tim was the first to greet me.

"Hi Tim" said, not very confident, but not totally sad.

"Are you all right, Bri?" Roger said in his usual tone, excited "cheer up a little man, this way you'll never be able to get a girlfriend."

"Oh man ... we barely saw each other and you already will start with this topic?" I finished irritating myself.

"Okay, I won't talk any more, if I let you angry, you don't play right and I fumble the show for three of us "Roger ended up regretting the joke."

It irritated me a lot because Roger thinks I should be a cheap womanizer as he. He and I saw a relationship in a very different way. While Rog took advantage of his charm (which really could fool a lot of girls), getting all girls he could, I still dreamed of the girl of my dreams. Once I tried to talk to him about it, but he didn't get it, so I gave up.

I knew quite well that I was a different and peculiar guy, not to say weird in the opinion of some, and maybe it would be rare to find a girl like me, that understands exactly how I was, that wouldno' require me to change my features just to please her, that like me the way I was ... sometimes found it impossible to find her. When I rambled a lot about it, I tried to focus back on shows and in my classes. As for that perfect girl ... I left her in my dreams again.


	2. Jo's Friend

It took about 45 minutes for us to reach Maria Assumpta, which was in a half-isolated area of London, far from where we lived and practically from civilization, but whether I wanted to or not, I liked to perform there. Without further ado, we parked the van inside the campus, in the place closest to the auditorium, and as much as possible to park the van. The three of us unpacked the instruments and carried them into the auditorium, ready to assemble everything and leave it in its proper place. Tim and I were already doing this, when Roger was making an unexplained slip.

"Where do you think you're going, man? You gotta help us finish this!" I scolded him, tired of his usual laziness and sloppiness.

"Chill out, Brian, I'm just going to see Jo, I promise, I'll be right back." He raised his hands defensively.

"Well, if that's just it I forgive you, just try not to be too long." Tim was patient as usual.

"Oh, besides, she's going to introduce me to a friend of hers I wanted to meet because Jo talks too much about her, I want to see if she's going to come to the show," Roger went on to explain.

"Okay, then hurry up." Tim shrugged as Roger left and I continued to help him.

A while later, Roger came back and by a miracle managed to fulfill his promise to be back on time and not leave all the heavy work just for us. I was so focused that I didn't even see Jo coming close to us.

"Hi Brian, hi Tim!" she said in her usual good mood. "Good to see you again, I missed you too."

"Seriously?" I was a bit surprised, since sometimes I thought that no one but my band mates cared about my company.

"But of course, besides you guys being cool, you're a great band," she smiled, which made me smile back.

"I hope, Jo, we can be that good tonight, just like you said," Tim said to her.

"Okay, then, boys! I'll see you later. "Jo nodded as she spoke and then went to sit in her seat.

I think I followed with my eyes where she would have sat in the automatic, but I saw her talking to a girl. From the distance I was from them, I couldn't see her face clearly. Her long brown hair fell in front of her, hiding most of her face. I figured she could only be Jo's friend.

I took advantage of the little time I had before the show, so I sat down to fine-tune the Red Special which, to my luck, was just a bit out of tune, which was common after it was transported. So Tim and Roger positioned themselves, I was ready too, and then we started the show. Glancing at the audience at times, I realized that Jo had left her friend back there to be closer to us. Probably to be close to Roger, automatically, I thought it was unfair for her to do this to her friend because of her boyfriend, but I knew that Jo hadn't done it on purpose, she was a good person.

It was then that the show ended and, as always, we waited a bit before disassembling everything. At that time, I saw Jo go to her friend, and in the midst of the buzz of people leaving the place, I didn't understand the name by which she had called her.

Soon they were talking to us, and I watched her for a moment, since she was the group's newcomer. I was extremely excited about the show, praising and saying that we were one of the favorite college bands, which made me very happy. She was so excited with us, in a way that I dare to say, I had never seen before, that I wanted to ask a lot of questions to her, about what I liked the most, about what we could improve, but I restrained myself. The way she was when Jo was talking to her before the show, it was clearly that she was very shy, and she was so comfortable with us, that I didn't want her to be quiet if I said more. For now, I was glad to hear her.

Finally, Tim asked the question I was already wanting to ask, what was her name.

"Chrissie," she said softly, looking down, then she looked back at us, explaining that she was Jo's friend and roommate.

"Nice to meet you," I said at once, feeling that it was true.

The conversation was rudely cut off by Roger announcing that he was hungry, which made me roll my eyes, but in the end, we were all really hungry. As long as they decided where we were going, I saw Chrissie a little reluctant to come with us, I guess I just figured it out, but I understood her. It wasn't bad, she just felt more comfortable at home.

After we found out that she preferred to sleep early as I did (which made me a little content and annoyed by the jokes at the same time), we finally went to the place Jo had suggested. Knowing that Chrissie was coming with us, I only cared to keep her at ease.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm back with more stories for the Through Chrissie's eyes universe. Like I said before, I never expected it to expand so much, but here I am, writing again. For the other stories, I'm organizing my week so I can post other stories too, the ones you guys are requesting so much. So thank you once again for reading it.


	3. Common Interests

We walked quietly until we got to the restaurant Jo knew, I was still a bit embarrassed by Chrissie's presence. Not that I was ashamed of her, yet again, I was thinking that if I tried to bring up a subject she would be even more self-conscious. So I decided to distract myself just by looking at the sky. The good part about being in a relatively isolated place was that there wasn't much interference from civilization to get in the way of seeing the stars, and the sky was really beautiful that night.

Roger, as usual, teased me a little and I had to reply, sounding grumpy, but then I forgot his bland jokes. We sat down to wait for the pizza to arrive and then I saw Chrissie trying to start a conversation. I wasn't sure why, but I was happy about it. And I was even happier with your questions. She wanted to know about our songs.

"Um ..." I hesitated, since I didn't want to embarrass her, just enjoying that she was comfortable "which one did you like the most?"

She went on to describe "Doing All Right," in the same excitement that she talked to us at the end of the show, and more and more I was delighted that she liked our music so much. So, it felt good to explain to her my inspiration for this song, my busy and agitated life, divided between the band and the studies. It was after that that our friends came to realize that we had so much in common. And I did, too.

But they took the opportunity to mock us.

"Don't pay attention to them Chrissie, they're always like this." I felt the need to defend her, even disappointed with the rest of the class.

After talking, I saw her looking at me, some deep thought passing in her head, I was almost sure of that, I felt a glimmer of pity for my situation. Seriously, was she pitying me for being mocked? That was ... admirable, a relief to know that ... perhaps, I had an ally.

"How long has you been played guitar?" she had the courage to ask, still a little shy.

I answered with some fear in the beginning that I played since I was seven years old, but when I saw I was already adding more to the story, telling about my father's musical influence until we got to the subject of the Red Special.

When I told Tim and Roger that I had made my guitar with my father, they found it hard to believe, but then watching my beloved instrument with a little more attention, they saw that I was telling the truth, and they weren't interested in the story anymore.

Now Chrissie, whom I had known only a few hours ago, was genuinely interested in learning more about Red Special, something I loved to tell. I could hardly deal with that, I just got ready to tell more details when we were interrupted by dinner.

We then ate, and whether I wanted to or not, I lost some hope in Chrissie's interest in my guitar, but that was when she surprised me.

"If you don't mind, Brian," she looked at me sheepishly, "you were going to tell me about your guitar. Where did you buy it?"

Gradually, with fear again, I was telling the whole story, as my father and I gathered what we had at home and built the Red Special. She was impressed, excited, smiling ... and this reaction left me ... happy. Not because I managed to impress her, but she wasn't so shy finally , she was feeling good. without knowing why, I was happy for her ...

Roger and Jo implying with one another brought me back to the present, which also bothered Chrissie, which made me smile for her trying to scold them in her way. Some time later, we were collecting the money to pay the bill and when Chrissie offered to help pay, I felt it would be unfair on her part.

"You don't need Chrissie," I told her gently, "you're our guests."

She was a bit embarrassed, but understood my kindness and thanked me for it. Roger and Tim argued a bit because the second already wanted to leave, which made him leave us alone with the sappy couple. Throughout the dinner, Jo and Roger wouldn't let go of each other at all. I was already impatient and ungrateful for all this public display of affection. I understood they liked each other, but they didn't have to rub it in our faces. I stood up, creating the courage to leave, but I was worried about Chrissie. She was shy, she'd just met me, would she be alone with me? Speacially me ... so clumsy, and also if I didn't know what to say to her ... well, it would be worse if I left her alone there.

"Do you want to go outside?" I ventured.

"Yeah ..." she replied talking with the corner of her mouth tight, nodding several times.

I was glad she accepted, letting her out first, then silently we leaned into the van. I tried to think of what to do next, but my eyes went automatically to the sky. I didn't want to force Chrissie to talk if she didn't want to. I waited for her to say something, if we'd been silent for a longer time, I was thinking of something we could talk about.

"I know I'm sounding very repetitive but ..." she paused, as if creating the courage "I really wanted to know more about ... You know, how you did your guitar."

"Ah I don't bother about the questions" I smile again at her interest "I like to talk about the Red Special and almost nobody asks about it ..."

"Red Special? Did you name it?" she asked, looking curious.

"Don't you think I'm weird giving a name to an instrument?" I was afraid of her opinion, maybe I shouldn't say my guitar had a name, but she was asking and I didn't think it right to lie or omit any fact.

"No, not at all," she said, and I was completely relieved. "It shows that it is ... really special. Sorry for the pun."

"I forgive you" I managed to laugh, glad that she had made an unintentional little joke. "And thank you for not think me weird."

"No, I don't think so." Chrissie's voice was full of understanding. "I have to thank you for not finding me weird."

"You're welcome" I understood her, she was like me in that aspect, too. "Now I understand why Jo and Roger get along so well together."

"Oh, I know too," Chrissie said, rather amusedly, "they both mock us!"

We ended up laughing together, a feeling that I had no sense with no one else passed through my heart, I didn't know how to react to that, so I looked at the sky as an old defense.

"You can see the sky better by the side of the road," Chrissie said, watching me.

"Oh, sure," I agreed with her, and I explained myself a bit more, "I often get distracted by such a sky."

"Did you want to be an astronaut when you were a child?" she asked, and I smiled at her deduction.

"Well, not exactly." I nodded, smiling, glad we were continuing our conversation. "I study math, and physics, until I could be but, only understanding about the stars here on Earth would be good."

"Well, if you can find the time to be a guitarist and a college student, maybe you can continue studying for that too," she advised me, which made me slightly impressed.

God, she thought it was interesting what I thought was so fascinating. Just because she said that, I felt grateful.

"Who knows someday," I sighed, looking back at the sky, remembering my dreams, and smiled at her, grateful for her sympathy.

"As in my interpretation of" Doing All Right, "she added, and I was even happier, she had associated music and astrophysics, my two passions. How could she be so smart as to think so like that?

"Yeah ..." I said to her, slightly impressed.

I watched her for another moment. Suddenly a thought came to my head: "Where could a girl like Chrissie be all this time to me just meet her now?"


	4. Insistent Thought

I ended up having to drive when we got back to the girls' college, and Chrissie ended up sitting next to me and getting all the way by my side, but I couldn't say anything. I didn't know exactly why I was suddenly so speechless, which was ironic, considering that we were talking not so long ago. I just focused on driving, and I was able to recognize in myself a certain gratitude that she was so close to me, even if we were silent.

When we arrived, Chrissie hesitated to get out of the van, I realized she waited a little bit, and again, I felt the embarrassment of the silence between us. I stared at the steering wheel, even tapping my fingers on it, not knowing what to do.

"Thank you for everything" she saved us from the silence "it was really cool tonight, because of the show and the pizza. I just wanted to say goodbye to Tim. Tell him I said goodbye."

"Yes, I will" I was happy to be able to answer and because she cared about my friend "I thank you for your questions, it was really nice to be able to talk to you about those things that I like ..."

"Oh, I miss it too," she said, and her sentence made my heart beat faster, I felt sorry for her feeling alone, for not having anyone to share what she liked "um ... you know when they will perform here again?"

"I don't know, it depends on the University's agenda," I said, trying to deal with the concern with her that had come over me.

"Well if you can, and it's not too much of a problem for you, you can let me know when it's going to be the next show, or near here, I really wanted to see you again." She made that request, calm but anxious, I could feel it.

"That's ... wow, it's very considerate of you." I let my excitement lighten a little, all the joy I felt for her liking the band.

It only made my desire to keep talking to her grow. But it was too late for that, as much as I and Chrissie had our appointments for the next day and all I didn't want to make her get late. In that instant, I took a sudden courage that I didn't even know I had.

"Look, Jo's number that Roger has is the same as you use, isn't it?" I asked and she confirmed "So I'll call you and let you know when we'll be here, okay?"

"Okay, I agree." She agreed to my idea and I couldn't contain my smile. "I guess I have to go now."

"Yeah, me too." My smile subsided a little, but I was still there, I understood her tiredness. "Good night, Chrissie."

"Good night," she said, and in that small moment I concentrated on her eyes, blue, expressive, round, sweet...

I watched her walk into the building and then sighed. That good night had been more painful than I had expected. I realized that I couldn't wait to see her again. I blinked, reminding myself that I still had to go home. I waited for Roger to say good-bye to Jo, and then we changed places, he left me at home, and then he assured me that he would wake Tim when he left him at his apartment.

I entered the house, relieved to find everything I had left, that familiar environment was always comforting to me. But as calm as it was, my heart was still racing, and I was trying to find the exact reason for this reaction.

I sat on the couch, staring at the TV off, part of me scolded myself, I should have been sleeping an hour ago, but I couldn't, my mind wouldn't shut down. Taking a deep breath, I lay there on the couch, trying to put my thoughts in place. The only thing in my head was Chrissie's face, a glimpse of her smile, her enthusiastic voice praising us, her expression intent on hearing me speak. She listened to me not for politeness (finding me a boring guy in the back), no, I felt she was really interested in what I was saying. I was about to decide what it was all about, but I still had doubts.

I needed to get to know her a little better, I needed her to tell me more of her, but for now, the little I knew of Chrissie was able to start shaking my structures. Then doubts struck again. No, it wasn't possible. I felt something I had never felt before, I started to be afraid, but just thinking about talking to her again, the fear was gone. I really needed to go to sleep, there were so many emotions for one night alone.

It was then that the tiredness helped me, making me fall asleep, and my last memory before bed was my conversation with Chrissie as we watched the stars. The next morning, I woke up as usual, getting ready for class, collecting the bus money, paying attention to the teachers, or at least trying.

Modesty aside, it was very difficult for me to get distracted in class, I was always focused and interested, unless it was a very tedious class, but today ... every moment of the day that passed I thought I had to talk to Chrissie again. Using the rational part of my mind, I ended up calling Roger, even though it might be a bad idea, but only he had the phone number the girls used, so it was worth taking the risk.

So after class, as soon as I got home, I literally ran to the phone. Calling Taylor would be less risky, because personally he would realize more how nervous I was, and would surely tease me, which would make me miss the rare courage I was having at the moment.

"Hey Roger, it's me," I tried to speak, as I always said, "I need a favor."

"Hi to you, too." He sounded a little annoyed, but then returned to his good humor. "If I can help Bri, just talk."

"Jo's friend wanted to know when our next show will be at their college or nearby,I said I would let her know when we did, so I needed you to give me the phone they use" so far I thought I did well, he didn't realize that I had another intention beyond that.

"Well, if you insist, but I can tell Jo and she'll tell Chrissie," my friend said. "Wait, you forgot her name, Brian? Why did you call her Jo's friend, you're not to forget names, and besides you've been talking for a long time ..."

"Roger" I took a quick breath so I didn't lose my temper "I just didn't say her name now, but I remember very well that it was Chrissie, okay? Just give me the phone, can you?"

"Man, you really have to do something about this whole stress," he advised me, and I knew I was more concerned than teasing.

"Sorry, Rog," I forced myself to say, "I really am ... kind of ... I can't explain, but I'll be fine, I promise you."

"Okay, if you say so," he said, "write the number there."

I was so distracted I hadn't even remembered to get a pen and paper. Luckily, I had a pen in the pocket of my jacket, and I scribbled the number on my own hand.

"Thank you," I said, and I realized I was calmer.

"Anything else I can do for my friend?" Roger offered.

"Just it for now, but thank you for the good will," I managed to laugh. "Bye, Rog."

"Bye," I hung up, and without wasting time, I dialed the number at the same time.

My anxiety hadn't let me be patient. My anxiety and that other feeling that I still had doubts of what it really was.


	5. Creatures and Aliens

-Hello?

I heard the voice on the other end of the line, but I couldn't help but feel a little disappointment. It was Jo who had attended, which made me worried because I was afraid of what she would think if I asked about Chrissie. However, I had no other explanation to give her to justify the call. Maybe if I told Jo that I wanted to talk to her friend, she would just pass the phone and not tease me. So I decided to trust Jo's friendship.

"Hi Jo, it's Brian, do you know if Chrissie is busy? I wanted to talk to her," I said, putting a hand on my forehead, finding me an idiot for being so flustered.

"Well, I'm going to give it to her." Jo was kind, and I heard her calling Chrissie.

"Hi, Brian ..." Chrissie hesitated a bit, but I could tell from her voice that she was smiling "is everything okay with you?"

"Yeah, that's okay," was what I was able to respond through the joy I felt at talking to her again "I ... I wanted to know if you were okay after yesterday."

"Great Brian, what a nice way to pull a subject ..." I thought wryly.

"I'm okay, really," she giggled. "Thank you for caring, that's ... nice of you."

"Oh good" I said, still feeling like an idiot, "I'm not disturbing you or anything, am I? I ... I didn't want to disturb you, sorry if I was disturbing you."

"No, no, not at all." She sounded worried. "I was just reading a little, not much."

"Reading to study or have fun?" I sat down, feeling calmer.

"Having fun," Chrissie replied, "is one of the things I like to do most."

"So if you don't mind telling me, what book were you reading?" "I took advantage of the subject that came up, and I was really curious.

"Um ... promise you will not mock me?" I felt fear and shame in her voice.

"No, of course not, I would never do that ..." I wanted to protect her, sad for her to think like that.

"I love The Hobbit ..." she said with concern and I was confused, I had heard of this book, but I didn't know what it was about.

"Ah ... I ... I don't know what it is" I shrugged and even giggled "because you love it so much, you can tell me more about it.

"Seriously?" Chrissie flinched. "Do you really want to know?"

"Yes, yes," I encouraged her sincerely.

"Okay, don't mind if I get carried away," she warned me.

"I said I don't mind, please," I felt the urge to hear her rise inside me again.

"It's about a character, a hobbit, who is a creature of a fantasy world," Chrissie explained slowly, "he's called Bilbo Baggins, who was living a quiet life until a wizard, Gandalf, invites him on an adventure, and then Bilbo has to adapt to these situations that he's not accustomed to."

"It seems incredible" I was really interested in the book "I think I even want to read it ..."

"Really? I ... I didn't think you were interested, I just said all this because you asked, but ..." Chrissie hesitated again.

"But what? You can say, please" I tried to be gentle, I wanted her to keep talking, but I didn't want to press her.

"It's a children's book, there are even illustrated editions." Chrissie chuckled softly and I felt her laughter warm my heart.

"So that's why you were afraid to tell me? Oh, don't mind that" I smiled "you know I love something for kids too, even though I'm an adult?"

"What do you love?" Her voice sounded more relaxed now.

"I love Doctor Who" I ended up taking a little of Chrissie's excitement when she told me about the book "it's all about this space travel thing and the different planets and civilizations ..."

"It has all to do with you, well, at least with what you told me," she agreed, "and ... I also like this show, I confess more to the historical parts, but this travel-time thing and the universe , creates every possibility, so much so that I always surprise myself with each new episode."

"I feel exactly like that when I watch it" I smile even more at this coincidence "well, Doctor Who I know very well, but The Hobbit, I want to know as well as you."

"Are you going to read it? Even with your busy schedule? Not that I think it's bad ..." Chrissie interrupted herself again "I think I gave you an idea that will get in your way, sorry for that ..."

I really had to stop for a moment, seeing how easily she blamed herself for fear of hurting me if I said or did something, and it was so unfair. And I understood why she thought so, after all I also called her worried about the same reason. Chrissie was so kind, calm, patient, I knew, even for the short time I knew her, that she would never do anything to harm me. Creating courage, I decided to make it clear to her.

"Chrissie, listen to me, I'm going to say it heartily," I said as sweetly as possible, "nothing you've suggested will distract me, indeed, I loved the book's suggestion, I can reorganize myself and make time to read, I assure you, it won't disturb me in anything, and besides, while reading, I would like to comment with you my opinion, what do you think?"

"I ..." on that little word I realized she was thrilled "I will love you if you do that. Just ... call me back then, to talk about The Hobbit, and let me know about the show, don't think I forgot that."

"Of course, I haven't forgotten either, so we have a deal?" I proposed, feeling a little more comfortable.

"Yes, we have, of course," said Chrissie, smiling, "and thanks Brian for the conversation and worry and everything."

"I thank you, I loved to talk to you," I returned what she said. "All right, have a good day's rest and a good night."

It was clear that the conversation was over, but I didn't want it to end. 

"So ..." Chrissie let it in the air, "until the next call?"

"Yeah, bye, Chrissie," I said with some sadness at having to say goodbye.

"Bye, have a good day too," her cheerful voice wished me and disappeared.

I gave another sigh, I was sorry for the farewell and glad for the conversation. All I had to do now was get a copy of The Hobbit


	6. Favors

I didn't know if Imperial College's library would have a copy of Chrissie's book, but I thought it wouldn't be hard to take a look. I did this as soon as we finished the call, and I didn't have much success in that. Not even the Literature section had it. That was when I had to make a difficult decision.

I would have to go downtown, which meant an extra bus trip within my small budget, which could leave me without money for the bus on a class day, which would make me miss class, which was bad. I really didn't know what to do. I wanted to get this book at any cost, but I also had other priorities, like my classes. Even if I found the book in a bookstore near where I lived, I would have to spend money out of budget anyway.

And that's when I decided to use my last resort: call my mother. I felt terrible about having to do this, I didn't want to give my parents more work, but that was all I could do.

So, I went to another class the next day, and there was still a show later that day, and before Roger and Tim came to pick me up, I took the courage to call.

"Hi, Mom," it was always good to hear my mother's voice, I'd missed her so much since I'd moved from Hampton to London.

"Brian, I'm glad you called my boy," my mother said excitedly. "How are you, darling?"

"I'm fine, I'm doing okay, I didn't miss any classes this semester, and the shows ..." I hesitated a bit, even though my mother didn't care that I was a musician as my father, it was always a very delicate subject for me with my parents "well, I'm still doing it."

"And have you any other reason to call?" I know you have, I know you, my love, you don't need be afraid to speak," my mother replied, and I was grateful she was so understanding.

"Yeah, Mom, so ..." I tapped my leg frantically because of nervousness. "I ... I'm going to need 20 bucks, I promise I'll pay you back as soon as I can."

"Only that? Okay, my love, it's not that much, I think I can send you, but no loan, I'm giving you the heart" Mom accepted "but why do you need the money, if you don't mind telling me."

My mother was very understanding, but I knew from all my years of living with her that saying that she didn't mind meant "you'd better tell me."

"I did ..." I started slowly, feeling a sudden huge shame, "a new friend who showed me one of her favorite books to read, and I ... I was going to take a look at the libraries in the center to see if I could find it, I needed more money for the bus because of that, that's all."

"Oh, Brian, why didn't you say so?" My mother laughed enchanted -"you should use this money to buy the book, yes, wouldn't you like to do that?"

"No, no, I don't want to give you any more trouble, I just told Chrissie I'd read the book," I said back.

"All right then, do what you think best," Mom decided, "and this friend? Is Chrissie her name? How did you meet her? I'm glad you made another friend."

I felt even worse because she remembered one of my worst faults, I was terrible at making friends.

"She's a friend of Roger's girlfriend," I managed to answer. "We met after a show and I ... I started talking to her, that's when she mentioned the book and I was curious, I told Chrissie I'd read it".

"Oh, that's very lovely, my son," I could tell my mother was smiling by her voice, and that was already bothering me, because I began to deduce what she was thinking about Chrissie " you think you could introduce me to her, Some day, I don't know ..."

"Mom, I didn't make it clear, but I met her two days ago, okay? And she's just a friend, just to make it clear" I was on the defensive as gently as possible.

"Brian, I just wanted to meet her the way I know Tim and Roger, it's good to know you have friends and meet them," my mother said. "That's all. I'll leave you with your things, I know there's still a lot to study and Chrissie's book to read."

"Thank you for understanding me," I sighed with relief. "I love you, mom. Bye."

"I love you too, my angel, bye." Mom said good-bye and I hung out.

And as soon as I did, I felt the sudden urge to run to the bank just to see if the money had already there. I was always anxious, but this level of anxiety was new to me. I had already solved the question, I was in a hurry to read because I had found The Hobbit an interesting story, and when I read it, I would have more to talk to Chrissie, and talk to Chrissie ... I felt very well, I felt good to be interested in what she was talking about, at the mere sound of her voice.

Okay, I was starting to ramble, to think too much about her, about Chrissie, and about how little I knew about her. Again I remembered, I barely knew her, but still, at the same time, I had a real sense of who she was. I decided that at the moment I would be her friend, someone with whom Chrissie could talk about Doctor Who and The Hobbit, and she would hear me if she talked about music and the universe. We would always listen to each other.

Later, Roger and Tim came to get me, I was so hurried I waited in front of my building.

"Good thing you're already there!" It was Roger's hi to me.

"Yeah, I got ready sooner and I came here so we didn't waste time," I said with a shrug.

"Excellent strategy, my friend, it would be good to come in early to get everything ready soon," Tim agreed.

"But before we go, if you don't mind, you can take me at the bank, my mother said she was going to send me some money today ..." I asked with concern, encouraged by my anxiety.

"Okay, no problem." Roger didn't seem to care.

"Right, Rog," I smiled relieved, and thank God my friends didn't bother me about my request.

I took the money Mom had already sent and we got back on our route to The Kensington. After that, I knew I would make the show a lot calmer, it wouldn't take that long for me to read Chrissie's book.


	7. Talks

I woke up very happy that Saturday, not only because it was Saturday, which meant a day of rest, but also because my plans had worked. As soon as I woke up, I took three buses to the downtown, flipping through the children's section of every library I found, until I came upon an edition of "The Hobbit."

I was amazed by the huge red dragon on the cover, Chrissie hadn't said anything about dragons, which made me even more excited about the story. Before I could start my long-awaited reading, I chose the best place to sit and read in peace and quiet, that's what I did and I opened the book.

It was a simple language book, it took me an hour and a half to finish reading, but I soon realized why it had charmed Chrissie. It was full of creatures, different characters, daring and risky situations, plus a fine moral lesson here and there.

Finishing my reading, I returned the book in its place, my restless mind listing what I had liked the most, and especially what I would talk to Chrissie about the book.

Speaking of Chrissie, I was kind of worried about calling her, I wasn't sure if I'd stay in the college dormitory over the weekend. Well, I need to call to find out. Arriving home, I ran to the telephone, dialing the number I had already memorized.

"Hi?" said Chrissie, which soon made me smile.

"Hi, Chrissie? It's Brian, again," I added with a low giggle.

"Brian, hi, how are you?" she said very easily, which made me relaxed too.

"Fine, everything is great, and things got better because of you" when I saw that I had said that, I felt like a fool.

"Why? I ... Well, I have no idea what I might have done" the way her voice sounded, she was speaking with the corner of her mouth tight.

"I'm referring to" The Hobbit, "I clarified. "I just read it and it's amazing!"

"Seriously? Did you read everything? In just one morning? Wow!!" She laughed in delight, and the sound of her laughter warmed my heart.

"Yeah, it's because it's good as you said, I couldn't stop reading, it's really very incredible," I praised sincerely.

"I'm so glad you liked it," she said in her sweet way. "Wait till you read the sequels."

"Wait, is there more?" I was impressed, and I worried about the possible unfolding that I would have to do to read the other books.

"Yes, yes, there is," Chrissie laughed again. "Haven't you been curious to know how Smeagol went to that cave and became like that?"

"Yes, I was, by the way, the charades and Smaug's talk with Bilbo are the best parts for me," I finished.

"But look, read the rest of the books only if you want, okay?" -she recommended to me, half amused, half worried "by the way Brian, is there other stories that you like? We can do the opposite, you can tell me a book you like now."

"Really?" I started to doubt if that moment was real, I was talking to someone so rare I found, a girl who liked to read like me, who was interested again in what I liked "well, I ... I got a book from Jules Verne these days at my college library."

"Jules Verne?" Chrissie said a little louder, I had to put the phone away from the ear "Jules Verne? He is one of my favorite authors! But I'm sorry, I interrupted you, tell me the ones you like."

"I ... I like the Chronicles of Narnia, The Hobbit reminded me of them a bit, and don't think I'm cliché for it, but I also love Sherlock Holmes tales" I told her.

"Sherlock Holmes too?" this time she didn't shout so loud "wow, it's just wonderful, how he twists your mind and then when Holmes resolves everything, it felt like everything was under our nose all the time."

"You're not the only one to feel that way, you can be sure that I also feel a mixture of indignation and wonder," I said, "do you know the solution to A Study in Scarlet and The Valley of Terror? They are the ones that impress me the most."

"Yeah, me too," Chrissie agreed. "Wow, Brian, I'd never think you'd read and liked the same books as me ... That's pretty cool."

"Well, the guys said we're alike," I reminded myself of Tim and Roger's comments.

"I'm beginning to agree with them," she said slowly, "but that's not bad, not really."

"Good, good," was the only thing I could answer at the moment, thrilled to know that she thought of us, of me "I ... well, I have to go Chrissie, but ..."

"Yes, Brian? You can tell me" she said sweetly.

"Can I call you later? I mean tomorrow, no, not tomorrow, in a few days, I don't know ... "I sighed in frustration, I didn't want to look sticky and inconvenient calling all the time.

"You can call whenever you want, Brian." I felt her understanding. "I really enjoy talking to you. I'll love to call you back".

"Really? So ... I'll call you back, okay?" I said more excitedly.

"Okay, you can call, I'll wait," Chrissie promised.

"I'll go, bye, Chrissie, have a good day," I said good-bye.

"You too," she said. "Bye, Brian."

I didn't dare turn it off, I waited for Chrissie to do it. Still thinking about what we talked about, I rushed to read "From the Earth to the Moon".

During that Saturday, I didn't call her, but I was very reluctant not to call. I managed to focus on reading, but when I paused, I kept going through my conversations with Chrissie in my head, the sound of her voice, her excitement, her understanding, she liked being similar to me ... If she liked that, did it mean she liked me? And me. about her?

I had already admitted that talking to her made me feel good, and she was a girl unlike any I had met, not that I knew many. I already considered her a friend, which also meant that I liked her, it was clear that I liked her, but ... this almost crazy desire to talk to her all the time, to know how she was, what she was doing, the well-being that her laughter caused in me ... It was definitely something different.

Before I admitted to myself what I had come to conjecture, I just content myself to keep talking to Chrissie from a distance. Taking advantage of her authorization, I called occasionally, in a way that I thought wasn't sticky.

Chrissie told about her lessons, which made me learn a little more about Didactics and Child Psychology, when Jo tested her patience, how she had a hobby of cooking, she told me when she missed home, although she liked some things about bustling London, she enjoyed the calm and the quiet of the interior.

And then she asked about me, completely interested in my explanations of astrophysics, which she understood perfectly, without me having to oversimplify, for Chrissie had a brilliant mind. And she listened to me with the same attention I heard her

And those were our conversations, filling the space until I saw her in person again.


	8. Conflicted Answers

I continued my methodical routine, classes and concerts, occasional academic and fanciful books, and of course something new that made me happy, the calls to Chrissie. We've spoken for several weeks since I met her, but I haven't had the opportunity to see her in person until now.

And yet when I was busy with something else, I was thinking about her and imagining what she was doing. And more and more this feeling of well being to talk to her, to like to hear her, to worry and to defend her when necessary, was growing inside me. So much that it even bothered me, but not in a bad way, but it was still so persistent ...

For the moment, I kept these thoughts to myself, but in a way, they reflected externally. When we were going to do a new show every night on our schedule, I would think of Chrissie, what would it be like if she were there with me, with us, like the other time we met ... And thinking about all this would leave me silent, in a deep state of immersion within myself.

"Brian, are you okay?" Roger asked one time, a little suspicious "I know you're usually quiet, but when you're too quiet, it's a sign that you're angry and I hope the reason is not me."

"No, no" I had to laugh "this time it wasn't you, you can relax, it's just ..."

I paused, thinking that this wasn't the place to talk about my feelings.

"A thing of mine, that's all, but relax, man, okay?" I smiled, making sure I was all right.

"We can't totally relax, Brian." Tim entered the conversation very seriously. "It's been a while since you've been like this, and if it's something we can help you with, or even if we can't, you can tell us."

"I know, Tim, thanks," I nodded to my friend, trying to disguise the embarrassment I felt.

Roger and Tim were the only friends I had, and I trusted them, yet I still felt embarrassed to talk to them just about it, even though I felt I needed to. I left those conflicting issues aside, concentrating on the show we had to do.

I went back home, and before bed, my thoughts turned to Chrissie again. I'd call her if it wasn't so late, oh God ... How long would I stay in that agony? It was in my hands to decide what to do with this situation.

As I recalled all our conversations, my mind led me to a conjecture over something I had no control. I remembered again how I longed for my the girl of my dreams to be understanding, to understand me, to like me as I was, to demand no more than I could offer, and Chrissie had all these characteristics. And I liked her, not only for that, but mainly for who she was. I liked her way, her excitement, her intelligence, her kindness... Everything that made her be her.

There was no way I could deny, however much I didn't want it, to be afraid to admit what it was, but the truth, I accepted, after a long sigh, was that I was in love with Chrissie Mullen. And what was left for me to do now? I didn't have the answer to that.

The problem was that I wanted to have so much someone to talk about it, no matter how much Tim and Roger were always sympathetic to me, even with my current dilemma, I felt embarrassed to tell them this. I would have to find a way to deal with all this, which wasn't easy.

Before I decided anything, I just tried to sleep, leaving that question to the next day. It was when the roles reversed, and I noticed Roger more than bothered, but rather irritated with something.

"What is it Rog?" I asked, worried as usual.

"Ah, nothing Brian, just Jo pissing me off, she said I don't care about her, of course I do, it's just that sometimes, I don't have time for her, can't she understand that?" he complained, very impatiently.

"You should try to explain and understand her side." I advised what I thought was best to do.

"But I only understand her side? She also had to understand me!" he crossed his arms, looking like a brat child "in addition, you aren't the greatest expert on the subject, nor does you have a girlfriend Brian, and those meetings with the girls from Biba didn't become anything."

"It was just a girl, okay?" I had to clarify, now who was angry was me "and thank you for reminding me that I am a total failure, that I gain by trying to help you."

"Bri, I'm sorry, I know, I know you just want my good, but, whatever, man, I didn't want to have to talk to Jo so early, I didn't want to fight with her."

"You're only going to fight if you want," I assured him. "It's just a little giveaway, okay?"

" 'Kay," he replied, distracted, but I was thinking seriously about what I said.

"You're welcome," I sighed, trying to renew my patience with my friend.

In the end, as much as I didn't say anything about myself, that conversation helped us both. And in a strange way, Roger was right, I gave romantic advice to him not knowing what to do with my love life.

We had this conversation shortly before a show, and before the next one happened, Tim came to tell me personally what the next place we would perform would be. I was surprised to see that he had bothered to go to my apartment, since we lived very far from each other.

"Look, Tim, I'm not complaining that you come here personally, it's nice of you, but it's kind of ... unusual, then ..." I paused, still feeling confused. "Has anything happened that I don't know?"

"Oh Brian, something is happening, but you're the one who knows what it is." Tim tossed the question back to me. "I kept worrying about you."

"Ah, that," I laughed, blushing, scratching my head. "No, Tim, I think I've solved it, but at the same time ... I've got something else I have to sort out."

"I know I sound invasisve, but you just look weird, I just wanted to help," Staffell insisted again.

"Okay, right ..." I breathed and sat down, from my two friends, sure Tim was the most sensible and advisable to open my heart "what's happening is ... well ... I ... I like Chrissie, I really like Chrissie and ..."

"Would you like her to be your girlfriend?" Tim said, not helping me much.

"I don't know, I don't know, sometimes I want to, I really want it, the problem is ..." I had stood up again, starting to talk excitedly, but then I didn't know what do "I don't know if she likes me that way too, if I ... would have the courage to tell her."

"I know, I know it's difficult," my friend understood, "I've been through it too, but just try to tell her, she might like you too, you'll only know if you ask. And if she say no, patience my friend."

"That's what I was thinking Tim" I confessed "it's one of those moments in life that doesn't matter, you have to take a chance."

"Yeah, or you're going to spend the rest of your life thinking about "what if," Tim said, "I wish you luck Bri, and look, ironic, I think God and the universe are conspiring in your favor."

"Why?" I got curious.

"We'll perform in Maria Assumpta again this weekend, do you think you can seize the opportunity?" He smiled encouragingly.

"I promise to try," was what I was able to answer, although I was calmer, I tried to prepare psychologically for the big question I would ask Chrissie, not knowing what she would answer.


	9. Reunion

As soon as Tim told me that we were going to do a show at Chrissie's college again, I remembered the promise I'd made to tell her when we got back there. And now, more than ever, I was anxious to call her. I tried to calm myself, the hardest part would be when I met her on the show day, so far I just had to talk to her on the phone. Without further delay, I dialed the number Jo and Chrissie used. Increasing my nervousness, the call just got busy. Without much patience, I tried and tried again, with an endless insistence, until she answered. Because I was starting to think the worst.

"Hello?" Chrissie sounded distressed on the phone.

"Chrissie," I called, in a short sigh, a little astonished. "It's been a while since I've been trying to call and it's just busy, okay?"

"Hi, Brian, I'm okay, I mean ..." She paused for a moment, "I'm fine, and you? It's okay with me."

"It's Jo, isn't it?" I remembered her and Roger's fight, it's not possible that he had made things worse "I figured Roger had done something. If I can help in any way, you can count on me."

"Thank you, I think I can handle it well, it's not the first time I've been through this, you know?" you could tell she was uncomfortable with the subject "but you called me for another reason, didn't you?"

"Oh yeah, good thing is we'll play there again, and you told to tell you when our next show would be closer to you, and we'll stay for weekends nearby, playing in other places out there too, if you want to come" I could control myself while I talk, but I hesitated in the end, I was afraid that she wouldn't want to go.

"Of course, of course, I really want to go and I'm going" she was still worried "if there is no unforeseen event."

"I understood, go there to take care of your friend and I'll have a serious talk Roger" it was clear that she had to go see Jo "call back when you can?"

"Yes, I will" Chrissie promised, a little more relieved "thank you for understanding."

"No problem, bye" I thought I'd better hang up.

I really didn't know what to do with Roger. My part I had already done, I advised the best I could, but he probably didn't even hear me. Sometimes I didn't know how I still had patience with Roger, but if he had hurt Jo, I would have to scold him, she was too nice, and he didn't deserve to go through such a thing.

This problem of Jo and Roger kind of distracted me from the mission that I gave myself for this weekend, in addition to doing one more show. Not that I wasn't nervous yet, but I also worried about how Jo would be when we met her and Chrissie. So, when Roger and Tim came to pick me up, at the usual time, I already started to have a serious talk with our drummer.

"I really hope you got it right with Jo, it looks like she was still upset about your fight, she's too nice for you to get angry at her, Roger." I used a serious tone of authority.

"Geez, Brian, you look like my father," Roger complained. "We talked, didn't we? We're fine, really, I wasn't going to do this show at her college if we didn't get it, that's good enough for you?"

"Yes, yes," I said, and said nothing more, but still I looked at him suspiciously.

After this apparently solved problem, I still had mine to solve. We soon got to college, and without wasting time, we began to assemble the instruments and leave everything in place. I was so focused that I didn't notice that Chrissie and Jo were already there, were it not for Tim to see them first.

"Look who's here," he pointed to where they were.

It was the first time I had seen Chrissie after a while, and I couldn't contain my sigh at her sight. I just tried not to sigh so loudly or give too much how much I was delighted. Her hair was loose, as she always wore, the brown and yellow plaid coat was hanging from her chair, she wore a light blue dress, her favorite color. Since I wanted to talk to her before the show, she'd stay close to me, at least a little bit. Then, knowing she wouldn't listen to me from the distance we were from each other, I just nodded and motioned for Chrissie to come to me. I watched, waiting to see what she would do with a silly grin on my face, but I didn't care. She said something to Jo and then got to where I was. My vision was above Chrissie's since I was on the stage and she was on the floor.

"Oh, sorry to get you out of your place," I realized she was so comfortable, and yet I urged her to get up.

"No, no problem, it's good to talk to you before the show, we have a little time for that," she said, and I was impressed that she thought it was good to talk to me, "how are you?"

"Fine, I'm fine," I answered immediately, but I was embarrassed, because I wanted to talk to her, but I hadn't thought about what exactly, certainly not the right time for my request.

I don't think Chrissie knww what to say, either, I called her and couldn't even bring up a subject, how great, Brian ...

"You still have to sort things out, right?" She tried.

"Yeah, yeah, we still have to tune the strings and I'm going to help Rog with the drums" good thing a subject came up, something I had enough content to keep talking about.

"Of course, about Roger, you didn't do anything, did you?" Chrissie commented.

"Ah, just a basic sermon," I smiled contentedly. "I just gave him some advice, you know?"

"Thank you, I mean, Jo got really bad, but she's a lot better now, I think this has to do with you too," she said and I felt good to be able to help Jo and leave Chrissie calm too "I'm wasting your time. Good luck on the show, Bri, Brian, sorry I called you Bri."

Oh my God, how could she think I was going to be offended by her calling me by a nickname? She was so insecure, so cautious, she had no idea how happy I was that she called me Bri, it was a sign that we were closer enough for her to call me that ...

"No problem, it's my nickname," I assured her, casually, admiring her way.

"It's just that we met a little while ago, if you consider, and a nickname is too informal, but ..." Chrissie was embarrassed again, I felt the need to make it clear that everything was fine.

"You can call me Bri, Chrissie," I concentrated on her beautiful kind eyes. "I've called you by your nickname since I've known you."

"It's because almost no one calls me Christine," she replied.

"If you need my official authorization, you can call me Bri," I said again, jokingly, but with some seriousness.

"All right," she laughed, that sound making me even happier "so good luck ... Bri."

Chrissie gave me a smile, and I watched her approach a little more of me, she stood on tiptoe, raising her head to reach my face, of course I realized what she was doing, but I couldn't believe it.

Since I was very tall and she was much lower than me, I leaned forward to help her. Her left hand touched my shoulder, I thought I was going to freak out, nervous, but I didn't move an inch, I just felt my heart speed up a little more at the touch of Chrissie, her lips touched my cheek gently, not too fast, not too slow, just long enough for me to feel myself in the clouds with that gesture.

"Thank you ..." was all I could say, I was grateful and embarrassed "I think it's a good luck kiss."

"It can be ..." She laughed softly, a little nervous as I was.

Chrissie smiled again, and without another word, returned to her place. I just tried to regain my concentration, since I had a show to do, but it had been difficult. Before I tuned in the Red Special, I put my hand on the kissed cheek again, using Chrissie's gesture as an incentive for my big question.


	10. A request

With some difficulty, since I was still delighted with what Chrissie had done, (I could hardly believe she had kissed me, it was just a kiss on the cheek, but still, I was still amazed and happy at the same time with that), I concentrated on doing the show. Tim said good evening to the audience and then the three of us started playing together.

I've never been much of looking the public in the eye while I played, no matter how accustomed I was with perfoming and everything, I still felt afraid and ashamed to be watching who was watching me, but that night, when I had the chance, I peeked in the middle of the audience, making sure that Chrissie was still in the same place. And every time I looked at her, I ended up smiling.

When we played "Doing All Right", it was impossible not to remember her, by the way, this was one of her favorites, and I ended up watching her a lot more as we played this song. So much so that coincidentally we ended up singing the chorus together, looking simultaneously at each other. Her gaze was pure admiration, euphoria, enchantment, deep down I knew it was because of the song, but I watched her feeling all those same feelings for her. I was sure I couldn't waste time, I had to tell her what I felt, even if I was afraid of Chrissie's reaction, I didn't want to scare her, I didn't want her to feel pressured, I just wanted ... that she liked me so much like I liked her.

When the show ended, I barely took my eyes off her, I didn't want to lose any of her steps, and I was more than glad when I saw her coming to the stage. Even though I was mingling with so many people, I didn't lose sight of her. Chrissie squeezed into the crowd and eventually came closer to me, I saw how much she felt suffocated by all this, so I offered to help her as she stepped onto the stage, holding out my hand to her, to make her feel relieved of all that tightness.

"Are you okay?" I asked as soon as she stood in front of me.

"I am," she said, a little more calmly, "the show was very good, really! I loved everything, really."

"Thank you, but don't forget to tell the boys that." I smile at the compliments, remembering my companions as well.

"I will, you three deserve," she said.

"You know ..." I saw that was my chance, but still up there, in the middle of all that noise, there was no way I could talk to her, and I was getting nervous about it, inadvertently, I ended up thinking something else to say "you also had a bit to do with it."

"Me? How?" She was a little stunned.

"Your kiss gave me good luck ..." I said softly, dying of shame, finding me very corny.

"Oh, it was nothing, Bri." She smiled, and I realized she was glad to call me by my nickname.

"Look, Chrisse, give me some time to put everything away, and then I'll meet you, okay?" I said, afraid she might leave.

"Okay" she agreed.

"See you then," I said, letting her go and wait for me.

"I'll wait," Chrissie assured me.

I smiled, pleased at her response. So my friends and I kept everything, and soon we sat down with her, Jo wasn't there. With courage, I sat down on Chrissie's left side. Roger also noticed Jo's absence, since he asked her, Chrissie didn't know where our friend was and my friend ended up going after his girlfriend. Soon after, Chrissie praised us again, which made me happy, since she always recognized our efforts as musicians.

"Well, I waited for you." She turned to me, giving me a smile. "Did you want to say something to me?"

"Yeah, we always talk about the band and Roger and Jo, about me, but never about you" I chose to start with that, showing my interest and concern for her.

"Oh, there's not much to say about me," she said modestly, "although Jo says I'm interesting a while ago."

"She's right," I said, but dying of embarrassment.

"I have to thank you now for the compliment," she said, "but, didn't Roger stay here because of you scolding him?"

"Oh, not for that," I managed to laugh, "but he's trying to fix his mistakes. He should try a little harder for his relationship with Jo to work."

"That's what I tried to tell Jo, they're so incompatible" I saw that Chrissie was a bit hesitant to talk about it "she has a strong but sensitive personality, and Roger, don't get me wrong, he's your friend, but. .. I get the impression that he can hurt her very easily."

"I also have that impression," I continued the subject, giving my opinion, but I also know that he had a huge heart, but he was so dumb often.

"I know" I understood that she understood the situation well "I ... I don't know if you agree, but for a relationship to work the couple has to have things in common, have personalities compatible, if not, they will reach a point that they cann't stand anymore and end up separating in a bad way."

"Exactly," my voice came out firmly, but inside I could hardly believe we were having this conversation (did she mistrust my feelings? Was that good or bad?), I just decided to say what I thought about it, sharing a little of my dreams with a certain subtlety "what I think is that a couple are two people fighting together, as allies, to build a life together, where one helps the other, mutually, in agreement."

Having said that, I didn't believe the courage I had at the time, and then I was ashamed again. It was so hard to talk ... despite everything I was feeling ... I knew I needed to telll ... I ended up taking a moment to recover my courage. Lowering my head, my hair fell into my eyes. When I noticed, Chrissie gently placed my hair behind my ear. Oh God ... that little gesture made me even more enchanted, in a strange way, made me go ahead with my plan.

"Will you do something tomorrow, Chrissie?" I said it at once, preferring to start the subject like this, not to frighten her.

"Oh, no, the semester is almost over and I'm free for a while," she replied.

"Well, if you want, I can come get you, to ... you know, we go out together?" I said slowly, sounding extremely nervous, writhing my face in anticipation.

"Yes, yes, I ..." she accepted with a huge smile, to my joy "I will be waiting."

"All right, all right," I snapped, instantly believing I'd done it.

There was a brief moment of silence between us, and I confess that I didn't know exactly what to do there, it was then that Chrissie saved us from the embarrassment.

"Well ... did you ... have you had time to read any more books?" she asked, pulling on another subject.

"Ah ... I finished reading "From Earth to the Moon" and began to read "Prince Caspian" again" I replied, feeling more relaxed.

"Prince Caspian?" I really like that one, but my favorite of "The Chronicles of Narnia" is "The Horse and His Boy," Chrissie said enthusiastically, continuing to tell her reasons for liking this book a little more than the others in the saga.

I was only listening, responding occasionally, so happy just to see her so excited, and Chrissie have agreed to go out with me. Now all I had to do was plan what we would do and where we would go.


	11. Planning

Tim and Roger called me to leave, after all me and the girls had our appointments for the next day. Jo and Roger seemed to be getting along, which made me and Chrissie happy, from what I could tell from her.

Before I said goodbye to Chrissie, I glanced over to see if anyone would hear what I was going to say, I didn't want Roger or Tim to know about my plans, at least for now. I wanted things to go well first, if things went wrong, they would never know.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow?" I reminded her of our agreement.

"Oh, of course," she smiled. "Good night, Brian."

"Good night, sleep well, see you tomorrow," I said, wanting to say a lot more things, much more compliments, more good wishes for the next day, but I restrained myself.

On the way back, I think my good humor and tranquility showed, since Roger didn't tease me because I was sulky or something, he just left me alone. I think he felt the same way I did after making up with Jo. I suspected that Tim already had a sense of what I had done.

I said goodbye to my friends, and I got home, going to bed soon after, in my head, the sooner I slept, the sooner the next day would come and soon I would see Chrissie, just me and her, at ease to talk about what we liked, about my feelings ...

That's why when I woke up the next day, I focused on each of my tasks, while I performed them I didn't notice the time passing. A test set for the following week also helped me spend the rest of the day when I returned home. That's when I realized that I still hadn't planned what we would do. Oh my God, how could I be so distracted?

Okay, I took a deep breath, finishing my summary of the subject for the test and thinking about what we could do. Being with so little money as I was, I prioritized the options without expenses, so I discarded cinema, or restaurant, nor did the cafeteria pay. That's when I thought of something else. The night I met Chrissie, I saw her staring at the sky, almost in the same interest as me, maybe it wasn't a bad idea to watch the stars together, and I had a perfect place in mind for that.

When I moved to London, it hadn't been easy for me. I felt suffocated, longing for my parents, although I was excited about everything I would learn at Imperial College. I decided to visit the famous Hyde Park, following the directions of the subway lines, finding the way alone. I walked around the place, half not knowing what to do, trying to clear my head, that's when I got tired, and I looked at the sky, my old defense mechanism, a way of looking for God, the old habit I had. That starry sky was worth watching calmly. I looked around, looking for where to sit, I just lay the grass under a tree, it could be uncomfortable, but the view was perfect. The full moon was yellow and big, as bright as the sun of a new day, it made me hope that things would improve, so I could go home more quietly, but always coming back to that same place when I wanted a time of peace and quiet just to look at the sky.

Again I hoped that Chrissie didn't think the idea foolish or simple, or that I was miser and didn't want to spend money for her.

So I decided to study some more for my test, seeing if anything was missing from my resume, focusing on it while waiting for nightfall. We had to be in Hyde Park at night to get the perfect time to watch the sky. Remembering that, I glanced out the window to see how the weather was, it didn't look like it was going to rain, at least for now.

I figured how long it would take for me to get to Maria Assumpta, and then how long it would take us to get to the park. Apparently, she had to leave the house immediately. I dressed in a way not very formal, not too sloppy, just how I dressed to go anywhere, the important thing was that I felt good with what I was wearing. I collected my money, counted the amount to get three buses, and there I went, heading for my mission.

It was tiring to walk three times by bus then, but I regained my energy as soon as I arrived at my final destination. Running to the front desk, I then asked where Chrissie Mullen's room was.

"And what are you to her?" the secretary asked sternly.

"I'm her friend, my name is Brian May, you can ask her, she knows me and she's expecting a visit from me," I said at once.

"Lad, you're so desperate that I doubt you're lying," the secretary commented, and I triedn't to grimace at what she said as she checked the records, in a deliberate way that I was intent on "Christine Mullen isn't ? Pavilion D, Room 13."

"Okay, thank you." I didn't expect her to say anything more, and I just walked out to meet Chrissie.

I stumbled in the corridors, looking for the door that would have a sign with the number 13 above it, I stopped suddenly, taking a deep breath, so that I didn't seem so flushed as soon as she saw me. I breathed again, and then I knocked on the door. It wasn't long before it was open, but still, it was taking too long for me. I smiled automatically at the sight of Chrissie, even though she looked a little bored, but relieved.

"Hi," I paused, "I'm sorry for the delay. I had to get three buses, and I still had to ask where your dorm was."

"I never told you exactly where my room was," she said, which made me glad she understood me "but you found me."

"Yes," I agreed, without wasting any more time, "are you ready to go?"

"I am, just don't put me in danger." I felt a little embarrassed at her joke.

I just nodded, then we walked, a little silent. I didn't want to pressure her, or embarrass her, or do anything that made her feel uncomfortable, it had already been a great victory for her to have agreed to go out with me and I wanted to do my best to make everything go well.


	12. Dream Come True

By the way we were doing, I thought Chrissie already had an idea of where we were going, at least for now. I stopped at the bus stop, and she did the same as I did, her expression intent, thoughtful, but agitated, trying to guess my plans, for sure. I didn't condemn her for that, and her interest made me happy.

"You'll have to get another bus," Chrissie pointed out, sounding amused.

"I thought I'd borrow the van, but it's Roger's, and I didn't want to bother him if he needed it, which almost always happens," I confessed, I thought, but then I dismissed the option because I'd have to give Roger some satisfaction I didn't want to give.

"Okay," she said simply, half anxious, looking down, half not knowing what to do.

Her nervousness worried me, I wanted it to be a surprise, I didn't want to explain where we were going and what we would do until the time was right. So for the moment, I gave her a shy smile, to make sure that even if it didn't look like it, I had everything under control. I looked at the buses, which would take us to Hyde Park, so it was fortunate that one of them soon arrived in the vicinity of the park.

"Come on this one, come with me, please, Chrissie," I said excitedly, but in the tone of an invitation.

"Okay," she nodded, giggling a little, following me.

And then we sat side by side, in a silence broken only by London traffic, the bus stops and honks. I got up straight away, seeing we got where we wanted to go. With all my patience and expectation, I waited for Chrissie to follow me. We walked a little longer until we reached Hyde Park.

"I have to confess something ..." I said when we arrived, with a certain nervousness, was not yet the crucial time, but still, would test the beginning of my plan.

"What?" Chrissie looked at me extremely worried.

"I left a little late for us to get here after dark," I continued, still afraid. "Don't laugh at me please, but I ... I wanted to see the stars with you, and here is my favorite place to do it since I moved to London."

"Hey, you don't need to worry," she said and approached me, her hand touching my face, and I controlled myself so she did not notice my excitement about it" I think it's beautiful, the sky, and you ... I mean, you enjoying to watch the sky."

It was too good to be true, and too late, I laughed exaggeratedly. I couldn't believe, Chrissie really liked what I planned!

"Then come with me," I added excitedly.

I walked to my favorite place to observe the sky, and then, just there, when it was time to sit down, after having planned everything, I had forgotten to bring a blanket to sit down. Only me could forget something so important ...

"What is it?" Chrissie had noticed me being a fool, so great ...

"I forgot to get a blanket for us to sit on." I shrugged, confessing with shame.

"Oh, no problem," she decided, pulling off her coat and laying it on the floor.

"No, Chrissie, don't do it, you're going to get it all dirty ..." I was so embarrassed and I even thought I'd stop her from doing it.

"I'll wash myself," she answered nonchalantly. "Come, sit down."

I smiled at the offer and slowly sat down beside her. I managed not to sit any closer to her, I didn't want to scare her, I just contented myself to sit a short distance from Chrissie.

"Now I understand why this is your favorite place" she understood me once more, ever since we met, already looking at the sky "it's the perfect angle to see all the stars ..."

After all, the date was going well.

"You see that one there?" I felt comfortable and pointed up, looking at the stars along with her "it's Orion, my favorite."

"You really understand the universe to know such a specific name," Chrissie said, "that's really cool."

"Oh, thanks," I thanked her and once again I was glad she liked what I liked.

"If I may say Bri, I would never imagine you're the guitarist in a band if I didn't see you performing" I saw she was happy to talk "because it seems like liking physics, math, astronomy does not match rock. But that's no problem, it just makes you more interesting."

"You think I'm interesting?" I said, startled, not believing what she had just said, "because I don't find myself interesting."

"That's exactly what I told Jo about me these days," she told me and laughed.

"But I think you interesting," I confessed, and in my mind and heart I felt the moment had come. I decided to explain it in a little way, in a way she would understand "you, Chrissie, since you said something sincerely about me, I think I have the right to say something sincere about you, do you think it's fair?"

"Yes, that's fair," she replied immediately, which made me more nervous and made my heart race. I couldn't put it off any longer, I had already proposed it, now I had to go to the end.

"You are ..." I had barely begun and had filled me with shame, my eyes wanted to divert Chrissie's, but I fought my fear, I had to have the courage, I knew that in my life I would never find another girl like her "you are the kind of girl I expected to meet all my life, some nerd like me, who understood me, understood my way, and supported my dreams. And I'm pretty sure you're all that. I don't know how you feel, but ... after we started talking, and you went to our shows, and ... what I want to say is that I really like you. I just..."

"Brian ..." she interrupted me, and I was scared to death of what she would answer.

I stared at her scared face, I was trying to figure out what to do next, but it was impossible to decide what to do if she didn't answer me. I stood there, waiting ... until I couldn't do it anymore.

"You don't have to answer anything if you don't want to," I said carefully, and in fear, "I just thought I had to tell you."

"Brian" Chrissie called me again, I sighed, getting ready for the worst "I ... I also like you, and I guess I just realized now."

Wait, she liked me, Chrissie liked me too, she had realized at that moment, probably just because I declared myself, but even so, the important thing was that she liked me, just as I liked her.

"Then ..." it was really now or never, that answer allowed me to ask the question that many times in my life I thought I would never do, I kept talking cautiously "if I like you, and you like me, I need ask something."

"Say it ..." she asked in a sigh.

"Christine Mullen, do you want to be my girlfriend?" I asked, very softly, almost crying.

"Yeah," was her response, and I thought I was going to explode.

No, it wasn't possible, I could only be dreaming. I had met the girl of my dreams, and she was right there in front of me. I sighed again, trying to control what I was doing through emotion, I moved closer to her, very slowly, and to my delight, she leaned toward me. Slowly, I touched her chin carefully, watching her face, looking right into her eyes, no doubt we felt the same.

"May I?" I asked, carefully, but so anxious.

"Yes," she said, giving me a beautiful smile.

I touched Chrissie's lips with mine, slowly, and stayed like that for a long time. Without our parting, I felt her hands on my shoulders, which made me happier, and made me think she wanted to lean on me, I just put a hand on her waist, to help her and to get closer to her. We parted slowly, and I wanted to laugh, just to laugh at such joy.

"I don't know what to say ..." Chrissie looked a little embarrassed, but she smiled at me.

"Do you regret it?" I was so happy that I even joked.

"Not at all." She gave me a spontaneous, strong hug, and she didn't let go of me anytime soon.

I didn't even want to let her go, I stood there, in a moment of silence, of perception, of understanding that my dream had fulfilled, with one arm I kept her close to me, with the other hand caressing her head, allowing her to curl up even more in my chest.

"My girl of my dreams ..." I whispered very softly, it was still hard to believe that Chrissie Mullen was my girlfriend.


	13. Officially Dating

I noticed Chrissie stirring a little, and I let her undo the hug for a moment. I couldn't stop smiling at her.

"So that's it, Brian, I'm ... officially your girlfriend." I saw that she said with difficulty, but not out of fear, but out of emotion.

"Yes, that's right, I asked, you accepted and here we are," I summed it up, and then I thought of something else, "but I have to do something very important so that we can have a proper dating.

"Ah, and what do you call of "proper dating" ? " Chrissie said, joking, but curious.

"I need to talk to your parents," I said seriously. "First of all, it's the right thing to do, don't you think? To ,ake it clear to them what my intentions are and reassure them that their daughter is not committed to a nobody."

"You're not a nobody, Bri ..." she smiled, touching my face "that I'm sure, and I agree with you, we'll tell my parents together, even because I don't think I would dare do it alone."

"I understand you, Chrissie, and I'll tell them with you, since you prefer it," I smiled at her.

"That's very sweet of you, Bri," she said. "You're a gentleman, responsible, concerned to do the right thing, I just ... I'm so grateful to have found you."

"I thank you for accepting me, I ..." I hesitated to say, despite everything we had gone through and what had happened, I was still a little afraid "I was afraid that you'd say no ..."

"No, no, Brian, look, I didn't expect that." Chrissie was sincere. "Not really, but I'm very, very sure of what I chose, seriously, Bri."

"Okay," I just smiled, unable to do anything but surrender to her kindness and understanding, she really saw me and considered me much more than myself, and on top of that, it seemed that Chrissie couldn't stop calling me Bri, which made me even happier, and made me start laughing.

"What's it?" she was curious.

"You were so afraid to call me Bri, and you hardly called me Brian today," I clarified my laughter.

"Oh, it's because I'm your girlfriend now," she said in a sweet voice, "I'm close enough to you to call you Bri."

"And it's wonderful to hear you call me that," I confessed to her, and we exchanged a smile.

We re-embraced the embrace, but with our eyes turned to the sky, I showed some more constellations to Chrissie, some of them she even recognized, and I just stopped my explanations when I noticed the clouds covering the sky. That could only mean one thing.

Without a word I got up and Chrissie followed me, without me offering, she took my hand, which made me so happy, I held it tight, but gently, not wanting to release it. She leaned closer, laying her head on my shoulder. I brought her closer to me, helping her curl up. There I was, in one of my favorite places, with my girlfriend. It was simply perfect, nothing could separate us except the sudden rain.

"Is that rain?" Chrissie asked.

"Oh yeah," I grimaced at the water. "We'd better run."

We started to walk faster, but the rain thickened before we found a cover. Inspired by her previous idea, I pulled my coat up over our heads, trying to cover us up.

"Stay near me, Chrissie, to be covered," I instructed, and she did as I asked.

Even so, we got wet at the bus stop.

"That was a disaster ..." I moaned a little while trying to dry my hair.

"No, it was not," Chrissie told me, "even if we get sick, today all was worth it."

"Really?" I was still scared, since I had brought it there and the rain got us.

"Of course it was," she said emphatically, convincing me and comforting me at the same time.

I stood for a moment watching Chrissie, my girlfriend, still had trouble believing, even more than she was about to do. I had started our first kiss, but she had taken the initiative for the second one, I helped her to lean on because of our height difference. The touch of her lips on mine was sweet, delicate, careful, meant to remind me that I was important to her. We waited for a bus wrapped in a hug, and so, after the trip back, I accompanied her to the door of her room.

And after all those magical moments we just went through, we didn't know what to do.

"Thank you." Chrissie shook her head. "I don't know how to thank you, it was really a special night, and thank you for seeing me the way you said it. I also ... I never thought I would find someone like you."

"I thank you" she smiles gratefully, "well, I'll let you rest, and ... when we see each other again, I say, when you're not busy ..."

"You also have to be unoccupied," she agreed, "but you know, Smile's upcoming show would be perfect."

"I agree," I nodded, "and now that we're dating and Roger is coming to get Jo here, we can pick up the both of you. Um ... can I tell Tim and Roger we're dating?"

"Yes, you can, I'll have to tell Jo anyway, because she'll want to know about our date, and she'll tell Roger," Chrissie explained.

"I guess I'll go then" it was clear that the conversation was over, she had to go to sleep, and so did I, but I didn't want to leave yet.

"Wait just a little Bri," Chrissie said, and I was a bit confused. She left in a hurry, but soon she came back, there was an umbrella in her hand. "Here, give me back our next date."

"I will," I smiled at her. "So, good night."

We exchanged the look that meant the same thing, we both kissed quickly, I was sure that my girlfriend was afraid someone would catch us there, and so did I.

"Good night," she answered me, and then I left, with the umbrella on, facing a weaker rain now.

In my head, I began humming "Doing All Right," now more than ever I associated the song with Chrissie. It was still incredible to me that I had a girlfriend. Not even the fact that I had to get another three buses to come home would take away my enthusiasm.

I arrived at my apartment shortly after 10:30, and, stopping to think a little, I decided to make a special call. Before, I'd have to take a hot shower if I didn't want to get the flu. That's what I did, and some time later, thinking about the schedule, I figured the person I was calling would still be awake and I wouldn't bother her.


	14. Telling the news

"Mom? It's me" I said to my mother,she was a little tired, but excited to be able to talk to me "I ... um ..."

"Brian, you call me this time in the middle of the week and don't tell me what it is, I'll start thinking the worst, my love, but it's nothing serious, is it?" Mom wanted to make sure everything was fine.

"No, it's nothing serious," I reassured her, "you know ... do you know when I said sometimes that I knew exactly how I wanted my girlfriend to be? Well, I found her, Mom, and today I asked her to be my girlfriend and she accepted, and you're the first person I'm telling you about, because I thought it was the right thing to do."

"You ... you ... did you get a girlfriend, Brian? That's ..." My mom paused, it scared me, I couldn't tell if she was angry or happy for me "my boy, that's very good, good indeed, if you're happy, I'm happy for you, but who is she? Where did you meet her? I want and need to know her urgently, understand?"

"Okay, Mom, I got it, all right," I chuckled. "Remember Chrissie? Well then, it's her, Mom, I realized that I liked her and asked her to be my girlfriend, she said yes, and here we are."

"And I want you to be here so I can get to know her properly, do you understand, young man?" my mother demanded again.

"Of course, of course, yes, ma'am," I said more seriously. "First, I'm going to talk to her parents too."

"That's right, but I'm happy for you Brian, and your father? Do you want me to let you tell him or do I tell him?" Of course my mother had to remember that.

"I'll tell him," I decided, "after talking to her parents, I promise. That's all I had to say, sorry to disturb your night and your rest."

"No, my dear, it was for a good cause, a wonderful cause, my boy, I love you, good night," my mother wished, and I smiled for feeling her love and support for me.

"I love you too, mother, good night, bye," I hung up, but already thinking that my plans for the next few days would include meeting the Mullen family.

I slept half anxious, but very happy, feeling the silly smile on my face before falling asleep for good. I didn't care if I looked silly, the most important was what I was feeling so happy that it seemed like I was going to explode. But I would also burst into nervous when I went to meet my in-laws. I took the next day as usual, following my normal routine, but when I had some free time, I ran to call Chrissie.

"Hi, my ... my ..." I said so suddenly, but soon I interrupted, for a sudden shame of not knowing exactly how to call Chrissie, what I wanted to say with all letters was "my love", but Then I stopped to think that maybe it was too soon for that.

"Bri, hi, are you okay?" I saw that I ended up leaving Chrissie confused.

"I'm fine, yes, and you? You didn't get sick, did you?" It seemed like I was getting around the point, but I really was worried about her.

"No, I'm fine, busy with an essay, but well, and you're not sick either," she laughed, after making that comment with a comical air.

"Yeah, we're not sick," I said, smiling, "but I called to talk to you when we see your parents, it has to be as soon as possible, but don't feel pressured."

"Calm down, Brian," she said sweetly, "I understand perfectly well because you want to talk to my parents, and I've already said that I fully agree with that. Look, today I called them and I said that you want to talk to them, I already mentioned that you are my boyfriend, so I think the harder to say they already know ..."

"Have you told them yet?" I was scared, but I thought she thought I was angry "not that I think it's bad, you're right, my ... Chrissie ... they'd better know before. Do you have ... any prediction of when we can visit them?"

"My father made a point of paying tickets to us, to go this weekend, do you have shows to do this weekend?" Chrissie asked, a little afraid.

"Not for a while, but I'm going to talk to Tim, not to score anything if I can," I offered a solution. "Okay, so ..."

"Brian," Chrissie called to me and redoubled my attention.

"Hmm?" I said, a little curious.

"You don't have to be so nervous, my parents are great," she tried to calm me down again. "I know it's not easy, I also wonder when I meet your parents, but ... try not to suffer in anticipation, It will be way better than you're imagining, okay?"

"Ok" I laughed for her describing exactly what I was feeling, I marveled again for her understanding me so well "however much I planned everything in my head, is that ... I just want to do everything right."

"And you will! Of course you will" Chrissie said excitedly "look, sorry to end the call, but I have to go anyway, Jo is waiting for me to do an essay together now."

"Of course, I understand you." I wanted to keep talking, but I shouldn't disturb her work. "Call me later, please?"

"Certainly, Bri" my girlfriend emphasized the hee words - "see you later!"

"Bye, bye" and again, I hung up reluctantly, wishing I could talk to her a lot more.

My next thought was that if I had to justify myself to my friends because I needed the weekend off, I would have to tell them that I was dating. That same day we had a rehearsal, and as nervous as I was to tell, I knew it was necessary. When I arrived at Tim's apartment, I did everything as I usually did, and I realized that after I had resolved this whole issue with Chrissie, my concentration had returned to normal, I couldn't help but smile because of it, and it was my smile that gave me away to Roger and Tim.

"All right, Brian, you can stop making a fool of yourself and tell us what it is," Roger said grumpily.

"Is that what I think it is? Tell me that's what I'm thinking." Tim thrilled.

"Okay, okay," I laughed at their anticipated reaction. "I just wanted to tell you that ... to your delight, I ... I got a girlfriend."

"No! You're lying, Bri, it's impossible! You? No ... But come here, really?" Roger tried to play the funny one, but in the end I knew he was happy for me.

"Yeah, seriously, Roger, very serious, so much that I'm going to meet her parents this weekend," I finished, feeling proud.

"Yeah, but who is she? Stop making so much mystery!" Taylor pleaded.

"Rog, who could it be?" Tim folded his arms, rolling his eyes, but at last he smiled "whom Brian wouldn't stop talking about all these days?"

"Chrissie?" Roger finally called. "Chrissie? Dude, she ... I mean, she ..."

"See what you're going to say about my girlfriend," I said, already preparing to defend her.

"No, it's just ..." Taylor paused a bit to think. "She's so quiet and half withdrawn, and you managed to date her, that's cool, seriously, she's a great person, I'm happy for you."

"Really?" I asked, biting my lips, kind of emotional.

"Of course, you dumbhead, I didn't think that was ever going to happen, and it finally happened." He rolled his eyes and gave me a hug. I did not refuse the sincere support of my friend.

"But wait Bri, you said something about the weekend, if you meet Chrissie's parents, we can not book shows for those days, right?" Tim remembered.

"Yeah, I hope you understand Tim," I was a bit afraid of what he would think of that.

"It's okay, Brian, I understand you, just get ready to meet your in-laws, and let to worry about the band later, okay? And congratulations, my friend, Chrissie really is a special girl" and finishing speaking, it was his turn to hug me.

"So much special Tim is, so much!" I didn't care that I was daydreaming about my girlfriend now that my friends knew.

"Just stop making that face, Brian." Roger ripped my face out. "It makes you look like an idiot."

"You're the idiot, you punk!" I showed my tongue at him, then laughed as Tim rolled his eyes.

In the end I knew that all of Roger's childish behavior was a way of showing that he was happy for me. And I was happy for the support of my friends.


	15. The Mullen Family

On Saturday morning, after picking up the three buses needed to reach Maria Assumpta, I was at the door of Chrissie's dormitory. This time, much less nervous as on the day I came to get her to our date, to remember that day still made me smile. But today my nervousness was for another reason, we were going to visit her parents. As we said before, I would find her in her college, from there we would go to the bus station, starting a relatively long journey to the small town of Leeds, where the Mullens lived and Chrissie grew up.

After thinking through all the plans for that day, I knocked on the door to her bedroom, already smiling before even seeing my girlfriend.

"Good morning, Bri," Chrissie greeted me, giving me a beaming smile "are you calmer now?"

"You know this is too hard for me, don't you?" I was sincere, with a shrug.

"Yeah, I know," she nodded, "have you forgotten I'm like that, too?" But don't forget my advice."

"No, I didn't forget," I assured her, and then offered to take her bags.

"You don't have to, Brian." Chrissie stopped me. "You're already taking yours, you can let me carry mine."

"I can carry mine and yours," I offered, sure I would do well in this task.

"No, no, it's fair each one to take our own luggage, okay?" she explained sympathetically.

"Ok" I gave in, I had no way of arguing with Chrissie, especially for something so silly, besides, I would have much bigger worries for later.

Instead of asking more questions about Chrissie's parents, I'd rather hear her tell me about her week. She and Jo had done an essay together, and Chrissie was surprised by some brilliant ideas that her friend had that left the work better. She told me that she had begun to re-read "The Valley of Terror," one of her favorite tales of the Sherlock Holmes stories, and, moreover, she encountered a rare biography of King Henry VII, which made her learned many new things about this particular monarch.

When I noticed it, we had arrived in Leeds. In a peculiar way, it reminded me of Hampton, being small and simple, but Leeds seemed older, remote, and rural, a place Roger would surely call the end of the world. For me, busy and tired college student and musician, it was the perfect place to spend a weekend of peace and quiet.

"Um ... Brian?" Chrissie called after we got off the bus, "Would you mind walking? I promise you it's not too far, but it's also not too close."

"By no means, my ... my dear," I finished, still somewhat unsure how to call her, I found myself an old man calling her my dear, but she didn't think it was bad.

"Then let's go." Chrissie straightened her posture for the walk, encouraging me to follow her.

She took my hand and we walked all the way to her parents' house. Chrissie just let go of my hand to ring the bell. I noticed she was tapping her foot impatiently as we waited for someone to answer. She was as nervous as I was.

"Christine!" the door opened revealing a formally dressed gentleman, he had a look of severity that reminded my father, which was confirmed by calling Chrissie by her full name.

I waited at the edge of the door to finish hugging and greeting her father. Between knowing first the father or the mother, it had to be the father? I was in doubt if I introduced myself, or expected him to speak to me. To my relief, my girlfriend saved me from this agony.

"Well, Daddy, this is Brian May, the respectable, decent, responsible young man I told you about." She looked at me proudly, which moved me.

"I'm glad you came as fast as you could, Mr. May, "said Mr. Mullen, not too angry but very serious "it shows that you really are as responsible as Chrissie commented."

"I am glad to have pleased you, Mr. Mullen" with an unknown courage, I offered my hand to him to shake, which left my father-in-law amazed, but satisfied.

"Where's Mom?" asked Chrissie, scouring the house, missing Mrs. Mullen.

"She went to buy more things, you know what she looks like, she doesn't want anything to be missing while you're here." Mr. Mullen explained his wife's absence.

"In the meantime, I'll unpack then," Chrissie decided.

I would willingly offer to accompany her, but I didn't think it was a good ideia. I just stood there in the living room, staring at my bag, knowing that it wasn't going to unpack it alone, if I kept looking at it. Chrissie seemed to understand me, taking my bag with hers.

"Let Chrissie take care of the luggage, boy," my father-in-law said, "while we wait for my wife, we can talk. There are many things I need to ask you."

"Of course, of course, Mr. Mullen" I understood quite well what he wanted from me, and my answers were practically ready in my head.

"So you're a musician, a guitarist, aren't you?" Mr. Mullen made it clear that he hoped I wouldn't be just a musician "that's how you met Chrissie."

"Yes, sir, I have a band called Smile with my closest friends," I began to explain, "but I'm in the third year of Physics, I'm studying Mathematics, and I plan to study Astrophysics as soon as I can."

"Wow, that's pretty impressive on your resume," said Mr. Mullen again "and once you graduate, what do you want to do?"

I gulped, my hands beginning to sweat. That was the biggest dilemma in my life right now. I loved to play, I loved music, and every once in a while it went through my head if one day we would succeed and I could live on music. But I was very uncertain, I couldn't put all my faith into a musical career. I also had Astrophysics, I had plans to take a doctorate in the area as soon as I could, but still, I knew there were people who could find a doctorate a lot of presumption on my part. And so, I really didn't know what to choose between one thing or another. It only focused on these options one at a time. No one had ever questioned me that way before, no one but myself. That's why I got so scared.

"I ... I mean ... teach, you know?" I improvised what I had thought, which was the more certain of all the options in my mind "I really like to teach, to be a teacher is an extremely stable career, sir."

"That's very good, really great, Brian, but it looks like I scared you, didn't I?" Mr. Mullen crossed his arms, staring at me, not judging, but noticing all my nervousness "don't be like that, my boy, know that I like very much that my daughter's boyfriend thinks about the future."

"Thank you, sir," I said, not out of politeness, but out of relief, out of satisfaction that I had pleased Chrissie's father.

After recovering from that moment of pressure, I finally got to know Mrs. Mullen. She was a cheerful lady, who spoke smiling, with a natural willingness to do everything.

"So this is Brian," she said looking at her daughter for confirmation. "You really look as smart as Chrissie said, welcome to our house, make yourself confortable, and if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask."

"Thank you very much, Mrs. Mullen" I was very comfortable with her way, as she had asked me "since I can ask whatever I need, what I wanted was to talk to you and Mr. Mullen, if possible, right now."

"Oh, boy, it seems very serious what you want to talk with us," said Mrs. Mullen loudly, frowning in concern.

"Calm, Bri, calm down," Chrissie reminded me, speaking softly.

I just looked at her more gently, hoping she would understand the urgency of the conversation and why I was so serious. From the restrained but comforting smile she gave me, I knew she understood.

Her parents sat down at the kitchen table, and we sat right in front of them. The Mullens looked at me expectantly, giving me the chance to start talking right away. I resisted the urge to hide under the table, such was the pressure of their eyes on me.

"Me and Chrissie have been friends for a while, a considerable time" I started at the beginning "and I ... respect and I really, really like your daughter. She's so smart, gentle, sweet, understandable, the person who understands me the most in the world, I dare say, and I'm sure I really want to have the most serious commitment of all with her. Because she's really very special to me. So I came here, humbly asking your permission to date your daughter."

"You're certainly a fine speaker, Mr. May," my father-in-law said, choking, but then he smiled. "I felt the sincerity of your words."

"And you, my dear, you like Brian as much as he likes you?" Mrs. Mullen turned to Chrissie.

"Yes, Mom," my girlfriend agreed, and I saw her wipe a tear from the corner of her right eye.

"Actually," Mr. Mullen, looking thoughtful and a hand on the chin "you've come here as boyfriend and girlfriend, haven't you? If you have already decided this between you, and after all this sincere and serious statement, Mr. May, I don't see why I shouldn't allow your relationship. I'm sure you'll take good care of my daughter."

"It's more than okay with me," laughed Mrs. Mullen "I saw how much my Chrissie is happy near you my boy, and you near her."

"Thank you, thank you." I looked meaningfully at both of them, extremely grateful.

I turned to Chrissie and I would kiss her in celebration if her parents weren't there right in front of us. She understood my thought, summing up the joy of the moment by kissing my cheek.

And after all, I was finally able to relax and feel good in my in-laws' home. We had a quiet dinner and then I heard Chrissie's childhood stories, which she also listened to with shame about certain things. I saw photos of her younger, alone and with her parents. For dessert, we tasted the spongecake that Chrissie assured me was the best in the world while her mother prepared.

"You're the one who should do it Chrissie, it would be nice to do it for your boyfriend," her mother suggested, a little angry with her daughter.

"No, Mother, you know yours is so much better than mine," Chrissie said absently.

"Do you cook? I mean, do you know how to make spongecake? I'd love to experiment" I said that more to encourage my girlfriend.

"No, Brian, not today, please ..." and in that she looked down, folding her arms, fumbling a loose lock of hair behind her ear.

And I realized that I inadvertently touched a delicate subject.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," I said instantly. "You don't have to do anything if you don't want to, do not feel pressured."

"No, no, it's okay." She smiled at me and I calmed down. "Thanks for understanding."

"You're welcome, my darling," I said, and then I realized what I had said, which made Chrissie and her mother smile.

I thought I had finally figured out how to call her, with her approval and everything.

"Now I understand why you chose him, my girl," said Mrs. Mullen for her daughter "never change, Brian."

"I won't, Mrs. Mullen" I smiled sheepishly, but also with joy.

And really, my Chrissie was right. Everything had gone better than I expected.


	16. In Hampton

Me and Chrissie met at Smile's next show, and this time, no matter where we performed, she made effort to be there with us, which made me very grateful and excited. I knew that this night racing routine wasn't part of her daily life, but even so, she sacrificed herself to be with us, with me. It was one more thing I admired so much about Chrissie.

Roger teased me that Chrissie was my girlfriend now, as soon as he saw her, but her response made me very happy.

"Oh no, my dear Rog, I'm very lucky, your friend is a wonderful rarity," Chrissie declared without a shadow of a doubt, which made Roger rather embarrassed.

During those days, we also played at Imperial College and there Chrissie did something else that surprised me, she made sure to kiss me before the show, calling it a kiss of good luck, which was something I ended up creating unintentionally and Chrissie had decided to go ahead, which I didn't think a bad thing at all.

It was then that we decided together that it was time for her to meet my parents, and before we went to Hampton, I had to finally tell my father that I was dating. All the nervousness I felt in telling my friends now had multiplied.

"Hey, Dad, how are you?" I started with the usual "I hope you're okay, I'm sorry for not calling more often, it's because I'm very busy with college and ..."

"With the band, too?" Dad said, half bitter, "as long as it doesn't disturb your studies, that's okay."

"No, it's not disturbing me, I assure you, I care a lot about my grades, and at the moment they're good, and I intend to keep it that way" despite the seriousness, I was calm in conversations about these things "another thing that's been occupying me."

"Oh yes? And what would it be?" I felt my father half angry, already expecting the worst.

In my conscience I knew that I had never done anything to cause a great disappointment to my father, but still, I had the impression that everything different that I did, he would see as something bad. Maybe it was just paranoia of mine, but that was the impression I had.

"I ... I met a girl, a friend of Roger's girlfriend" I started my explanations very carefully "her name is Chrissie, we became friends and I asked her to be my girlfriend, but don't worry, I made a point of asking permission from her parents personally and ... I think now it would be time for you to know."

"What else can you tell me about her?" My father didn't show much joy or disapproval "I need to know, Brian."

"Well, she's lovely, well behaved, responsible, kind, patient, and studying to be a teacher, she devotes herself to her studies, I assure you, and she really cares about me, Dad, really."

"You really like her," Dad laughed, which made me relax. "Come with her as soon as you can, okay?

"I will, thanks for listening to me and wanting to meet her," I finished the call, half awkward but happy to have finally taken that weight off my back.

It was then that as soon as I met Chrissie at The Kensington, before another show, I already warned of my parents' plans.

"We're going the same way we went to Leeds, my parents really wanted to meet you since I told them about us," I told her, excited but worried.

"And I want to meet them, too," Chrissie said, "just as you made a point of meeting my family, I also want to meet your parents. And they didn't ... made any complaints about me, or anything like that?"

"No, of course not, I say only good things about you, and my darling, you don't have any bad thing to talk about" I smiled at her, making sure everything was fine.

"Oh, you embarrass me speaking like that" I saw her cheeks flushed, it always happened when I complimented her, and I always did it because she deserved it, even though she didn't realize her own qualities at times.

"I'm sorry, but it's true." I added and kissed her cheek, which made her look at me gratefully.

Every day I wanted to make Chrissie look at me like that, it was a sign that I reminded her of her own worth.

This time she came to meet me in my apartment before we went to my hometown. I could see Chrissie's curiosity as she looked at the place for the first time.

"You didn't find any dirt, did you?" I was a little worried.

"No, there's no dirt here," she laughed at my cleansing craze. "On the contrary, I'm just admiring your meticulous organization, and your books. And that your house is lovely ..."

"Well, I'm glad you liked it" it was something else I discovered that Chrissie liked, I was glad to find out.

Then there we were commencing our trip to Hampton. Chrissie asked me a lot of questions about the latest Astrophysics summary I made, and I was more than happy to clarify terms she didn't know.

Arriving at my parents' house, I couldn't help but smile. Some of my best memories came from things I lived there. Out of sheer excitement, I walked into the house, enjoying the open door, surely Mom was there.

I walked more, but I felt Chrissie's reluctance.

"It's okay, seriously, it's my home too." I shrugged, hoping she understood. "Mom?"

Chrissie sighed loudly, and I squeezed her hand lightly, reminding her that she wasn't alone.

"You came!" My mother gave me a tight hug, even though it was difficult to reach me because of our height difference.

"I did, we came." I undid the hug to look at my mother and then to Chrissie. "Mom, it's such a pleasure to finally introduce you to my sweet Chrissie."

"Hello, welcome, my girl." My mother squeezed her hand. "It's good to see you, and look how cute, Brian already calls you cute nicknames ..."

"Yeah, he likes it a lot," I heard Chrissie respond a little uncertainly, "not that I don't like it, it's ... great, Mrs. May, really great."

"So cute, how nice that if you really like it, I quickly realized it," my mother continued, which caused us more embarrassment.

After a while, Chrissie managed to smile at my mother's comments.

"She's right," my girlfriend remarked, telling me in her sweet voice.

So I felt that she would be better prepared to meet my father. He appeared in the room a while later, giving me a quick hi to assure me that he had seen me, and then his inquisitive eyes turned to Chrissie.

"Harold May, nice to meet you," he introduced himself politely.

"Christine Mullen, sir," Chrissie said in the same earnestness, much less nervous than she had hoped.

After a while, she ended up talking a lot to my dad. I soon realized his strategy, letting her feel free to get to know her better. And as I was closer to my mother, but the two of us watching the conversation, I heard Chrissie's compliments to me, that I was intelligent, disciplined, respectful, and that I had always been a perfect gentleman to her. So far the conversation went well, the problem was when Dad asked a question not discreet:

"And how are you with my son?" My father dropped the bomb in the air.

"I ... I try to repay all the good he does for me, sir, in the way I manage to do it ..." She barely looked at my father as he answered, hoping the answer pleased him.

"Daddy," I said before he said anything else, "Chrissie is always by my side when I need to, she never denies listening to me, and she understands me, I think she understand me much better than I understand myself. She was already like that before we started to date."

"And I noticed, Brian," my father answered, softer than the way I said it, "and how glad I am you find a girl like Christine."

"Oh, thank you Mr. May, "she said relieved," and by the way, you can call me Chrissie."

"Chrissie, then," agreed my father to my delight.

And in that, they went back to subjects that didn't involve me anymore. Chrissie even laughed at one point, and her laughter made me content, as if I had just fulfilled my mission to unite our families.


	17. Afternoon Date

As soon as Chrissie and I had a free time that coincided with our college career schedule, I wasted no time and invited her for a ride together.

"Sorry Brian," was the first thing she said on the phone, which worried me, "but it's always you who have the idea of going out and I feel like ... at least once I should have this initiative, I think..."

"No, no, don't worry" it was touching the way she thought, she didn't have to care about it, but it was still an important issue for her, so I tried to reassure her "I don't care that you haven't ideas for us to go out, by the way, I know how much you like to stay at home and, to be honest, sometimes I prefer it too. Just accept going out with me when I ask and it's all right. No, wait there, don't accept it when you can't, I'll understand in this case ..."

"I understood you, Brian, you can calm down" I heard her laugh "no problem, I'll accept your ideas first, okay? But can I do something in the middle of it?"

"Sure, you can, tell me what it is," I listened, waiting for her answer.

"I'm going there since you come here much more than I go there, sounds good?" Chrissie said, and then she wanted to argue that it would be bad for her to get out of home and all, but we'd have another dilemma like the one we just solved.

"Yes, agreed, I'll wait, will you come?"I said expectantly, anxiously.

"Yeah, I think so, give me about an hour, I'll see you later, bye Bri." Chrissie said goodbye.

And then I waited for her, in agony and anxiety that made me uneasy, but with each passing minute I was happier because I would soon see her. The knock on the door made me stand up, and I smiled to see Chrissie waiting for me.

"Hi," she said simply, and I cleared the way for her to enter.

"Hi." Only then did I reply, half hesitant to kiss her.

I leaned a little in her direction and she understood my idea, not rejecting me, but kissing me. We were still a little ashamed of it, I never knew if a kiss started by me would embarrass her, but with a little more time together, I could pick up when she felt good about it, which to my delight was most of the time.

"So ... what did you plan for us?" Chrissie asked with a shame, but then she was only curious.

"Um ... well, I hope you like ice cream" I said directly.

"Brian, I think it's impossible for anyone not to like ice cream, and I'm no exception," my girlfriend teased, which was a good sign, that at last she was more at ease.

"That's great!" I said, excited "I found an ice cream shop near here by chance these days and I thought it would be a good place to go together. So you ready?"

"Just waiting for you," smiled Chrissie, which made me smile back.

She offered me her hand and we went out together, letting me guide her to my new favorite place. I discovered that she loved chocolate, and she asked for the biggest cone she could get in my budget, which made me glad she wasn't afraid to eat too much. We sit together to enjoy the moment.

"Thank you for bringing me, Bri," Chrissie said through the spoonfuls, "this ice cream is simply wonderful."

"I'm glad you liked it." I smiled at her enthusiasm and I was happy that our date has worked. "We can come whenever you want."

"No, not always, although I liked it a lot, you have to be free to come too," she explained, continuing to drink the ice cream.

"And I certainly will," I assured her, jokingly, "so, did you finish that book on King Henry VII? I was remembering how excited you were about him, and somehow I was curious, too."

"Oh yes!" Chrissie's eyes lit up as I touched the subject "it's very interesting, but sad."

"Why exactly?" I insisted that she speak more, I knew that she would speak for a long time, and in addition to learning a little more history, I loved to hear Chrissie's voice and to see her excited like that.

"He was a very unlikely heir, and he was at risk for life all his life, because his right to his throne came from his grandmother who had been queen and not heir to the throne," my girlfriend told me, recalling the facts, "but he had right to the throne because his uncle was king, but he had to flee and be isolated until the right time to form an army and return to England arose. Is too confused? Am I boring you?"

"No, not at all, my darling" I assured her of my interest, "go on, please."

"Right, it's because History is not much your thing, but then, after all the War of the Roses conflict all culminated in the conflict between Richard III and Henry Tudor," Chrissie went on, "then the unlikely army won and the Lancasters returned to the throne."

"Wait, is King Richard III the tyrant?" I wanted to confirm.

Uh ... actually, he wasn't that bad," she corrected me gently,"this was Tudor propaganda to make the people forget the York, courtesy of William Shakespeare."

"There's one more thing I learned today, thank you for the historical fact," I said kind of amused.

"But answering your question more exactly," she went on, clearing her throat, "interesting because Henry was unlikely to be king, and he became so, and sad because he grew isolated from his mother and family, and his later years too, were difficult because he lost his wife, whom he loved very much."

"It's amazing how you know of so much ..." I let the compliment escape "you're so smart ..."

"Well, so are you," she blushed and said in a slightly altered voice, "I didn't know anything about Astrophysics."

"I didn't know all this about King Henry VII, it seems we're equally smart" I pondered. "Chrissie, don't feel bad for knowing so much, you are intelligent and brilliant, it's a simple fact."

"I know that," she breathed a little, "to admit it out loud is pure arrogance."

"No, coming from you is not, if there's one thing you're not, it's being arrogant." I used my gentler voice, and then I offered my hand to her over the table, and Chrissie understood and took my hand "you're amazing, just like you are."

I needed to tell her that, it was the truth, which made me love Chrissie more and more. She gave me a look, understanding the sincerity of my words.

"Thank you," she said, movingly, "you're also very amazing."

I just smiled at her, completely overpowered. Though I felt as embarrassing as she, just as Chrissie had agreed to recognize her worth, I did the same to myself.

We continued to meet after the shows and in our spare time, and as much as our relationship was wonderful, and the college, even too busy with it, I could cope well with it, another part of my life was more or less good. Not all of our shows were successful, for a while, a good time, we just had unhappy audience, which ended up giving me Tim and Roger a disheartened feeling, especially Tim, which made me worried. Fortunately, he had decided to keep playing, after all, if there was one thing we all loved, it was music.


	18. Special Words

For a long time, because of my enthusiasm for music and all the excitement it always caused me, I was able to cheer myself up with every new show we did, but I could tell that our audience was getting more and more difficult, and Tim's annoyance with that increased, which ended up infecting me a bit.

I remember once we performed at The Kensington, and he was upset as we finished the show. Soon Chrissie showed her concern, as she always did, and I tried to remain optimistic for the sake of my friends, since now Roger was also unhappy. Unfortunately, I ended up getting upset and confused after all.

Feeling that heavy weather, I decided to get out of that environment, to see if I could clean my head. Automatically, the dilemma of my life came throbbing in my mind. I was dedicating much of my time to the band, never ceasing to study as well, but still, in front of shows that didn't please people, I kept wondering if I shouldn't become a teacher and leave this music thing for good.

I was distracted, agitated by these thoughts, when I saw Chrissie approaching. I regretted making her worried. She ended up giving me a shy hug, wrapping me in her arms as best as she could, I snuggled her closer to me, taking advantage of being alone.

"It's at these times that I wonder if my father is right ..." I told him what was bothering me.

"What about your father?" she asked, a little confused.

"He thinks that being a band guitarist is a waste of time and I should focus on my studies, a real career" it hurt a little to say that out loud "and what happened today .... Well, validate a little my father's opinion."

"But you love to play, you told me that's an important part of your life, and if that's what you like, you should go on, one day your father might understand," Chrissie told me, making me feel a little better.

"I don't know, I don't know if he would accept, or maybe it would be better just to be a scientist" I knew that was what my father always wanted.

It was then that Chrissie broke the embrace and looked at me, very serious, but still, sweet as ever.

"Music and science make you exactly who you are," she declared, "and I ... I love you, just the way you are."

"You ..." I could hardly believe, had she just said she loved me? That was it? I was amazed, because I didn't expect that.

"What?" she was startled by my reaction.

"Sorry to talk like that, but you know how much I observe things, and if I'm not mistaken," I explained quickly what I was thinking, "this is the first time you tell me I love you."

"Well, I ..." she hesitated a little, but didn't look away from me -"I think I just had the courage to say it now, but ... I love you Bri."

I could barely contain my emotion, my whole life I never found it possible to hear those words directed to me, and best of all, they were accompanied by "I love you as you are", even with all my faults and indecisions, I was loved by the girl of my dreams. I had no words to express my happiness, the great emotion wouldn't let me speak, but it drove me to kiss her. I ignored being in public and hoped that Chrissie wouldn't bother about it later, but surely, she knew from this attitude of mine how much I loved her too.

I continued to focus on my studies, and after about a year, I finally graduated in Physics and now I started Astrophysics, to my delight, and to Chrissie's happiness, who congratulated me as soon as I told her I had started the course. So, my life was stabilizing better, I managed to organize my savings enough to get an idea that I expected Chrissie to agree to. I just had to get up the courage to make the proposal and tell her what I thought.

We were in Imperial College after one of the shows, and taking advantage of the fact that I knew the place well, I called Chrissie for a ride, leaving our friends behind.

"That's different," she said, "we always go out together, not that I'm complaining ..."

"I know, I just needed to talk to you alone" I looked at her "it's something I was thinking ..."

"What? Did something serious happen?" And there was Chrissie's usual concern.

"It's not serious," I said, "but it's serious, and your opinion is very important, that is, what you decide will be what I'm going to do."

"Brian, what are you going to do?" she said with a little more energy, so I hurried to tell her.

"You know we have barely seen each other and that, whether you like it or not, I miss you, and I think you feel it too, what I'm trying to say is, I already have an apartment, it's rented, it's not much, but..." I finally got the question "what do you think about us living together?"

"You and me?" repeated Chrissie, half-astonished, "to live together?"

"You don't have to accept Chrissie, only if you want, it would be a solution to the distance and I'm willing to ..." I was afraid she would say no.

"You just took me by surprise," she replied and opined. "It's a big responsibility, it's like we're practically married."

"We do not need to get married now, I mean, we can leave it to plan this a little further, for the moment I can only support both of us and a little apartment" the word "marriage" scared me a bit, so I focused on my present plan.

"And I have plenty of experience living with Jo ..." she said thoughtfully.

Chrissie was quiet for a while, I realized she was considering my request. I let her decide at will.

"And then?" I couldn't wait any longer.

"If I can live with Jo, it won't be difficult to live with you." She made one of her jokes and smiled, her answer better than a simple yes.

"Ah thank you, thank you" without much thought, I kissed her several times on the forehead and cheeks "it will work, you will see."

"Of course it will!" Chrissie agreed with joy.

I waited for Chrissie to organize her belongings and I helped her get everything into the apartment that was now ours. I had packed up my things before to make room for her. All that effort made us weary, which made Chrissie lie down on the couch. Slowly, I sat down next to her, which made her lay her head on my lap. My eyes went automatically to her face, my smile formed at the sight of her. Her eyes glittered, her cheeks brightened by her smile, her loose brown hair falling to my knees. It was the most beautiful sight in the world, of my beloved, and the emotion of the moment, this time, impelled me to say what I felt at one time.

"I love you ..." I whispered to her.

Chrissie laughed, which confused me.

"This is the first time you've told me that," was the reason for the laughter.

"The first of many," I said, quite sure of what I felt for her.

"I love you too," Chrissie said in response "this is..."

"What is this?" I asked, completely delighted.

"I never thought I would live for a moment like this," she told me. "Sometimes I thought that when I felt alone, someone else anywhere in the world who felt alone too would find me and I would find him, and we would complete each other. I had doubts if I would find this person, but now I don't have doubts any more."

"You found me and I found you," she said, her thought beautiful, deep, so much like my ideals, and it was incredible how together we were fulfilling our dreams.

In the silence, I just caressed her head still in my lap, looked at the apartment and then at Chrissie. Definitely now that little place was home, our home.


	19. New Friends

I was so happy that I ended up waking up earlier than Chrissie. She seemed very tired of the moving, not that I wasn't too, but I think she needed to rest more than I did. I got up very carefully not to wake her, and when I checked if she was still sleeping, I ended up spending a few extra moments to admire her. She was curled up, her eyes still tightly closed, her breath gentle, her back slowly rising. Miraculously her hair was lined up, just a thread here and there out of place.

When she shifted a little to settle again, I awoke from my reverie to watch her. We still had a full day ahead of us, however much I wanted to keep watching. I took one last quick glance at my beloved girlfriend and started preparing breakfast. It wasn't long before she woke up.

"Brian," she said, making me turn to her, taking a not so serious but not so relaxed posture, it was our first breakfast together and I wanted everything to work out.

"Good morning, Chrissie," I said, finding myself too formal right away. "Well, I wanted to make breakfast, to make everything ready for you, I know it's not much, but ..."

"No, you know, this is ..." she paused and I worried, "chamomile tea? It's my favorite!"

"That's why I did it ..." I said a little embarrassed.

"Thanks Brian," Chrissie said sweetly, and she kissed my cheek "that's very thoughtful of you, really, everything's just perfect the way you did it."

"Um ... You'll only be able to say that after you prove it" her gratitude made me feel so well that I got to joke.

"So let's do it." Chrissie accepted the joke, then poured herself some tea.

It wasn't long before I realized that Chrissie was already feeling happy at home, studying together, watching TV together, and even when I had a new idea for a song, there she was, watching me work. I loved it when Chrissie did it.

Little by little, that part of my life began to be a part of Chrissie's life as well. I invited her to see some of our rehearsals, which she was reluctant at first, but then came with me. For the shows, she was already a frequent guest, and our fan she was before even dating me and Tim and Roger became her friends.

But at one point or another, the inevitable happened, and Tim's dismay and displeasure made him give up the band at once, which made him try his luck with Humpy Bong. I was upset, but I understood. He wanted bigger and better things, just as Roger and I dreamed too. However, as a by-product of chance, we didn't stay long without a vocalist.

Freddie made quite the first impression on me, it was clear that he was shy, it was a characteristic of me that was easy to notice in others, but at the same time he was very bold, determined to get what he wanted. I think that's what connected me to him instantly, in addition to his amazing talent.

I ended up disturbing my Chrissie's sleep by telling her the news, but she didn't care and showed her enthusiasm to meet our new friend.

"Um ... Freddie, I wanted to call you to go home, if you have nothing to do now, we usually do it after the rehearsals" I proposed to him after one of our first rehearsals together.

"Sure, I can go, yes, it'll be good to find out where you live," he replied with a provocative air that I was getting used to, as if charging me for not having called him before.

I was aware of Chrissie's reaction to meeting Freddie, and it was one of the bests. My Chrissie was always open to people, even being shy, she knew very well how to make someone comfortable, which was commendable, and one of the things I loved about her. She made Freddie so comfortable that soon he ran to the refrigerator with Roger, which made me smile.

But it didn't take long for me to lose my temper with Freddie. We were looking almost desperate for a bass player and no one we found was to his liking.

"I can't believe you did that again ..." I put a hand on my forehead and muttered, as soon as Barry left Roger's apartment taking it the bass and everything, leaving us alone after a warm fight with Freddie.

"He wasn't good enough, besides wanting to change the songs too much," Bulsara replied, full of reason.

"You do that and we barely say anything about it." Roger stood up.

"I do that by trying to get the song to its best, while Barry does it out of self-importance, to want more prominence than we do, and that's not fair," Freddie insisted.

"Look who's talking, you always stand in front of us," Roger continued.

"It's only because I'm the lead singer." Freddie looked at my best friend as if he were a small child.

"And we're without a bassist again, what do we do now?" It was the only thing I thought to say in the midst of the anger.

"Barry made it clear he's not coming back, so we still have to get another one." Freddie shrugged.

"And who's the fault of that?" Roger shot.

"Look, guys, I'm going home," I said in frustration, before we started to fight again.

Roger looked at me and he thought it best to leave me alone, I hoped he and Freddie would understand each other.

My anger was so great that I was almost certain that I didn't want to talk to Freddie anymore. Arriving home on the verge of exploding, I ended up scaring Chrissie. Soon my mind remembered that she had never seen me angry. So I explained the reason for the revolt. As gentle and wise as ever, my dear Chrissie advised me to remain calm and patient for the good of the band, and try to understand Freddie.

So I followed my girlfriend's advise and made peace with him, he was a tough guy, but he was just showing his opinion on things his way, besides, despite the fights, he had already become our friend. O could feel a certain loneliness that he felt inside himself, and I could never abandon someone like that. Without exchanging words, I only gave him a second chance, treating him with more patience. Roger was more relaxed too, so with the three of us in agreement, I was able to continue my hunt for a new bass player.

John had contacted me, I told him I'd be waiting outside the Kensington. I sat, waiting for him, and some time later a guy as hairy and timid as I came towards me.

"You would be Brian May?" he asked.

"That's me." I offered him a hand, which he shook. "Are you John Deacon?"

"Uh, I came because of the test," he explained.

"Sure." I nodded and then explained to him how it would work, he would meet me on the day of the test and I'll take him with me to meet Roger and Freddie, teach one or two of our songs, and he would rehearse with us and if he did well, and Freddie would agree, he'd stay with us.

Then a few days later, we put this plan into practice and felt the difference of John playing with us. He was well into his way of playing, but he knew very well what he was doing, playing his best, sign that he loved music.

We finished playing and we were in expectation. For me and Roger, the decision to let John join the band was unanimous, but we still needed Freddie's approval.

"Look, Deacon, it was impressive, your performance and your silence," Freddie said critically, "which are two great things for us, but who knows in the future, we'll want more of your opinion. So, welcome to Smile, John."

We shook Deaky's hand in spontaneous enthusiasm, which left him half-shy but happy.

In this atmosphere of fraternity, we all went together to my apartment, and Chrissie provided another wonderful thing to happen. I worried her too much about my stress with Freddie and, thinking about it, she had the brilliant idea of making dinner for the four of us. At first, when she insisted that Freddie stay, I didn't quite understand what she was planning, but then I figured out and worked to get her plan right.

I helped Chrissie with dinner and we had a very nice night as friends.

I couldn't be more grateful that my brilliant and thoughtful girlfriend had cared for me, with us. With her gentle, understanding and delicate way, and a little stern when necessary, Chrissie made us realize that even the four of us being so different, we could overcome differences and be friends. I loved her a little more for being that way.


	20. Daily Surprises

That was how I gradually got used to the new band, Freddie and John, until I became attached to them and called them friends, while I was dedicated to college and Chrissie;

Chrissie, who, like me, had her grueling and tiring college routine, and on the most tiring days she'd rather not go to the shows, which I understood very well. When there were evenings without shows, we would always watch a movie that was going on TV with the whole gang, or just the two of us.

We began to watch together "The Shadow of the Tower", a TV show about Henry VII, and I made a point of seeing it with Chrissie, since it was one of her favorite historical characters. Unfortunately, there was an episode that my girlfriend lost half of it. I began to hear a deep breath with the sound of the television. When I realized, there was my Chrissie sleeping soundly, with her head on my lap. It would be very bad to wake her, the poor thing was very tired.

Even though I didn't consider myself so strong, I had the idea of trying to carry her into the bedroom, since I couldn't leave her sleeping on the couch, she would certainly have pain in her back and neck the next day. It was then that I took the risk, lifting her carefully, feeling the muscles in my arms complain a little.

I hardly took a few steps and Chrissie moved in my lap, she made a sudden movement of fright and I almost dropped her. She looked at me wide-eyed, looking down to see where she was. Looking for more security, she wrapped her arms around my neck.

"Brian, what are you doing?" she asked, a little angry.

"You fell asleep and I didn't want to wake you," I said with embarrassment.

"I understand, all right," she calmed down a little, "but don't you think I'm a bit too heavy for you to carry me? You have noodle arms."

"No, I haven't" my tired arms were cheating on me "I can carry you, you hurt my feelings speaking like that."

"Sorry, but I don't want to give you a hard time," she chuckled softly and kissed my cheek. "You can wake me up the next time I fall asleep, I allow you."

"Can I finish carrying you?" I insisted, still stubborn.

"Only this time," she laughed and relaxed into my arms.

The next day, Chrissie had no back pain and I had my arms numb, but I was happy anyway.

We had quiet weekends when we would take the day off just to rest and relax, or go out for a bit, even to look at the stars in Hyde Park, or go to the movies when my budget allowed.

One Sunday morning, I took the time to use my camera, an old gift from my father that had a film full of photos of my friends, our concerts and of course Chrissie, which I always asked for permission to take, and she was reluctant to accept, but then she didn't think it was so bad.

She sat silently next to me as I adjusted the camera, glanced at it, concentrated at work, but distracted and delighted by her presence. Her look at me was pure admiration, and I felt embarrassed by it. If there was one thing Chrissie cared about, it was just me, who was scared to talk to girls when I was younger, who was quiet and awkward, and yet she loved me.

Taking advantage of her distraction, I took a picture of the moment. Looking at Chrissie again, she had a confused expression on her face.

"Sorry to ask, Bri, but you took a picture of me, right now?" She crossed her arms, dangerously.

"It's that ... Well, I, you know how I usually take pictures, I record the natural moments that catch my attention," I tried to explain.

"No, cut out that photographer's talk and answer my question." She wasn't angry, but her tone startled me.

"Yes, I did took a picture of you" I said "I apologized for that, but I couldn't help it, it was a perfect moment."

"Okay, I just ..." She looked down, blushing. "I was surprised."

"Sorry for the fright, but I love taking pictures of you," I finally confessed.

"I know, but I don't know what to answer, except ... You always flatter me, Brian." Chrissie looked back at me.

And there was her insecurity again, disturbing her to see for herself why I loved her so much. I understood her, because sometimes I thought so too. I thought the best answer to all this.

"I love you, Chrissie, so much, just as you are." I approached slowly, which made her do the same.

"I love you you too very much," she said with a smile, and I reassured her so much that she could kiss me, I felt it was out of gratitude.

It became a habit for me to take photos unseen by Chrissie.

A little later, our group grew a little bit with Mary and Veronica. I knew Mary from the store where she worked, and we went out together once, but we became friends. Veronica, John's girlfriend, slowly tuned in, since she was shy as we were, she was kind and intelligent, and a band enthusiast.

Speaking in the band, Freddie was taking over various things about it. One night, he dragged us all to Roger's apartment, showing his innovations to further captivate audiences. I had already thought our clothes for the concerts weird, and I died of embarrassment when he told me to stop smoothing my hair.

When I was a teenager, my straight, lined hair began to curl up and as much as I tried to make it smooth and long as the fashion of the day dictated, the more it shivered. Chrissie knew this because of some pictures of me that my parents showed her, however, she supported Freddie in this idea of natural hair.

"Even you, Chrissie?" I complained a little.

"I love you anyway," she assured me and encouraged it.

For the sake of the band, I stopped smoothing my hair, which made me uneasy to see it slowly return to its natural state. It was then one fine day that I looked in the mirror and barely recognized myself. My long and thin face framed by an endless rebel hair. I frowned at my new appearance. It was then that when Chrissie saw me that way, she stared at me for a long time, and I was afraid that she was thinking I was horrible.

"I didn't know you could be any more handsome," she told me, her cheeks flushing.

I ended up feeling very happy, Chrissie loved my curls, so I could make an effort to accept them.

It was then that Queen started to be in the road. Freddie was right about his changes because our popularity really increased after we changed the look and the name of the band, making us have concerts all over the country. I loved being with my friends making music, but my heart always tightened when I missed Chrissie when I and the guys were away.


	21. Considerations

The change in the band's name greatly impacted me, and once we made the decision, or rather we accepted the change that Freddie imposed, calling us Queen, the four of us began to notice that perhaps we had more opportunities to fulfill our old dream of working with music.

But for now, however much I had doubts and yearnings, I was still a common guy, thinking of the present needs, and that's how I became a math teacher. With more of that responsibility, my routine was getting more and more busy. It was common for me to get home from school and have to get ready for a show.

On such a day I would lose all patience with my hair, but then Chrissie would offer herself to comb it, which I gladly accepted, being able to be quick and careful at the same time.

After so many shows and repercussions, Freddie convinced us to another bold plan. Our friend had the brilliant idea of renting a studio to record our songs in order to find a manager who liked our demos. It was another thing that divided me, I really wanted to try our chance, but I was afraid. However, I always had as plan B to be a teacher, since after all, I didn't think it was bad to teach.

Entering the four in agreement, we began recording marathons, spending dawns and our sleep, not only ourselves but Chrissie, Mary and Veronica accompanying us, and I always thanked my girlfriend for her support.

Even in the midst of fatigue, it was gratifying to hear our songs in an official, almost professional version. I was proud of myself and my friends. Now it was time to wait and see what was going to happen. Between our rehearsals, we always spent the most peaceful evenings together, watching a movie, laughing and talking, and most of the time these meetings took place in my Chrissie's and apartment and I confess that when these meetings began, I began to get a little worried about the mess that the folks would leave behind without arranging (mainly Roger and Freddie), but John, Mary and Veronica always volunteered to help to clear everything. Until I got to the point where I didn't care about the mess, having my house full of real friends was a wonderful reward, another thing I thought was hard to get in my life.

Thinking of my impossibilities, Freddie had accidentally touched on a subject that made me very embarrassed. Being irreverent as only he can be, he called Chrissie Mrs. May joking, but I felt the impact of it otherwise. I've always been a serious, responsible guy, if I had made a dating commitment with Chrissie, it was because deep down, I intended to marry her one day, but not so soon, I thought I wasn't quite ready for it yet.

 A marriage was a commitment for a lifetime, I always believed in that, mirroring myself in my parents' relationship, and for me, every day, it became clearer that I wanted Chrissie in my life forever. However, in practice, getting married required resources, a financial stability that I hadn't yet achieved, which I was trying to achieve. But after Freddie brought that up, I began to consider him even more. I kept that thought to myself for the time being, but I felt the need to clarify it to Chrissie, after all I didn't know if she was already expecting me to propose to her.

We entered into an agreement that was still too early, that we could expect to have more resources, since I wanted to make sure that I could support myself and her with more comfort and security. I was very relieved that my Chrissie understood me.

Another year in my life since I was with Chrissie was over, and near Christmas, my parents told us that they would come to visit us for the holidays, which made me happy, and so did she, as far as I could see.

"How nice of them to come, there are so many places here that I wanted to show them, as much as I liked Hampton, I wanted to reciprocate all their hospitality, we could shop together." Chrissie began to plan my parents' schedules in London.

"But you hate shopping, that kind of shopping, I mean" I had to remind her as I laughed "would you do that for my parents?"

"Of course, you may not believe it." Chrissie put her hands on her waist. "But I really feel like the three of us got along, though your father scared me at first."

"Yeah, I know, but hew's not always like that, he was always serious, but he was more relaxed when I was a kid," I told her.

"Maybe it's the worry about seeing his son growing up, it's typical for a father and a mother," she reflected. "My parents are like that too, you saw it."

"That's right, I feel that too, but I'm glad you're already so comfortable with them," I finished, giving her a smile.

"Um, well," said Chrissie, "it's in my plans to make spongecake for dessert, oh, and over dinner, I intend to do it modestly, but exquisite."

"Oh, thanks for the good sense, my love," I was glad Chrissie was concerned about saving, "and thank you for finally making your sponge cake again."

To this day, she had only made her famous dessert that she learned to make with her mother very seldom, always using the same excuse that she always thought hers was never as good as her mother's. I've noticed this insecurity ever since I met her parents, so I decided to leave her at ease about it. That was how Chrissie decided to do it once, and as soon as I tried it, I knew it would be my favorite dessert from now on, not only because it was delicious, but because my sweetheart made it.

So we prepared for my parents' visit. It was with great pleasure and pride in my work that I was able to pay for a cab to pick them up and I waited for them at home with Chrissie.

"Hi son, here we are," Mom smiled at me as I carried her bags.

My father gave me a quick hug and helped me carry the rest of my luggage.

"Good morning, Mrs. May" I heard Chrissie greeting my mother, joyfully receiving them.

"How are you my darling?" said Mama "how good it is to see you again. How are you?"

"I'm good, we're good, aren't we, Bri?" replied my girlfriend, "very nice, and you, Mr. May?"

"Oh, a little tired, my dear." My father was kind to Chrissie. "If you don't mind, I'd like to rest a while before we talk."

"Sure, over here, I've packed everything for you." She led him to our room, which we decided to give way to my parents.

"Thank you, Chrissie." Dad thanked her and went with her.

"He's really old," Mom teased far from my father's ears, which made me smile.

I let Chrissie handle the dinner alone, she demanded that she'd take care of everything, willing to please my parents, but without feeling pressured, she was doing it out of love and devotion to them. Seeing her getting on so well with my family and being so sure made me happy.

Both my parents and we had the habit of sleeping early, and that night, no matter how agitated it was with the four of us talking, it was no different. Due to fatigue, we soon retired. Chrissie and I settled on the sofa in the living room, and as I searched for a comfortable position, I grimaced at the sound of the loose springs.

"Damn it, Roger!" I complained irritably.

"Okay, calm down, my love." Chrissie laughed, but was amazed at my sudden bad mood "what does Roger have to do with it?"

"He thrown himself so much here, he broke the sofa," I explained.

"Well, at least the sofa is still standing and we can still sit on it," she sounded unconcerned. "I've gotten used to Rog's way ... Now just try to sleep, okay?"

She finished speaking with a yawn, and I saw that we were both tired. I just closed my eyes, waiting for sleep to come, glad to have my Chrissie by my side.


	22. At the end of the year

It wasn't long before Chrissie put her practice plans into practice for my parents, starting by making breakfast. This task used to be mine, but I really let her do everything in her way.

When I woke up that morning, my eyes still half closed with sleep, I had a glimpse of my girlfriend's silhouette walking back and forth in the kitchen, which I could see myself lying on the sofa. As I awoke completely, I heard Chrissie talking to my mother. I wondered where my father would be.

I got up early, getting ready for the day, meeting Mom and Chrissie in the kitchen.

"Good morning, son, I hope you slept well, despite your accommodations." Mom seemed worried that I slept on the couch.

"No, Mom, don't worry, I slept better than I expected, I rested well in these days off," I said to her. "Where's Daddy?"

"He ... He preferred to read the newspaper there in the bedroom, he bought some on the way here, you know how he is with his morning readings," my mother told us, "he thought it would be disrespectful to read at the breakfast table, but he's coming soon."

Dad's behaviour didn't surprise me, already accustomed to his habits, but it made Chrissie a little startled.

"Well, let's leave Sir Harold with his formalities, I don't mind waiting, after all he doesn't want to be disrespectful "that's what my girlfriend decided about it.

I couldn't help laughing at how she'd called my father.

"Did you say Sir Harold?" I asked, amused by his nickname.

"Oh, I hope you don't mind," Chrissie said suddenly, "Mr. May is always so formal and serious, which reminds me of an old and noble gentleman, there's where the ideia came from. But don't worry, I won't call him that, well, at least in front of him."

"I think Harold will be flattered," my mother said, "is the perfect nickname for someone like him."

"That's good", my girlfriend ended up giving a smile of relief and amusement.

Eventually, my dad finished his reading and we ate the meal together. Chrissie said she wanted to go with my parents for a walk to Hyde Park and then take advantage to go to the mall a few blocks away. This time, she could buy one more thing or another, since she was working now.

"You're coming with us, aren't you, Bri?" Chrissie was expecting, and that was a little strange for me, because it was usually me who convinced her to leave the house.

"Yes, I will," I said, which pleased her greatly.

So she guided us into Hyde Park, which I found curious and funny, since I had shown the park to her first.

"And there was where the Great Exhibition of 1851, idealized by Prince Albert took place," she indicated the large area that was now empty "it brought industrial advances from all over the world and placed them in the Crystal Palace, after the exhibition, the palace had been disassembled, so it's no longer here."

"Impressive how you know so much of history," my father praised, "but numbers have always been more of our thing, isn't it, Brian?"

"Yes, Chrissie understands so much of things I didn't even know." I smiled at her and saw her blush. I gave her a look to remind her that there was no problem showing off her intelligence.

"Funny how this prince reminds me of you, son," Mom said, and now I was embarrassed.

"I agree, Mrs. May" Chrissie looked at me affectionately, making me grateful "Prince Albert was very intelligent and interested in art and science, I confess that when I met Brian, he remembered of Albert a bit."

"Well, I hope you're not disappointed that I'm not a prince," I teased.

"You may not have royal blood, Brian Harold May, but surely you are my prince." She gave me a mischievous smile and a kiss on the cheek.

Her statement warmed my heart and I would kiss her, if we weren't in front of my parents.

When we finished the tour in Hyde Park, we went to the mall, where we bought mostly books and cheap Christmas ornaments. Basically angels, stars, and socks to hang on the doorframe. At the front door, we had an old garland.

Returning home, Chrissie returned to her chores in the kitchen, making afternoon tea until dinnertime came.

"Bri" she called me and I got up straight away "Roger will come, won't he? He still didn't say anything, I really hope he comes, your parents don't mind him coming to dinner, too, don't they?"

"No, of course not." I shrugged. "My parents know Roger, the other times they came to see me, I know exactly why you're worried, and they're already used to him, trust me."

"I trust, all right then." Chrissie let out a tired sigh.

"You could stop for a little rest," I told her.

"No, not now, I can't now, but I promise I'll go, I have to finish everything first," she explained, without losing her energy and giving in.

Her dedication to me and my parents impressed me, and I was grateful that Chrissie was like that. That was when Christmas night came, and after all the work with dinner, my girlfriend finally sat down for a while, and all she had to do was wait for Roger to arrive. It was our tradition, since he had arrived in London, to spend Christmas together when we didn't return to our hometowns to spend the day with our family, and since this year he stayed in London, he would stay with us.

I was glad my old friend was relatively punctual and tidy for a Christmas dinner.

"Hi, Chrissie, Merry Christmas," I heard him say hello to my girlfriend.

"Merry Christmas, Roger," she said enthusiastically, "come in, dinner is ready"

"That's awesome, Chrissie, I'm really starving" my friend was coming in unceremoniously.

"You don't change ever" it was my hi to him "please behave, my parents are here."

"Chrissie warned me earlier, I won't talk about any forbidden subjects, it's Christmas, Bri, relax a little" in that he patted my shoulder, which made me roll my eyes.

He was a perfect gentleman wishing good night and happy Christmas to my parents, and I was relieved. So Chrissie set the table, but she made a face that said we weren't allowed to serve yet.

"Um ... first of all" she started her speech, dodging shyness "if you don't mind, I wanted to thank you for your presence here and in my life, it's very gratifying and special for me to spend this Christmas together. And, modesty aside, I hope dinner is to your liking, I did it with all my love, really. That's it, I'll stop talking, and let you eat. Merry Christmas, guys!"

She laughed and sat next to me, and I thought at that moment, that she was the sweetest creature in the world, so cute, but so formal and intelligent, as a sweet lady. Chrissie poured herself into it, unconcerned, just having dinner, not suspecting that by her simple gestures I had increased my certainty of marrying her.

Roger ended up leaving not too late, my friend was worried about the chill he still had to face out there, that it would be a lot worse if he left later, and so soon my parents, me and Chrissie went to sleep.

"It was a good night, thank you for everything," I whispered to her after we lay down.

"Well, I wasn't the only one responsible for that," Chrissie replied in the same low tone, "I just made dinner, everyone's company helped with that too, but thanks for your thanks."

"Merry Christmas, sweet lady," I turned to look at her.

"Oh, that's new," I saw her cheeks flushed, "but I enjoyed it, Merry Christmas Bri, good night."

I hugged her closer to me, then fell asleep with a smile on my lips.

During that week, we received more visits than we honestly weren't expecting. Not that John and Freddie didn't care about me and Chrissie, we were all friends and we took care of each other, I was just surprised the two of them came, because it was the end of the year season and I thought they would be with their families, but still, they had a little time to visit us.

Freddie was the first to arrive, carrying some packages in his hands. I soon realized they were gifts to us and I felt dull. Like us, he also faced certain difficulties when it came to money, although he still worked at Heathrow.

"Don't make that face, Brian, the money I spent won't be needed, I assure you," Freddie said, already entering the apartment.

"I didn't say anything," I tried to justify myself.

"No need, I know you only by looking," said my friend, "just accept it, Brian, a thank you so much from you would be enough";

"Freddie, I knew it was you." My Chrissie came into the room and greeted him. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I came to wish you a Merry Christmas, even late, and help me persuade your boyfriend to accept the gifts I brought, don't start with " you didn't need to " he said, half impatiently, as he usually did.

"Okay, okay," Chrissie laughed, "thank you for remembering us."

Me and Chrissie sat down to open the presents, mine was a snow globe, with Big Ben in the middle. It was simple, but I liked it, it reminded me of the home I had built in London, thanks to my friends and girlfriend. She was more impressed with the present. It was a lavender sweater, well in the style she used to wear.

"It wasn't expensive, was it?" she asked, inspecting the cloth.

"Seriously, it wasn't," Freddie assured him, "I wouldn't spend anything outside of what I can."

"Thank you." Chrissie understood that he wouldn't accept it any more if she insisted on it and only hugged him gratefully.

"You're welcome and thank you for the company," Freddie smiled at us. "I have to go."

"So soon? You just arrived" I was surprised at his haste.

"I'm still going to see Roger and John," Freddie said, and I understood him, glad he remembered our friends.

Before he left, my parents came into the room and it was inevitable that I introduce them to Freddie. I had never stopped to think about what it would be like if my parents knew the other members of the band, I was still afraid of what they would think of these other young people who also "lost some of their time with music", as my father would say.

"Freddie, these are my father and my mother," I said quickly. "Mom, Dad, this is my friend Freddie, the one who joined the band."

"Pleasure to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. May" Freddie was polite to them and unusually timid, he was shy, but sometimes, because he was always more comfortable with us, he forgot about it.

Nice to meet you too, young man," said my father, always being cordial.

"Thank you, sir," my friend replied, and he turned to me. "Brian, I have to go, see you later?"

"Of course," I nodded, and he said good-bye to everyone again, leaving quickly.

"He's different from how you described him," Mom said later.

"Freddie is more timid than he likes to admit," Chrissie explained, and my mother understood.

After Freddie's quick appearance, John and Veronica also came.

"I made apple pie and I thought of you, Chrissie," said our friend, "I know how much you like, there's some left over and I made a point of bringing it, I hope you don't mind being our Christmas present to you."

"No, not at all" my girlfriend reassured her- "only your friendship is enough as a gift".

"I'm glad you think so, Chrissie, because you couldn't buy presents this year," John joked, but it was sincere.

Chrissie invited them to have tea with us and that's how I also introduced John and Veronica to my parents. It was incredible how Deaky was more comfortable with my father than Freddie, but that was explicable, since they were both engineers, even though it was a few years before John graduated. My mother became distracted in a conversation with the girls, about what she had found of London this year.

Veronica and John said goodbye before the end of the afternoon and to my relief, I had the feeling that my parents approved of my friends and I was even more grateful that Freddie and John didn't mention anything about the band. I was still afraid of what my father would think of me still insisting on this music thing, even though I continued to study Astrophysics and teach.

At the moment, I was happy to have so many special people in my life, celebrating the closing of a year that, despite such rush, had been wonderful because of each one of them.


	23. What friends are for

So the year was over and with its passing, my parents went home and I went back to my old routine, study, play, teach, talk to my girlfriend about various things, except marriage. Not because I wasn't interested in it, just the opposite. Every day I was more certain that it was exactly what I wanted, I just couldn't scare Chrissie, and I still found our resources precarious.

It was then that the beginning of a great change in our lives came. We've been taking the year dealing with shows everywhere, mostly universities, until Freddie's plan worked out. We would have a chance at showbiz thanks to the demos we recorded. At first it was hard to believe that something so remote to me could and was about to happen.

I've tried to deal with it in the best way possible, but something impossible to control is nervousness. On the appointed day of our meeting with John Reid, I woke up worried. It took me some time that I didn't use to take with me deciding what to wear. Looking at me in the mirror, checking as I was, I came across my hair and smiled. Despite some people's bad taste jokes, I had now gotten used to it and started liking it like that.

"How do I look?" I asked Chrissie, just before leaving.

"Nervous, but that's not what you asked me," she said with sincerity, but lightness, "a well-behaved rockstar."

"And that's good for the band's image? To guarantee our chance to have a contract?" I got more nervous.

"Bri, relax, it's going to be all right, just keep the faith you always have and inspire confidence," Chrissie added, believing me how I should believe in our endeavor.

"Yeah, right." I tried to relax and felt more confident, following her advice. "I'll go then."

Before I left, she kissed me several times all over my face and finally on my lips. I was happy, but somewhat embarrassed, and confused, even knowing that Chrissie loved me.

"Lots of good luck kisses, for much more luck," she clarified as she laughed.

I laughed, being glad of her intention and affection, hearing her declare that she loved me once more as I made my way to the meeting, I answered her with the same words and the same feeling.

Me, Freddie, Roger, and John stared at the most serious job interview in our lives, as much as it had a touch of fun. After proposals and discussions of clauses, we finally signed the documents, being the newest contractors of EMI Records. I was glowing on the way home, the four of us were, but I had one more reason for it.

We decided the repertoire and started rehearsing, organizing what would be the final version of songs that Freddie and I wrote, even collaborating on some of them, completing each other's work, coming to terms in a way that I didn't think was possible until recently. By understanding ourselves, I finally understood that now we were truly friends. And speaking to friends, it was during the recordings of our first record that they noticed my atypical distraction.

Not that I was distracted when I played, but during the intervals I was quiet and thoughtful, as if immersed in my own world in my head.

"Brian, is everything okay?" I heard John speak worriedly, looking at me confused.

"Hey, don't worry, Deaky, if there's one thing Bri is, it's distracted," Roger teased and I rolled my eyes.

"I don't know if I can agree Rog, Brian is the most attentive and demanding of us all, being distracted doesn't suit him, at least when it comes to music," Freddie added.

"Thank you for defending me," I said directly to him, "but just between us, you're the most demanding of the four of us."

"Oi! Cut this crap to divert the subject to me, we're talking about you, spit it out at once what's distracting you" Freddie folded his arms in front of me, all fussy, as I'd just said.

"Guys, I ..." I was ashamed, running my hand over my face, looking down, being still for a while.

"Look Brian, if you don't talk, I'll ask Chrissie," Roger threatened, and I was scared, seeing that I had no choice but to confess my plans to them.

"Okay, no panic or pressure, no fuss," I almost said surrendered, which gave rise to a confused face from my three friends, "is that I have seriously considered to propose to Chrissie."

"Oh ..." John murmured.

"Yes!" Freddie celebrated.

"Dude ..." Roger was startled, but then he laughed.

"Really? That's very good, Brian, we're happy for you," Freddie resumed, patting my shoulder in support, "and what are you going to do?"

"What ... what do you mean?" I was surprised by my stuttering "I'm going to wait for a moment alone, I'll explain to her everything I feel and why I want to spend the rest of my life with her and ask her if she wants to marry me."

"Very practical," John pointed out, as if it were a bad thing.

"And nothing romantic," Freddie complained,"it can't be that simple."

"Ah, but what do you want me to do?" I didn't understand what they wanted.

"Brian, you really love Chrissie, that's a fact" to my surprise, Roger began to explain "you don't take your eyes off her, you're always holding hands, you don't miss the chance to kiss her, even if it's discreet and half hidden because you two are shy, in addition to all this disgusting cuteness you keep calling her "my Chrissie", "my darling" "honey" and the worst of all in this case "sweet lady".

"Oh Roger, nicknames are cute," John defended me, "but there's one thing you're right about, it's all a sign of how much Chrissie is special to Bri, and that's why she deserves a more elaborate proposal."

"That's right, my dear Deaky!" Freddie pointed at him and then at me "Chrissie is important to us too and we want it to be a very special moment for her."

"I'm getting scared ..." I confessed, after just listening to their opinion.

"Nothing to fear, Brian, seriously, trust me," our vocalist said with sparkling eyes, "what do you think of proposing after one of our shows?"

"After the show, after everyone's gone, right?" "I knew he would say no, but I didn't think it would hurt to ask.

"Of course not," he frowned. "It has to be in front of everyone, for her to see how much she is loved and for everyone to know that she is very important to you, and not forget that day, ever!"

"Freddie, I'm sorry," I finally blurted out, "but something like that would scare Chrissie, you know how shy she is ..."

"But maybe she'll forgive you for understanding that you did it out of love." John supported Freddie's idea.

"Look, I'll think about the idea of you guys, okay?" I sighed, a little overwhelmed by so many suggestions "but thank you for supporting me."

"Of course we're supportive of you, dummie, you and Chrissie were born to each other." Roger gave her mischievous smile that became more sincere.

So I relaxed a little, finally telling my big secret to someone. The problem was that I wasn't too willing to give in to the boys' idea. For me, all I needed was me, my Chrissie, and her yes.

We continued focusing on the recordings, and then at the end of it, the album began to be produced and mixed. When we didn't talk about music, the band and the publicity work, Deaky, Roger and Freddie still insisted on this idea of asking Chrissie to marry me in front of our audience.

"Good, I said I was thinking and I still am and look ..." I took a deep breath, when we were all in a rehearsal interval for the upcoming shows on the album "honestly, I don't want to do it, not like that ..."

"Oh, Brian, you said you'd think, seriously, Chrissie deserves something memorable!" insisted Freddie.

"But I already said she' shy! "I tried not to scream, but it was kind of impossible "you know, I'm going to ask her to marry me today, once I get home, so we close this matter once and for all!"

"Okay, calm down, Brian, please," John said, noting my behavior.

"Sorry guys, but I appreciate your concern, but ..." I returned to calm but was still angry "it's a very personal thing, so you should let me decide, okay?"

"Right, hotheaded, no one ever talks about it," Roger suggested, and John and Freddie were silent for a while.

I was still annoyed when I left, and I was in Roger's company when he asked how I would propose.

"What am I going to do? You'll see now how I'm going to do it!" I shouted to him and ran to the door of my apartment, but my friend managed to stop me.

"Brian, control yourself, you're not like that, think a little better, you're very angry, are you really going to talk to Chrissie in that state?" he argued and I had to give him reason.

"No, no." I shook my head. "Look, I also have this idea to propose in Hampton, on the beach ..."

"It's as good as ours," Roger said, "but stay calm, man."

I took a deep breath and entered the house, with Roger following me, and Chrissie noticed that we were slightly shaken. However, she avoided commenting on this by letting me know that my parents had invited us to Hampton. Maybe it was my chance to resolve this matter of the propose once and for all.

"Bri, since you're going to Hampton" Roger announced loudly and then in my ear, "don't propose there, wait for the show, please, man."

This whisper only heightened Chrissie's mistrust and Roger tried to mislead my girlfriend, which didn't convince her at all. I tried to deflect the subject, and she didn't insist, but I know how suspicious and worried she was.

We accepted the invitation from my parents and went to Hampton. At one point I took Chrissie to the beach for a walk. We stopped and sat in a deep silence to watch the sea, just enjoying the calm and tranquility so rare to us.

For me, it was the perfect time to proposal, the place was wonderful, special, for me and for her, I was feeling calm, there was no reason to not ask her to marry me there. So close to Chrissie, I admired her in silence for a moment, feeling inside me all the confirmations that she was the love of my life.

"What is it?" She smiled, wondering, and I felt she already thought me weird for staring at her like that.

I was still thinking about the proposal, how and where I would do it, it seemed that if I opened my mouth and said something about marriage, I heard the voices of John, Freddie and Roger in my head, complaining that I was a dumb that I should do the proposal as they sugested because Chrissie deserved it, after all, she was the girl of my dreams. That's how I decided to agree to their plan.

"I love you," I sighed, summing up everything I was feeling.

"I love you too," Chrissie said, and kissed me.

It was more than decided that when we returned to London, I would put into practice my plan to propose to her, in the extravagant but meaningful style of my friends.


	24. The Proposal

When our rehearsals were over, another important step in this professional musician thing has started for us. The shows to publicize the album we recorded, called simply "Queen", took place in concert halls, which was quite different from what we were used to.

At first, bigger stages made me feel dizzy, I wasn't used to all that extra space, but having Freddie as our leader and showman, enjoying every corner of the stage with more freedom, I tried to follow his attitude as an example to get used to this detail.

We had a meeting with John Reid, setting the agenda for the week, and to my surprise, we had a show marked at the Imperial College auditorium.

"This is God and your beloved universe conspiring in your favor, my friend," Freddie said after we learned of it.

"Why...?" I murmured, completely confused.

"The proposal to Chrissie, Brian," John explained patiently, "if you still want to follow our idea."

"I ... I was already thinking about it, and you won" I raised my hands to emphasize "I love Chrissie very much and I want to make a special proposal, and despite my reservations about your idea, I admit that it is a good idea."

"Oh, man! It's gonna be awesome!" Roger gave me an exaggerated slap on my shoulder, which hurt a little, and made me scowl about it.

"So you're going to do it after the show at Imperial College?" Freddie wanted to know "it has to be there, it's also a special place for you, isn't it? We just need to figure it out exactly how it's going to happen."

"Yes, yes, I agree" I got carried away with them "you always end the shows Freddie, so, before we play "God save the Queen", you give me the word. I'm going to ask Chrissie to go up on stage, oh my God, I hope she'll come up ..."

"She's going to" said Roger, "continues with the plan."

"Okay, I'm going to make the proposal and I hope she accepts it," I sighed, catching my breath. "Yeah, it sounds simpler than I thought."

"Simple taking the fact that it will be unforgettable." Freddie smiled, pleased with the plan.

So, in addition to preparing for more shows, we prepared for our secret plan, and I, should be a bit more ready than my friends. While Chrissie was working, I tried to pick out the words I would use when proposing and how I would say it, always training to make sure I spoke everything correctly.

I tried to look calm and quiet on the day of the show, I cooked breakfast and shared it with Chrissie, I said goodbye to her when she went to work, I trained my soles for the night, we had lunch together in a cafeteria near her work, I went home, finishing some details for the show, and finally, in the early evening, it was time to get ready to go to Imperial College, do a show with Queen and ask my girlfriend to marry me.

Inside the Red Special case, I took the box with the engagement ring, which I used the first profits of our contract to buy, with much effort and great pride in that achievement. I checked if it was still there and put it back in place, I would only get it out of there at the right time. A little later, I got ready for the show and waited for Chrissie to go together. It seemed that her subconscious had warned her that it would be a special night, or it was just my passionate gaze emphasizing her natural beauty, or both, but my Chrissie looked beautiful, dressed for the occasion. The light green dress of the sleeves that went up to the elbows, the comfortable heels, and her hair loose as always, but impeccably combed. To top it all, her gaze was full of affection and admiration for me. I was sure she knew I was looking at her the same way.

"You're so ... beautiful ..." I ended up sighing, moving closer to her, holding her face in my hands.

"I didn't do anything much, Brian, I'm as I always am" I saw her feel a little embarrassing "but thank you my love, you're also very handsome. Sorry to cut the compliments, but shall we go?"

"Of course," I laughed and kissed her forehead.

We left the house and felt the nervousness increase, by the show, but more for the proposal. How I wanted everything to go well ... And I know it would, I just had to follow the plan. When we arrived in the auditorium, we separated, had to go and prepare for the show. Chrissie was already well settled when I walked away to go to the backstage, I smiled as I looked at her again, as always, delighted and grateful that she was there.

Before I changed to wear the costume, I checked that the pants I had chosen had pockets, since most of the pants I wore while I played had no pockets. The one I would wear that night had, and more than quickly after I changed, I took the ring and put it in my pocket. After looking at me in the mirror, checking as I was, I thought myself ready for my double mission.

"It's going to be all right, Brian, you'll see," Roger consoled me "just be you, in the way you love her, Chrissie loves you, just the way you are."

"Thanks, Rog," I smiled at him.

We were so different, but even so we got along and understood each other, and whenever I needed to, there he was with his extroverted way cheering me up.

"Just recap, Brian." Freddie turned to me. "I'm going to say you want to say something, and then it's with you, lad, and no pessimism! Worry is part of it, but you can do it."

John just nodded, and even without words, I felt his support. It was good that Deaky didn't say anything because a few moments later, Chrissie came to say hi.

"Everything is all right, boys?" she talked to my friends, and I felt my stomach turn with anxiety "I just came to wish good luck and a good show for you."

The three of them murmured their thank you as she came toward me. Suddenly, my breath was a little choppy, I seemed to be short of breath, I took a deep breath.

"It's going to be all right, just play with your heart, as you always do" my girlfriend told me, she thought I was nervous about the show, which was true too.

"I will," I managed to answer, looking at her, only wondering when it would be time to tell what I'd been saving for so long.

"Is something wrong, Bri?" she said worriedly, and I felt guilty, it wasn't the first time that Chrissie was suspicious with me, she hardly knew that all this was precisely because of her.

"Nothing, nothing at all," I said in a very bad way, distracting myself with Roger in front of me, still encouraging me in silence, "I'll see you later."

I don't know if I could sit still or think of something else to distract her, I only had another alternative, I kissed her before she asked me anything else.

"My good-luck kiss," I said blandly when I saw the confusion on her face.

"Of course, right," Chrissie agreed at the moment. "Good luck, then, the show's about to start, right?" I'd better get back to my place."

She smiled at us before leaving, and I sighed in relief.

"That was close," John commented, "yeah, my friend, you have to make this proposal today or you'll have a heart attack."

"You're right, John," I had to agree with the bassist, that was how I was feeling.

A stage assistant came calling us and we headed to the stage. As I walked, I tapped my pocket, making sure the ring was still there. After the smoke and the spotlight, the show finally started with Freddie starting at the piano, and I got into the song when it was my turn, soon John and Roger joined us, and in the choruses we would join together to do the chorus. So, one by one we presented the album's songs, as my Chrissie advised me, I played with my heart, concentrated and giving my best, leaving to worry about the big moment when he arrived. We played the last song, and Freddie motioned for me to approach.

"It will be now," he warned me and Deaky, he turned to Roger and gave the same message.

I took a deep breath, preparing myself, taking a long breath as I returned to my seat.

"Yes, it's been an honor to be here with you today, on this great night," Freddie began, "thank you for coming and if you like it, don't forget to buy our record. Anyway, I will stop doing self-advertisement because there is something very special that our friend Brian, brilliant and hairy guitarist, wants to do and that is why I will give him the floor."

I smiled at the way he referred to me, which made me relax a bit, so the time was right there. I went there for my great mission ...

"First, I want to wish everyone a good evening, and my personal thanks to each one of you, that's really incredible ..." I thought it was important to start this way, and then I thought about what the audience should be thinking and decided to explain. "I know that many of you shouldn't be understanding what is happening, but ... these three convinced me to do this ... and after a while I agreed. So without further ado, I'd like to kindly ask to my beautiful, sweet lady Christine Mullen to come here."

I dropped the bomb and waited, watching to see if she would appear in the crowd. In the first moment, there was no sign of her, and I almost started to despair, so I saw her, followed her with my gaze until she came up on the stage.

I ran up to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, making her feel safer, looking at her who was looking down. I took a deep breath before starting to speak, I looked at Chrissie in fear, but I faced her and moved on.

"Sorry for that, Chrissie, I really didn't want to expose you like this, but you know, I agreed with them for the good of the band, so we don't separate just now that everything is going well" I thought it better to justify it.

"All right" she wasn't angry, to my relief "I forgive you, I'm already here."

"Okay." I took my breath and held her hands, looking into her eyes, full of anticipation, I started my proposal "Chrissie, I ... you are so special to me! I know I say this a lot, but it's because it's true, you're just like I thought I wanted my ideal girlfriend, you think like me, you understand me, and every day you make me sure you love me, and I... How I Love You! I admire you, just for being who you are, as the way you are. You're not just my ideal girlfriend, you have everything to be my ideal wife."

I could see the shock in her face, but in my heart I knew it wasn't a bad sign.

"Christine Mullen," I said my beloved's name, kneeling and offering her the ring, "will you marry me?"

I stared at her expectantly, just waiting for her to say yes. However, Chrissie began to cry, her face blushing rapidly, giving loud sobs, which then turned into laughter. I had left my poor girlfriend so confused ... I could see her emotions in conflict, while mine were controlled, concentrating only on her response.

Even though I didn't speak into the microphone, it was clear that the whole audience understood what was happening, from what I had done, they knew I had proposed. They started shouting and clapping in an encouraging euphoria.

"Yes, Yes!" finally Chrissie said, and I laughed with joy "I will, I will!"

She offered me her hand and I put the ring in its place. Without warning, I hugged her taking her off the floor, hoping that Chrissie wouldn't get mad at me for it, but I had to celebrate that way. I held her in my arms a little longer, renewing the certainty that now we would be together forever. I let her go and looked at her, barely able to believe the agreement we had just made, we laughed together for the same reason.

"May I?" All I wanted now was to kiss her, but we had a strict policy of being discreet in public.

"Yeah," she allowed me.

Then I kissed her, ignoring everything and everyone around me, thinking only of Chrissie, now my fiancée, my future wife. In the end, I felt it was just me, she and her yes at that unforgettable moment.


	25. The Big Day

As thrilled as we were, I was still afraid of Chrissie's reaction because the proposal was made in front of a rather large audience. That's why we celebrated our new engagement in a rather impromptu way, just in a meeting with our friends, the way we were used to doing always.

It wasn't long before she demanded explanations from all of us, and of course I gave reason to my fiancee. If they did something to me in hiding, I'd be as suspicious as she was. After all Chrissie's doubts were cleared up, we began to organize the wedding.

Looking over our finances, putting together my salary a little better now, and hers, we have been able to afford the most basic and necessary things to a wedding. We just had a little problem, we were reluctant to have a big party. Both for me and for Chrissie a small celebration in our apartment would be enough, but the place was too small to fit all the guests. I tried to get my fiancée quiet about it, and I committed myself to solving that, with Chrissie offering me her help when necessary.

So, for a while, I focused on Queen's new album, rehearsing, deciding, editing, perfecting the songs so we could record them. After a day at work in the studio, Jim Beach came to talk to us, being friendly as always. Being our lawyer, he took more care of the legal part, but it doesn't mean that he couldn't enjoy our music. Jim was our huge fan too.

"Oh Brian, I got the wedding invitation today, it's only a couple of months from now, isn't it?" Jim talked to me.

"Oh yes, on the one hand it's good, but on the other not so much." I shrugged, trying to disguise what still worried me.

"Oh no, don't tell me you want to give up!" Roger exclaimed, in a position to beat me if necessary.

"No, of course not, I said it's good the wedding day coming soon" I had to laugh, but a little outraged, because it was like he didn't know me right "it's all we need to decide where to party, we have arranged a place that fits the guests and that we can pay."

"I understand, but you can't wait to call Chrissie Mrs. May." Jim corrected the misunderstanding and I smiled. "Huh, by the way, the recording is over now, right, boys? Do you want a ride, Brian? I insist."

"There's no way I can't say no to that." I shrugged, a little embarrassed.

"I'm seeing that favoritism there, Jim." Freddie said irritated, but in a joking tone, "I'll want some of it later, huh!"

"The offer of a ride is open for you, John and Roger whenever you want," the lawyer laughed. "Bye boys."

My trio of friends answered and I followed the cue, leaving with Jim. I didn't understand why he wanted to give me a ride, but in spite of the shame, it would be silly to refuse. When we got to my apartment, Chrissie was a little embarrassed, and I tried to explain that Jim had insisted a lot to come. To our relief, the lawyer didn't take long to justify his unexpected visit. Being as kind and generous as he always was, Jim offered us his house to hold the wedding party, it was another favor I couldn't refuse, my fiancee and I accepted the gift from the heart.

The date of the great day was approaching, and the day before it, I could hardly sleep of anxiety. I was restless in the middle of the night, while my Chrissie slept in full peace, as she did it, I didn't know. Afraid to wake her, I got up slowly, going to sit on the living room sofa. I sat on the end of the seat, hands clasped under my chin, staring at a fixed point on the wall.

It was hard to define what I was thinking, and how I was feeling. I think that first of all, it was strange being the center of attention at a big event, it was very different from doing a show, since I shared my attention with my other three companions, and on the day of my wedding, all the glances would turn to us, and Chrissie was as shy as I was. To deal with this fear, I decided to focus on what I had to do, to receive Chrissie from her father, to answer yes, to kiss her, to leave the church. Those were simple steps to follow, despite all the excitement. And then there would be the party, it would be a time to just celebrate. The next day, I would be with my wife, to continue taking care of her, as I have always done, from the day we commit to each other. How would you take care of Chrissie? With all my love and dedication, and financially, I was counting on the band's resources to have a comfortable life, but if one day, maybe, I could no longer live on music, I would have the plan to be a teacher as a guarantee.

All of this filled my mind, all at once, going back and forth, until a hand on my shoulder brought me back to the real plane. My Chrissie stared at me, a little worried.

"Good morning, have you had breakfast?" she asked.

"Ah no, I ..." I explained, a little bland "I couldn't sleep and I ended up coming here ..."

"I'll see you later," I said anxiously, "I love you."

"Of course I'll see you later," Chrissie assured me, "I love you too."

She went to Mary's house while I was going to meet the boys at our drummer's house.

At the door of Roger's apartment, I waited for him to answer me after ringing the bell. He opened the door, greeted me with a huge smile, giving me a quick hug that I was surprised as Freddie and John clapped. Our vocalist whistled.

"Jesus, what's all this exaggeration for?" I asked my friends, wondering what I got ithem so excited.

"You're getting married soon, Bri, it's your big day!" Freddie explained euphorically.

"I know, just don't make me any more nervous than I already am" I smiled for their goodwill.

The four of us got ready fast, which was a miracle when it came to Roger and Freddie. Freddie in a relatively discreet suit, for his terms. Already on the street, Roger bowed to me to sit in the passenger seat of his car. Under other circumstances, I would roll my eyes, but I knew that all these gestures of my friends were because they were happy for me. So I smiled and sat down, I sighed before Roger started the car, taking us to the church.

Arriving there, I greeted those who had arrived and went to my place, in front of the altar, looking at the door, waiting for the moment when Chrissie and Mr. Mullen would pass by. Roger, Freddie, and John stood beside me, not only physically but in emotional support.

I was glad my parents were there, and they soon came to talk to me.

"How are you, son?" "My father was very direct.

"Nervous, but happy, I still don't believe I'm getting married," I confessed.

"But my boy, you have to believe it, the day has come, and you deserve all the happiness in the world," Mom assured me, "I'm sure how much Chrissie loves you."

"Yeah, I know, Mom," I nodded with a small smile, "and I love her so much."

"And from now on, you'll live together forever because of this love, that's what I sincerely wish Brian," my father completed, which filled me with hope for the future.

The sound of the organ made us concentrate on what was about to happen. Looking at the door of the church, I soon saw my sweetheart coming toward me, with her father right beside her. That sight made my heart beat even harder. She was different from what she was like on a daily basis, appropriately arranged like a bride, but she was still my sweet lady. Chrissie hesitated a bit at the entrance, her gaze on me telling me how embarrassed she was to attract all eyes to herself. I just returned her gaze so that she understood that she could come, she just had to look at me, I was waiting for her and nothing would get me out of there.

So she started to walk towards me, I began to drum my fingers on my legs, not knowing what to do with my hands, all my energy and concentration was on my bride's face. As she approached, I offered her my arm, and Chrissie held it tight.

"Here we go ..." I sighed at her, preparing myself for what was about to happen.

"Yeah ..." she replied and I felt her nervousness, however, she was there by my side, we would face it together.

"My dear friends and family" the minister began the ceremony "we are gathered here before God and these witnesses to unite Brian May and Christine Mullen in marriage. Brian, is it your free will to marry this woman?"

"Yes," I said with complete certainty.

"Christine, it is of your own free will to marry this man?" The minister addressed her.

"Yes," she said in a timid, but moved voice.

"If so, repeat what I say, please," the minister asked the two of us.

"I, Christine Mullen," my Chrissie looked into my eyes, speaking with conviction, "receive you, Brian Harold May, as my lawful husband, promising to love you, to respect you, and to honor you, for all the days of our lives."

"I, Brian Harold May." I held her hands gently, so she would be sure of every word I said "receive you, Christine Mullen, as my lawful wife, promising to love you, respect you, and honor you, for all the days of our lives."

"And by the power invested in me, I declare you officially married, you can kiss the bride," said the minister.

It was the moment that would finally seal our union, a universal symbol that showed to all that we were officially husband and wife. Even though Chrissie was waiting for this kiss, I felt I had to ask for her permission, after all we were in public. I touched her face very lightly, warning her that I wouldn't startle her by kissing her suddenly. As I leaned down to kiss her, she responded in the same way, and so our lips touched. Everyone in the church went into a party, making a great noise in celebration. We left the church still in the midst of all the commotion, and I and Chrissie could barely contain the emotion.

"Is this all real?" she asked me, visibly very excited.

"You can bet with all your strength that it is, Mrs. May" I could hardly believe it when I heard my own voice calling her like that, I had to laugh at such happiness.

I hugged my wife tightly, before we headed for the party. I was happy to see Jo Morris and Tim Sttafell there. Jo had been a little away from us lately, not for bad, but for having ended her dating with Roger, and Tim had followed his life, even though it didn't work out with the other band. When we finished talking to all the guests, they didn't give us rest and begged for a speech from me and my wife.

 "There's no other way" I looked at Chrissie, communicating this "Do you want me to talk first?"

"If you don't mind," she glared back at me, embarrassed, but I understood her.

I offered to go first just to save her from public pressure, I caught her hand smiling, and we watched the guests waiting for us to speak, still begging for a speech.

"Okay, okay, guys," I raised an arm to get their attention. "Um ... I didn't prepare anything to talk, I know, I know, it's not my way, and I'd feel more comfortable if I were asked to do a guitar solo, but, you wouldn't fully understand the emotion I'm feeling. I just thank each of you for sharing our joy today, and I thank you Chrissie" I looked at my beautiful wife "you know you're the girl of my dreams, my sweet lady, and today I'm happier to be able to call you my wife. I love you."

I noticed Chrissie pondering what she was going to say, I looked at her encouragingly, reminding her that I was right there supporting her.

"Well, I guess you're expecting me to speak too," she looked down to disguise, but she managed to move on. "I remember the first time I saw Brian performing, and I was blown away by the way he played guitar, and when we talked, just looking at him I realized how smart and passionate he was about the things he loved, and the way he was always kind and considerate to me, and understood me when I wasn't well, me loving to talk to him, to be with him, and even then, it took me a long time to realize that I already loved him, because for a long time I thought I would never find someone who would complete me perfectly, but sometimes I had hope, I thought someone out there was hoping to find someone like me, even though I was like the way I am, and Brian is that person. And I love him so much, for all he is, just as we know him."

As I listened, I couldn't help but cry because of the way she described me. I was always insecure with myself, had difficulties making friends, I was too tall, too messed up, a complete weird for most people, besides growing up thinking that I would never be able to talk to a girl, but here I was. I had married a girl who loved me just as I was, even though I was all that. I continued to admire her, letting the tears flow down my face.

"Oh my God Bri ..." Chrissie was terrified, "I didn't want to make you cry ..."

Her hands went up to my face, wiping away the tears, I saw how worried she was, thinking she had made me sad.

"I never thought I'd be able to talk to a girl" I told her what I was thinking "and yet, I married a girl who thinks I'm all that you said, even though I don't think that about me ..."

"But you are Brian ..." Chrissie took the initiative to kiss me, which surprised me positively, me and our guests, who clapped their hands in approval of her gesture.

After dinner and dessert, me and the boys got together to play a little. I even decided to do something I was thinking of doing at the wedding since we set the date.

"John," I called, and he approached, "take it for a little while."

"What are you doing?" He looked at me and Red Special, since I wanted to give my guitar to him.

"I wanted ..." I was a little embarrassed, but I ignored my own shame "to dance with Chrissie, after all it's our wedding, then I want you to play "Some Day One Day".

"Wow, are you entrusting your precious guitar to me? I'm honored, Bri." John smiled, understanding my plan. "It will be my pleasure to respond to your request."

While he placed the bass in a corner, I turned to Freddie and Roger, asking them to accompany John. Then, trying to play an enchanted prince (hoping to act as princely as Prince Albert), I approached Chrissie, who was sitting with Jo, Veronica, and Mary.

"Would you dance with me, wife?" I reached for her, hoping she would hold on and didn't think I was a fool for my sense of humor.

"Oh ..." Chrissie was surprised "well, asking like that, I will."

By a miracle, no one else paid attention to us at that point, and then we positioned ourselves where we had more room to dance.

"Bri" Chrissie lifted her head to look at me.

"Say it." I smiled at her.

"I don't know how to dance," she confessed softly, laughing a little.

"I don't know either, but just keep up" I've solved our little setback.

We heard Freddie, John and Roger sing and play, and soon we moved to the rhythm of my song. I stroked Chrissie's head nested in my chest, my left hand held to her right. I closed my eyes, feeling all the lull of that moment of a very hectic but happy day, the day I married the girl of my dreams.


	26. Missing each other

Chrissie and I soon entered into an agreement that, now that we were married, we could buy a house, a bigger place to get our friends, to make ourselves more comfortable, or maybe one day, for our children to have room to play.

Of course I didn't mention that part about children, after all, we had just gotten married and I knew that being a father wasn't an easy task. I didn't think I was ready to instruct anyone, to teach a kid about the world and everything around him, when I was still fitting and organizing the little things of my life. I definitely needed more time, to have more experience of life. However, being a father was one of my dreams, but I understood that it wasn't yet the right time to do it.

For the time being, what needed my attention was my wife and the band. The band that really demanded a lot of my energy and my ideas, because, from time to time, we started to make a certain success. I think it all started with the "Killer Queen" video on Top of the Pops, being shown on television. The popularity of this song was what guaranteed our tour in Japan, which made me have to face two great challenges.

The first was to stay away from Chrissie for a long time. As much as I traveled constantly when we were dating, nothing compared to two whole months out of the country. I didn't want to be away from her, but I knew I had to, I had my job and she had hers as well.

The second issue was that, with all my time dedicated to the band, there came a time when I had to choose which career to pursue. My mind, constantly reminded of my father, telling me to continue being a teacher, but my heart insisted that my place was with my friends, because I loved music, and in practice, it was Queen who was giving me a job. So I decided to be officially just a guitarist.

It was with fear, but sincerity that I told Chrissie I wouldn't teach anymore, but she supported my decision completely, and I was relieved. Although she accepted my life as a musician, it doesn't mean that it was easier to say goodbye because of the band's touring shows.

After we undid our embrace and our lips parted in our farewell kiss, I began to worry. It was my heart to think that with every step I took towards the plane, I was further away from my wife.

Nostalgia was just a bigger question, along with my concern about traveling out of England for the first time, in a different country with a different language. It was clear that we weren't completely helpless. John Reid and Jim Beach were with us, instructing us in everything we needed, but still, this new experience caused me fear and expectation. I took a deep breath, deciding that I was only there to play with my friends, in the same union and brotherhood as always. This thought helped me to relax until we arrived, but when my feet were on the ground again, all the worry returned to my heart.

We walked the four of us in a hallway amid hysterical and crazy fans, as I had never seen before. They shouted Freddie's name more, but I heard Roger and John in the crowd as well. And listening to my name, made me shudder. Many of the fans had posters, album covers, pictures depicting us, things that showed they admired us. Reid approached us, and we turned our attention to him.

"We have some time for you to sign autographs," he advised, "enjoy the moment, it will be good for publicity of the band's image."

"What?" I murmured, half scared by what our manager asked for.

He hadn't been the only one to react like this, Deaky seemed to gulp.

"It's not so hard guys, just smile and write your names, they understand you don't speak Japanese," Reid insisted, handing out pens and moving forward.

Roger and Freddie soon joined the fans, and at an impressive ease, John and I, somewhat reluctantly, followed their example. Unintentionally, my smile came automatically to those young people signing their things, I think it was a reflection, to realize that all this was a pure admiration for who the Queen was, who we were.

It was with that thought that I relaxed when doing the shows, but as soon as they were over and I went to sleep, I was longing for Chrissie. She always lay down next to me, I felt her breath on my face, I looked at her calm countenance that also made me feel at peace, but now I needed to sleep, even though I was alone, since I had to rest for the show the next day, and this routine would follow until the end of the tour.

The first night I cried softly until I fell asleep. Part of me thought I was an exaggerated fool, but the other part said that it was okay to miss my wife. On other days, I remembered that I had brought with me one of her favorite books, "The Horse and His Boy." When I had a free time and the longing was hard, I read the book almost without stopping. I had the feeling that somehow Chrissie was closer when I embarked on the story she loved so much. Being almost in the fantasy world of Narnia helped me deal with the missing of my wife.

I promised Chrissie I'd call whenever I could, but I was afraid of the calls, because besides being expensive, my wife had to stay up late waiting because of the time zone. So we had short conversations on the phone, but even so, they were wonderful and cherished our hearts.

When I met her at the airport, while finally putting my feet on the ground of my homeland, I could hardly believe that Chrissie was right there before my eyes. I was so happy that I pulled her off the floor with my hug.

My first tour with Queen was like this, with different experiences, good and bad, but overall, they helped me prepare for the next one in the United States. I tried to keep my cool when I said goodbye to Chrissie at the airport, assuring my wife that everything would be all right and that I would be back soon. But I would miss her anyway. As luck would have it, I really came home sooner than I expected, but for a very bad reason.

I remember waking up in the morning in the hotel, going to bed early the night before, feeling more tired than usual. I thought it was because of the routine show run, and then I fell asleep. When I woke up, I felt dizzy and limp, I tried to stand, but it seemed that I had lost my balance. Dodging the wall I managed to balance, standing in front of the mirror of the room. I was shocked to realize how pale I was, the color of my face had turned to a sickly yellow hue. I felt like I was going to fall and then tried to get back near the bed. I began to feel so much pain that I couldn't move right to straighten my position on the bed. "Oh God, not now!" I thought, "I can't get sick right now." It was then that my head started spinning and I wasn't sure what was going on around me anymore."

I glimpsed Freddie, John, and Roger around me, but I barely understood what they were talking about. John got in touch with Chrissie and tried to talk to her, but I felt so much pain that I couldn't even speak. I remember them carrying me and taking me to the airport. I didn't know how long it took for this to happen, but at some point I fainted and didn't see anything else.

I just opened my eyes again in a hospital room, with a doctor and nurses around me. I remember taking two injections and sleeping again. I felt a different movement in the room and I started to wake up, I saw that the boys were apprehensive, they should have stayed there for a long time. I knew my Chrissie was there just by her presence and, with all the conviction that she was there, it was confirmed even more when she took my hand, I tried to make her hear me.

"Chrissie, I'm sorry ..."

I felt guilty about my current conditions, getting sick had left my whole family worried, especially my wife, who was so far away from me when I became ill.

"You're not to blame for anything, my love," she assured me.

Still, I felt bad, not only because of the feeling of dizziness that hadn't gone away completely, but also because I had interrupted our tour, had prevented John, Freddie and Roger from doing the shows, and had no idea when I would recover. Would I get better? What if I didn't? If they decided to leave the band for that and look for another guitarist to put in my place? Right now that everything was working out, why did I have to get sick?

I waited in silence for the doctor's diagnosis, I understood that I had hepatitis and that the treatment would be delayed. I tried to argue, to argue that I didn't have all this time, that Queen needed me, but I didn't have the words for it. I stood there, defeated by my conditions, by the fear of having to leave the band.

My time in the hospital was very conflicting for me, I felt a complete useless, guilty for not being able to play with the boys, for making Chrissie leave the work to take care of me. But my friends and my wife assured me that they were there of their own free will, and in my heart I knew it to be true.

My friends assured me that they would never replace me, that Queen wouldn't be Queen without me, which made me calmer. Chrissie, even worried about me, had something else troubling her, but she didn't want to tell me what it was. I respected her privacy, if it was serious, neither she nor I were in a position to discuss this mysterious subject.

And yet, she never left my side, only at night to sleep at home, just because I had insisted a lot. With her company, her conversations, her smile, her dedication, and her love for me, I've been improving a lot, to the point where my inspiration came back.

I scribbled a start for "Now I'm Here", but I also had ideas for another song. In a moment of silence between me and Chrissie, I noticed her looking absent-mindedly out the window, I watched her with admiration. She had a small, delicate physical bearing, pointed cheeks, sweet eyes, yet she had faced this whole situation with strength and bravery, without ever losing kindness and gentleness. I felt her transmit her love for me in many ways, from her company to her constant "I love you" that I never tired of hearing. I felt in the clouds just looking at her there. I knew Chrissie was the woman of my life, but remembering it every day made me feel good.

"My love?" I called and she turned around with a smile.

"Yeah Bri, what ?" Chrissie said.

"Could you please get me another piece of paper and a pen?" "I promise, sweetly," I promise, I will not strain myself, I just had another idea that I can't lose."

"Okay." She shook her head, but nodded, since we'd discussed this earlier when I wrote the lyrics for "Now I'm Here."

"Chrissie" I called before she left, she looked at me, waiting for my answer "I love you very much."

"I love you too," she smiled, and it wasn't long before she came back, bringing what I asked for.

I began to write as my love for her made me feel. I put the paper away after I finished, making sure she didn't read it for now. I would show her in the first opportunity I had to finish the song.


	27. Getting Atention

I could barely contain my anxiety and impatience that morning. The day before, Dr. Reeves had warned me that my recovery was complete, and that if all went well, I would be discharged the next day. It was all I wanted most, finally to leave that hospital, to return home, to return to my normal routine and consequently making my friends and wife return to their lives without having to worry too much about me.

I felt my strength back, I could now stand, walk the hospital corridors and feed myself with a more solid food. It was in this agitation that Chrissie found me that morning. Without hesitation, I ran up to her hugging and kissing her, startling her a little at first, but when I looked at her, it was clear that she understood my excitement.

"We still need the doctor's confirmation to know if you're going to be discharged today." She grimaced to scold me.

"But I'm going to be discharged today, sure!" I emphasized, with open arms "look at me, I'm fine!"

"I see," Chrissie chuckled, "but I also want you to leave the hospital soon, I miss you at home."

"And I miss being with you there." I took her right hand, holding it with mine. "I don't think I even remember how our house is."

"Stop it, Brian Harold May!" she joked, and whenever she spoke my name that way it made me laugh "don't be so dramatic."

"But seriously, Christine Mullen May." I looked at her seriously and she made a face at me. "It was awful to me."

"I know," she touched my face, smiling, "but your time here is definitely over."

It was just Chrissie saying that Dr. Reeves showed up.

"I see you're much better, Brian," he commented, as polite as ever, "we just need one more test to confirm your condition, and then you'll be free as a bird."

"Amen Doctor!" I said hopefully.

So I underwent another examination and after some time waiting with Chrissie, I was finally discharged.

"Thank you for everything, Dr. Reeves," I said gratefully as I left.

"I didn't do more than my job." He shook my hand. "Take care of yourself, huh?"

"You can leave that to me, Doctor," Chrissie answered for me, and I felt myself in the best hands of the world.

Holding my wife's hand, I left St. Bartholomew with renewed energy, ready to go back to full strength. That's how I finished writing and recording "Now I'm Here," a song in the greatest rock'n'roll style. But I didn't forget another song Chrissie inspired me to write.

When I was alone in the afternoon, I worked on it, thinking of arrangements, but not much in the chords. In technical musical terms, "She Makes Me" was simple, but it meant a lot to me, described how I felt about Chrissie, and expressed all my feeling in the song, as best I could. When I considered it finished, I made sure my wife was the first person to hear it.

I kept waiting for Chrissie to arrive, and as soon as she opened the door, I got up, hurrying up there, ready to receive her, and then to show the music I made to her.

"Brian? Is everything right?" She smiled, but she was confuse.

"Everything, everything, I have to show you something," I said seriously.

"Did something serious happen? Please tell me if that's it." Her face contorted with concern.

"Oh, sorry, I worried you," I realized and thought I was an idiot. "That's not it, just sit here with me, just a moment."

"Is it some kind of surprise, or present, or ...?" she tried to guess, but she gave up, I felt she saw that she had to wait for me to explain.

"Well, without further ado," I sat up on the couch and picked up the acoustic guitar, which I preferred to use when I wrote it "I did a song for you, I wanted you to be the first to listen, and I hope you don't mind."

"Did you make a song for me?" I thought she'd make a surprise jump "my God, Brian, this is ... wow, I think it's incredible that I inspired you in some way ..."

"But you inspire me, much more than you realize," I assured Chrissie, full of admiration for who my wife was, "are you ready to listen?"

"Ah ..." she replied, still a bit stunned by my tribute, I hoped she would be fine after getting used to my idea.

I began to play the chords and sang the lyrics, following the melody, insisting that she was my love, that I would do anything for her, that even if something separated us, I would still love her ... When I finished my short presentation, I noticed my somewhat alarmed wife.

"Didn't you like it?" I thought the worst.

"No, that's not it, it's that ..." Chrissie looked down, trying to find appropriate words. "It's as if you're totally dependent on me, and I, well ... sometimes ... I'm not sure if I offer everything you're saying."

"My love, don't worry" I wasn't angry at her reaction, deep down, I expected some of it, I knew Chrissie was insecure, just as I was, I was shy with compliments "but you know it's true how I feel, And to me you are all of this."

She smiled at me, even shy, but I felt that everything was fine.

"Thank you," she managed to say, "but ... you intend to record this song on the next album, won't you?"

"I do, but ..." I had an idea of what was troubling her now. "I won't tell anyone what inspired me to write it, maybe for the boys, just for them, for no one else."

"Yeah, I'd be dying for shame if you did that," she confessed, "just don't tell anyone who's going to spread the word around and make an interest in me, that I didn't want to ..."

"No, no critic or newspaper will know, I promise," I nodded to her, sure enough.

"Thank you for understanding Bri, don't get me wrong, I love you making a song for me, but ..." Before she finished, I touched her face, which interrupted her.

"You don't want to call attention, I get it, and it's okay, really." I kissed her forehead, and felt her calm down.

So "She Makes Me" was recorded for the album "Sheer Heart Attack", which was finally released after my long recovery time. We spent the rest of that year spreading it, with shows all over London and other parts of the country, on a tour. And once again I spent a long time away from my Chrissie, it was something I was getting used to, but I always missed her, called when I could, read her favorite books when we were on the road.

Although the tours lasted long periods, they seemed short compared to what was to come. With a certain prestige of authentic artists and fans eager for our next job, we agreed to propose to EMI to record something different and innovative, following the ideas of Freddie inspired by lyric music.

One Saturday morning, I said good-bye to Chrissie, but with the promise that I would call her as soon as I could. She wished me a good trip, and I didn't see her enter the house as the car drove off towards Wales. Our final destination was Ridge Farm, where was Rockfield Studios, a friendly, peaceful and isolated farm, so that nothing would hinder us from recording.

Roger was the only one who complained at the beginning, because he was in a place at the end of the world, but a little later, John commented that he didn't like his room very much. It took a while for us to get in the way of temporarily living together. For the first three days, I gave up waiting for someone to cook and I was content to make a dinner that had soup as a menu. Being a vegetarian, I refused to cook meat, and when the boys got sick of soup, they finally decided to cook their own meal. John was good, but if we left Freddie or Roger or the two of them alone in the kitchen, I could bet they would blow something up. The poor boys couldn't boil an egg, and even though I taught them how to know when the egg was ready, it seemed that their brains refused to keep the information. Go figure, brilliant musicians, but disastrous cookers. John didn't mind helping when they needed it.

At least in our routine, Freddie kept us on the line, coordinating the recordings as a true leader, but also because Roy and Paul were keeping an eye on our work. My luck was that I had brought home two songs, "'39" and "The Prophet's Song," which expedited my work to write more songs while we were there. John, in his old habit of writing a single song, brought "You're My Best Friend" to our repertoire. So far, everything went well, so as always Freddie and Roger came up with something unusual.

"Bohemian Rhapsody" was awkward at first, but we embarked on the crazy idea of our vocalist, putting us on the edge and even the recording tape, but in the end, I was happy with the result. Each one of us contributed to bring a unique idea to the surface, and that certainly would impact the public. Contrasting the masterpiece, my best friend came with the song about being in love with hiw car. It made me want to laugh every time he mentioned it, but I kept me of laughing out of respect for our friendship. Of course the last straw was when he made the foolish decision to lock himself in the closet, and there was no way we could get our drummer back until we surrendered to his will.

When we finished the album, we finally went back home. I hugged my Chrissie with all my strength to see her, pulling her off the ground, kissing her in a way that made up for all the time we were away. I looked around, also killing the missing of our house.

We had a setback with EMI, which was bad at first, but then we managed to turn around, creating our own endeavor to take care of the band and new recordings. We showed our loved ones some of our favorite songs at a home meeting, and so, because I was very happy with Chrissie, I could see that same happiness in John and Veronica, who had been married earlier this year, and Roger and Dominique, who had been dating since last year, and this time my friend seemed to be willing to make that relationship last, and the singular complicity between Mary and Freddie, which was very strong.

Despite the rejection of the critics, Bo Rhap was a resounding success, making us the subject of the moment for a long time. I didn't feel all that immediate repercussion, but I saw that little by little, people seemed to recognize me much more on the street, it seemed that I gave a lot more autographs now, exaggerated fans screamed and ran after us, and our shows became much ore crowded. All this because of our music. I would be a liar if I said I wasn't afraid. I couldn't enjoy all this completely relaxed, my shy self was so attentive, my rational part told me constantly that I was an artist recognized by my talent and all this result was a sign of that. Even with the logical answer, I still had trouble getting used to all this.

At the same time that I was dealing with this part of my life, it didn't go unnoticed by me that Chrissie started to leave the shows earlier than usual, that she stopped attending the recordings when I knew she had time for this, and the strangest thing for me was when she made a point of changing the subject when we talked about Queen. Just the one who always supported us, since when we were still Smile.

Chrissie was upset, anguished, sad, but she didn't tell me the reason at all. I became more and more worried about my wife, afraid to push her too much and hurt her. But to help her, I needed to know what was happening. While she didn't open up to me, I tried to assure her that no matter the problem, I loved her and was there by her side to help as I could.


	28. Opening the Heart

There was a night when I noticed Chrissie quieter and more sad than usual. She was always a quieter person, but with me, she talked and opened with great joy, without worrying about anything, which made me happy because my wife trusted me so much, but sadly she wasn't not like that lately. Like everyone else, my sweet lady was a human being who had her sad and happy moments, but Chrissie was much sadder than usual.

Even so, struggling against my willingness to ask what was happening and what she had, I was watching her in silence. What I could do that didn't make her uncomfortable was to hold her hand any longer, to hold her a little longer, to hear her a little longer. And that was the problem, she didn't want to talk. It was when I saw that I had to do something, if not the worst would happen to my wife, she would still be unhappy, and I didn't want this to happen at all. Then I took a deep breath, ready to start a conversation that deep in my heart I knew wouldn't be easy.

"Chrissie, come here, please." I called her before she left me alone, going practically to take refuge alone in our room.

I almost hesitated to see my wife's shock, everything in her indicated that she was afraid. I felt bad for not knowing what was frightening her, if it was I who had that effect on her at that moment.

"Please, do'ot be afraid," I said softly as she sat next to me and barely looked me in the eye. "I just want to understand what's happening to you ... You're not well, it's been a while, and I don't know why won't you tell me. Did i do something wrong?"

"No, no ..." she denied and was interrupted by a sob, starting to cry "for God's sake don't blame yourself for my sadness, you're not to blame for anything Bri, you're wonderful! It's just ... I don't want to tell you why I'm sad because I'm going to hurt you and I'll never want to hurt you ..."

"Wait, but if I'm so wonderful, why would I give you a reason to hurt me?" I was desperate, not understanding what I could have done as bad as that.

Chrissie ended up crying even more, which scared me and I didn't know what else to do.

"Chrissie, stop crying" I thought that was the only thing I could ask for "stop crying ..."

However, she was still completely despairing in tears, I just hold her comforting, hoping she somehow managed to wrest all this anguish from her heart.

"Calm down, calm down ..." I said, trying not to cry too, feeling guilty "sorry for what I did, I don't know what it was, but sorry ..."

Slowly, she turned to me. I just watched her, hoping she could tell me. She was so frightened that I was afraid to touch her face, I reached my hand close to her left cheek, but I hesitated, thinking she wouldn't accept my affection. To my relief, Chrissie guided my hand to her face.

"Can you tell me now?" I just asked because I felt she was much calmer.

"Don't get me wrong for what I'm going to say, just ..." she was still sensitive and fragile, "just put yourself in my place, okay?"

"I understood," I said, getting alert for her previous explanation, preparing myself for what I would hear.

"Brian, I love you, with all my heart," her voice was steady but low, "and if you wondering why it's because you're like me, you understand my way, you're intelligent, kind, beautiful! None of this has anything to do with being a guitar player, being a guitar player is part of who you are, but I didn1t fall in love with you because you were a musician. But I also love your musical talents, it fills me with pride the recognition you and the boys are receiving, because it's your dream, and you deserve it, for who you are and for working hard for it. The problem is that ... Being successful professional artists made you famous, and with fame, I passed ... For difficult situations, that I never imagined to pass, that traumatized me. So sometimes I think that if ... You weren't a famous band, we would have a life a little more normal, with which I would be happy with. It's just that wanting this is the same thing as asking you and the boys to gave up on your dreams because of me and that's wrong and selfish. That's what I was thinking, since when you were hospitalized, and I didn't want to say why it would hurt you and the boys too much."

How could I didn't realize it before? My Chrissie had always been discreet and simple, she had never asked for so much attention and spotlight on her, and being with me, brought all this as a consequence, almost the same way that being a guitarist of a famous band also made me go through uncomfortable situations that I preferred thousand times don't pass. And Chrissie had hidden that from me, kept that horrible feeling inside her for more than a year, since she'd been worried since I got sick. It wasn't fair to her, and to know that, it broke my heart, to know that she'd gone through this alone for so long. I hugged her tightly, making it clear that I wouldn't let her out of the middle of my arms anytime soon.

"You didn't think anything wrong," I assured her, looking into her eyes, so she had no doubts. "Me and the boys also got scared with this fame thing, and I'm also very upset about certain things that happen by but I'm starting, right at the beginning, to deal with all this, to understand that since I want to be Queen's guitarist, I'll also have to accept the criticism and the nonsense fans. And it's good that you spoke because you fell in love with me, for who I really am, and not just for who they think is Queen's guitarist.

"You forgive me?" Chrissie asked, but it wasn't necessary, I understood her feelings "because I also know that I have to understand this side of your life, that I will have to put aside my fears to be the wife of Queen's guitarist."

"How can I forgive you if you haven't done anything wrong, my love?" I managed to smile "in a way, I've already thought about what you thought. Just let's learn to deal with it together, without hiding anything from each other. Promise?"

"I promise" her smile made me feel in peace "thanks for understanding Bri ... How I love you for it!"

"Don't forget that I love you too, Chrissie ..." I reminded her, still wrapping her in my arms, "come on, let's get some rest, shall we?"

"Okay," was all she'd said, but I saw that she was much better.

When we lay down to sleep, I made sure she laid her head on my chest, feeling my heart beat throbbing in her ear, making sure I was right there, to protect her, to help her, to love her, for ever, being recognized or simply anonymous.

It was a very heavy and difficult conversation that wore us out emotionally, but as soon as it was over, and the next day came, we felt the effects of it, like taking a medicine after being sick for a long time. It was thinking of Chrissie's well-being that I had an idea, and once again, I waited for her approval.

Both me and her missed each other when I was on tour, and I thought that when I was away from her, I didn't see her sadness, her anguish, as well as the moment I should be there to support her. My solution to this was to propose that she be my personal assistant, which was perfect for me, since Chrissie knew me very well, knew how my routine was and was simply brilliant and kind, something very required and a little scarce in this world of rockstars.

I gave the idea to John Reid and Jim Beach, without giving much reason why, but they were content with the excuse of wanting to have my wife around longer, which was true. So our manager thought it would expedite Chrissie's papers as my personal assistant.

The morning I would ask if she wanted to be my assistant, I tried to be the most romantic of the husbands and even the sweetest, because I wanted Chrissie to constantly remember how much I loved her and respected her feelings.

Only then did I ask her to consider being my assistant, which made my sweet lady feel embarrassed, flattered, and unsure if she would be able to work in the position. I quoted all the qualities she had that fit perfectly as an assistant, her intelligence, her patience with people, her kindness, her vast knowledge of me, but still, my Chrissie mistrusted my true intentions.

"Well," she said softly, but I knew I might be in trouble. "We talked yesterday about not having any secrets from each other, so if I can ask, tell me the real reason you offered me the job."

"Wow, my darling, you got me..." I got nervous automatically "alright, alright, I'll be honest. I want to be close to you, protect you from everything that has left you sad, and show everyone the wonderful wife I have, right by my side."

"You can't be real ..." She shook her head, surprised at the idea "but ... what would I do? I have no training to be a rockstar's assistant, I can barely talk to strangers ..."

"But you have an incredible gift for dealing with people" I've pointed out her best qualities "you're kind, intelligent, polite, understanding, and you're one of the few people who gets a little of sense on Freddie and Roger."

"I know, but still, if I run into people who ... won't be so polite to me?" Chrissie was still worried.

"Do you know the steadiness of having harder students?" I had to use her teaching profession as an example "or the understanding with whom you have the most difficulty? And the patience and perseverance to continue teaching until the student learns?"

"I know, I know." She nodded, sighing, deciding what to answer.

She stopped for a while, thoughtful, in a silence that made me anxious, certainly considering everything I said and what it would be like to be my assistant in practice.

"So?" I tried not to sound so flustered.

"I think your teacher metaphors worked, my love," she said in agreement, "where I sign the contract, Mr. May?

"I ... I think everything's ready by tomorrow," I told her.

"Have you already talked to Reid ?" Ah ... Brian Harold May ..." even surprised, she giggled "you didn't even know if I was going to accept it."

"I figured I had an 80% of chance," I teased, "but Chrissie, thank you."

"Thank you, Bri." Chrissie gave me a smile, but it was me who was grateful that she agreed to stay longer beside me.

And fulfilling my expectations, she did very well in her new role. She paid attention to everything that Reid said, at every band meeting, in every media trend, organizing my schedule, making notes, accompanying me on every show, inside and outside the country. Of course Chrissie was very nervous and worried when she discovered that her first international trip with Queen would be to Rio de Janeiro, but soon she started to learn everything she could about Brazil, even a basic Portuguese vocabulary that we studied together. Despite her seriousness at work, I got her to take a ride with me through the very different city of the Rock in Rio festival.

After a few days so far from home, we were finally able to return to our beloved home. Drastic changes have happened in the lives of my friends, especially Roger and John. The most unbelievable thing in the world that could happen to Taylor happened, he had married Dominique and Deaky already had two sons, Robert (or Bobby as Freddie nicknamed him) and Michael. I tried to avoid thinking about it, I was still afraid to touch the subject with Chrissie, but seeing my friends with their families, I remembered how I longed to be a father one day. Reflecting on my life and my own maturation, I felt that this was the moment. I just waited until my wife felt ready enough to start our family together.


	29. Father in Training

f there was something that was never overlooked by me it was every detail of my wife, her discomforts, joys and especially her troubles. And I was always willing to help deal with them when necessary. That's why I was alert to the weird symptoms that Chrissie began to feel.

She was constantly tired, she felt cold when it was hot and hot when it was cold, and her emotions were much more blissful than usual. My Chrissie had always been crying very easily, she was naturally an emotional person, but now, without exaggeration, she cried for everything from losing a pair of socks in the middle of the laundry to hearing someone say something bad. More than quickly, I worried about her state of health.

I insisted that she go to the doctor, even against her will, and I had some fear, but my concern spoke louder, and I agreed that it was a situation that was better safe than sorry.

I wanted to accompany her very much in the consultation, but Chrissie insisted that I shouldn't leave the band's appointments and had no problem going alone. As soon as I got home, I asked what the doctor had said and was relieved by my wife's response, it was just a cumbersome weariness of long journeys.

I was relieved to have one less worry, since I began to worry even more about Freddie. He started dating Paul, and deep down, as much as we didn't say out loud, we didn't approve of this relationship at all.

I remember when we met Prenter for the first time. He seemed to me silent and committed only to his duties as Queen's assistant, but in his gaze there was something disturbing, a certain interest and ambition contained, as if he watched each of us, seeking our weaknesses to take some advantage of it. That was why I avoided him to the maximum and mainly didn't show much of my personal life to him.

I remember when I announced Chrissie as my assistant and his reaction, not looking directly at us, but Paul seemed to look at me like I was crazy or if that was a joke. It was clear how much he had disdained my wife and her ability. I became firmer with him from that day on. Prenter still dared to bother Chrissie shortly before we went to Brazil, but I made it clear that it was better for him to leave her alone.

While I, John, and Roger had a relatively stable life, despite still facing the occasional hardships of life, we knew that Freddie still had a void within him that he was now trying to fill with Paul's company, which was undoubtedly his worst option. I just continued to offer my emotional support to my friend when he needed it, understanding his crises and discomforts. As I adjusted to this news, I noticed a slight apprehension in Chrissie.

It wasn't like she was running around and screaming when something took away her peace or her patience, she really tried to deal with the situation as calmly as possible, and when she felt comfortable, she would tell me without hesitation. As I could, I advised her, making her remember that together we could solve our problems.

After a midweek dinner, my wife made an invitation to watch the stars in Hyde Park. It seemed very random, but I think she got the idea because we really needed a leisure time after so many commitments.

Hyde Park has always been a special place for us, especially for me because it was where I had asked Chrissie to be my girlfriend, and it was precisely to this place that she was taking us, I soon recognized the way. My wife asked me to sit next to her, right in my favorite place to watch the stars, which I now thought was her favorite too.

We sat down to watch the stars and then Chrissie called me, starting a subject with some difficulty. Whatever it was, I was willing to listen, not to judge or reprimand her, because it was clear that it was very serious.

"It's not an easy thing to say ..." she confirmed my suspicions, looking a little at the ground and then back at me "I ... I ... we delayed making a decision on this for a long time and. .. it kind of happened ... a few weeks ago I learned about it, I was thinking of a way to tell you ..."

"Chrissie, tell me..." I tried not to sound angry or hurried, but I really began to think of the worst.

My wife stared at me for a moment, and this time, incredible as it may seem, I didn't fully understand what her look meant. Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes. She smiled a shy, yet emotional smile, then looked at my hands, holding them with her own, taking them to her belly. My fingers stiffened over Chrissie's womb as my brain processed what it meant.

"You ..." I sighed, grinning from ear to ear, my heart pounding.

"Yeah, I'm pregnant," she said, her voice slightly altered by emotion, "they'll finally stop charging us ..."

"And you're happy just for that?" I laughed with such joy, and for her making a joke that our friends are also waiting for us to have children "that's ... I ... My God! I have no words..."

"Of course I'm happy." She nodded, sighing. "Bri, I dreamed about that, really, and I know you do too, so ... I don't believe I ... I'm going to be a mother, not just Roger's foster mother"

"And I ... I ..." I just let out the air I held, thinking that another of my impossible dreams had just come true !we're going to be parents. I think ... Now is a good time, really. We can do this together."

"Yeah, yeah," Chrissie agreed with me, which made me happy because I wanted to reassure her that we were really ready for that "I help you and you help me."

"Are you kidding?" I laughed again, reminding me of all the times Chrissie had acted like "Queen's mother" "no wonder Roger calls you mother, you're going to know how to help me a lot more than I do."

"Ah, but you're a bit of a father, too," she argued, and I had to agree, because I was always in charge of the band, although I also shared some of that with John "you keep the boys from getting into trouble. But it's teamwork, we're in this together."

"More than ever." I stared at her, caressing her face, barely believing we were there, both of us, and our baby on the way, the motives of my joy "I love you."

I kissed my wife, grateful to her being my partner, for always being on my side all these years, and now, after all, we had received a miracle of life.

"I love you" I just couldn't stop saying, all that moment reminded me how much I loved her, and a different kind of love that came right there "and our son! Or daughter ..."

"And I love you both." Chrissie looked into my eyes as she said it, overflowing with joy.

Surely, I would never forget that night, another incredible event that I lived in Hyde Park. And as soon as we got back home, I ended up in "parent training" mode, as Chrissie called it. I had to laugh when she said it, noticing all my care with her since leaving the park until we got home.

Before we went to sleep, I waited for her to have a glass of water in the kitchen, standing at the foot of the stairs, so that she would come up against me.

"I don't want you to flow or fall or anything," I explained in front of my wife's confused face.

"I can walk the stairs carefully, Bri." She held on to not laugh, but laughed softly "but I accepted your help."

When we lay down, my wife just kissed me good night, turned around and quickly fell asleep. It was another fact I learned about Chrissie over the years, she was fast asleep. On the one hand I was sad because I wanted to talk so much about the baby with her, whether it would be a boy or a girl, when he or she would start to kick, what day would be the day the kid would born, when would the kid start talking and walking, laughing ... Until I realized that it was a lot to think about for one night, just when I had just discovered that I would have a child. But all this concern was only my heart being aware of the existence of my little child. I had an idea before I went to sleep, and I didn't care that it was too early.

"Hi ... little one..." I whispered to the baby "I don't know if you can still hear me, I just wanted to say that ... I'm your ... dad, that's it, I'm your daddy, and you have no idea how much I'm glad you're here, well, not here, here, but one day you'll understand, I'm sure of it. I just wanted to say that I love you very much."

I reached out to touch Chrissie's belly, but I hesitated, afraid she might wake up. I just lowered my hand slowly, until I got closer, but only the tip of my forefinger brushed against her skin. It was my way of assuring me and my baby that this moment between us was very real.

Soon we told the boys, who soon told the girls, and all of them basically had the same lively and positive reaction, full of comments about how it took us too long to have children. But the folks were happy, being all of us a big family at heart, they were happy for our family to grow up a little bit.

The next few months were full of adaptation for both of us. I was even more worried about everything Chrissie ate and did. I replaced her beloved coffee (which she made a point of drinking every day) for chamomile tea, at least in the beginning, because she knew too much caffeine would hurt. We agreed that she would continue to work, accompanying me as usual, but without much effort, and would rest when she was closer to have the baby.

Fortunately for me, when Chrissie felt the typical strange wishes, she herself went after her own dangerous cooking blends. Although she cooked exceptionally well, I wasn't willing to eat her asparagus with sugar, carrot with chocolate, and worst of all, pizza with marshmallow.

I wasn't able to tell every change Chrissie was going through, after all, part of her pregnancy was a personal experience for her, but I could see the progression of gestation. When we got ready before going to the studio one day, I noticed her belly already a little bigger.

"That's ..." I said, after sitting for a long time staring at her, hoping she didn't think I was weird "well, it's starting to show..."

"Yes," Chrissie checked her silhouette, "it's closer more now..."

"But not so much" I got up, a little anxious "seven months and two weeks ahead yet, no?"

"Precisely this, completing today, precise as usual, Mr. May." She kissed my cheek as she finished speaking in a contented voice.

"It's because I don't want to miss any moment in our child's life," I was sincere, and she inclined her head, admiring my attention.

I continued my observation, and now, as more months passed, I could notice her belly bigger , and also the baby moving. He got more agitated when we were in the studio or the concerts, certainly reacting to the music around him. When the baby started to kick, Chrissie and I were equally astounded, but after a while, however sudden their movements, our baby always made us smile.

There was an occasion when we were in the studio and Chrissie was sitting in her corner, watching as usual. Although I was attentive to recording, I always looked at her occasionally, and after a pause as we sang the four of us together, I saw my wife's belly rise, giving a wide grin at the sight. It was our little one showing that he liked to listen to Dad and his uncles. The uncles who looked at me with confused faces, at least Freddie and Roger, since John had already been through these experiences twice.

"Oh, it's just baby May giving a hello," Freddie said, looking grumpy, but his smile denying the apparent irritation.

What happened in the studio gave me an idea, which I put into practice when we were at home. I invited Chrissie to sit next to me, which she readily accepted, though a little suspicious.

"Just listen to me, I want to do an experiment," I explained, but I saw that I sounded a little vague and very excited, I prepared to play something, only had nothing in mind, I let my wife decide what our son would hear "any special request, Mrs. May?"

"Um ..." she gave a smile, half pensive "I'm thinking between "Doing All Right" and "39". Or "Long Away ..." Yeah, play "Long Away."

"Ok" I agreed with her, starting to sing my song that was part of "A Dat at the Races".

You could believe in heaven

I would not care to say

Then Chrissie joined me, singing softly, which made me smile.

For every star in heaven

There's a sad soul here today

Wake up in the morning with a good face

Stare at the moon all day

Lonely as a whisper ...

I stopped when my wife jumped, which made me laugh and immediately touch her belly, seeing if my plan had worked. And again the baby kicked, feeling the impact of his gesture on my hand made me laugh with Chrissie.

"Do you like Dad's music?" I ended up talking to the baby "thank you ..."

"That's what you wanted," Chrissie said, understanding me, "to make the baby move by listening to music."

"Yeah, but you know it's scientifically proven that music helps the baby development" I was sure Chrissie knew that, I was only justifying it because I played and sang "if it's up to me, I'll always play for him."

"And I'm going to love to hear you too, so close." She touched my face, smiling at me, an invitation to a kiss, but as our lips met, I noticed Chrissie stirring a little.

"There's someone wanting attention," my wife explained, and I touched her belly again, feeling the baby move.

I knew very well the existence of my little boy, since Chrissie had told me, but that moment when he moved and in my head communicated with us, it was unbelievable, and it made me feel something that I had never experienced before. Just to think that I would soon have him in my arms, I would see his little face, and in a while I would hear him call me father, brought a happiness that I never found in life. I was very happy with my wife, but our little boy completed our happiness.

When I began to cry, in the silence that was made, it was purely for joy.


	30. My little boy

It was about a week before the baby's birth. Dr. Carter estimated an exact date, but she also made it clear that the baby might come a little earlier. I was trying to get ready for all the possibilities, I began to review in my mind what I had to do as soon as Chrissie went into labor, whether at home or at the hospital.

But while the baby didn't arrive, I tried to control my anxiety. One of my favorite times of the day was in the quiet night, around eight-thirty, nine o'clock, when we would be at home if we had no show or other engagement connected with Queen.

One night after dinner I leaned against the back door of our house,facing the yard, a relatively large space with a lawn recently trimmed. Though beautiful and calm, it was empty. Several times, I thought of planting a tree there or maybe some flowers, but stubborn as I was sometimes, and different from other people, I would like to plant myself, the problem is that I didn't know what kind of plant to choose, nor did I have time to do this. So the yard was still half empty, though its space was soon filled by my little boy, as soon as he began to walk and run, playing there.

"Bri, are you okay?" I turned in the house, seeing Chrissie walk towards me "you've been so long there ..."

"Just thinking too much," I extended my arm so she curled up next to me, "as usual, and you and our baby?" Are you better now?"

"A little, you know that airiness is common, even if it's uncomfortable," she replied, since I remembered her long sighs over dinner.

"I had an idea," I said, what my mind had just imagined, "it's already too late to go to Hyde Park, let's look at the stars here in the backyard? The fresh air will do you good."

"Wow, that sounds pretty nice," my wife nodded, nodding in agreement. "It was amazing how I'd never thought of that before ..."

"It may be another tradition of ours." I shrugged and smiled.

A little later we were lying on the grass of the yard, under a sheet a little more worn than the others in the house. Our gaze was fixed on the luminous stars above us, my right hand was on Chrissie's belly, which was now high from the perspective of my vision. Yeah, it really was closer now, but there was still an important issue to decide.

"We didn't pick a name yet," I said aloud, and felt the baby moving under my hand, which made me smile "we are still in doubt and now more than ever we must decide."

"Well, I don't like Harold." Chrissie engaged in the conversation. "As much as I love your father, you already have the name Harold, we don't have to repeat it."

"So I guess you don't like Brian May Jr. then?" I joked, but I would never be able to give my name to my son, as Chrissie didn't like to repeat names, it gave the impression that I wanted the child to be just like me, and that wasn't exactly good, I wanted my son to had his own identity, not a copy of mine.

"No, no, it's very lacking in creativity" she looked at me and said rather complaining "and you're very creative, so help me with more suggestions."

"Well, I'm helping, my love," I decided to stop the jokes. "What do you think of Peter or Jonathan?"

"Yeah, they're common names, which is not bad." Chrissie frowned, considering "I want our son to have a very normal name, don't abuse of your fame to put a weird name on our baby."

"What?" I had to laugh "I would never do that, I think it's horrible artists giving strange names to their children, besides, I think how other kids can tease them at school, no, I don't want this for our boy."

"But you know it might be a girl, too," Chrissie pointed out, "have you thought of a girl's name?"

"Uh ..." I tried to remember one of them, "Jane and Mary just came to mind."

"They're good names, but ..." My wife made an indecisive grimace, "I don't know, maybe not ..."

"And again we didn't decide a name." I nodded, seeing that our conversation was going around in circles "well, let's do it like this, tell me a boy's name you like, regardless of whether I like it or not, say first, then we see if we choose this or not."

"All right, Mr. Practical" Chrissie nodded "since we agreed on a common name, I choose James, I think it's common but beautiful."

"James is really beautiful," I agreed, and it seemed we had settled the matter "James May ... sounds very good ..."

"Yeah ..." Chrissie looked at me, and I saw the emotion in her eyes.

We shared the same feeling, preparing ourselves to be officially parents in practice.

That same week, Chrissie went into labor in the middle of the night, and as soon as I realized what was going on, I acted with caution and practice, knowing exactly what to do by anticipating the moment. However, when I separated from her in the hospital, I was a little afraid of leaving her alone, but I understood that it was something she should go through on her own. It was as it had to be. I only looked at her one last time before she came into the room, encouraging her, reminding her that she was going to get through it.

All I could do was sit and wait. Roger and Dominique were the first to arrive and John, Veronica and Freddie arrived together. When I saw them approaching, they looked back at me with a mixture of wonder and worry.

"Calm down, man," Roger said and patted my shoulder, as he always did when I needed it "I know it's hard to wait, but soon, we'll meet the little May."

"Yeah, that scares me, isn't it weird?" I threw it out, provoking more confused faces of my friends "because I waited so long for this, but now that I'm about to live, I'm scared to death, and neither wanted nor should be afraid."

"Brian, don't avoid to feel what's normal," John told me sensibly, "that's all part of it, and believe me, it happens, you learn every day how to do what you need, and you, It will do very well."

"Thank you," I smiled, a little embarrassed, "but you know that not knowing what's happening is driving me crazy too ..."

"No, Chrissie's all right," Freddie snapped, unconcerned. "She's one of the strongest people I know."

"Everything's going to be all right, Brian, remember when Robert and Michael were born?" Veronica reminded me "it took a while, but in the end me and the boys were very well."

"It's like Rog said, you'll soon meet your son, nothing will stop this, have faith," Dominique told me in her best voice of wisdom.

I just nodded and sighed, it was impossible not to be nervous, and then I just accepted the feeling. A little while later, a nurse came to me.

"Mr. May?" she asked for confirmation and I nodded "the baby just born, is a strong and healthy boy."

I laughed with joy at hearing that description, and the emotion left me half paralyzed, which was confusing, since it should have pushed me to run, but had the opposite effect. I looked at my friends for protection.

"Go on, dummie, go and see your boy, then we'll go," Roger hastened, gesturing.

I turned and followed the nurse. As soon as I entered the room, I was astonished to see only Chrissie, as relieved and happy as I was to see my wife well, there was no sign of my son. She explained that he had been taken to the routine exams, and when he finally returned, my Chrissie made sure I caught James on my lap. With all the fear in the world, I did as she asked, but I didn't regret my fear. My son was simply beautiful, so much like his mother. I looked at him, waiting for him to look back at me, and when he recognized my face, identifying me as his father, even if in some simpler way, my heart beat stronger, motivated by the great love I felt for my little one right there in my arms.

When Chrissie mentioned the guys, I remembered Freddie's mania for nicknames, and then I suggested we call James Jimmy, she agreed. A little later, everyone came to meet our boy. Amid sarcastic remarks and sincere congratulations, I was still trying to cope with the thrill that my little boy was right there, and now my life would change a lot, certainly for the better, just because Jimmy was a part of it now.

When we finally got home, all I wanted was to stay close to Chrissie and Jimmy. I watched her put him to sleep, and after she'd said good night to our little boy, it was my turn.

"Sleep with the angels, my sweetheart," I sighed, looking at him, asleep. "I love you very much, my son ..."

I felt my heart a little tight to leave him in his room, I knew he was close to me, in the same house, and I could get up as soon as he cried, but this first kind of farewell was difficult. Gradually we adapted our routine to the baby, which meant that Chrissie spent more time with Jimmy, taking care of him as we agreed. That was why I made him sleep while she rested.

It was incredible how Jimmy reacted to my voice, whether I was talking to him, or humming some melody to make him sleep. His eyes were glazed, as his ears sharpened, attentive to the sound I produced.

"That's Daddy's voice," I whispered to him. "Remember when I talked to you when you were still in Mommy's belly? Remember, remember?"

Jimmy's response to me was typical cute little baby noises, one of the first few times he started trying to talk, I know it was too soon for that, but my optimistic and somewhat precocious head, I admit, processed his noises like that. My little boy gave me a sour smile, laughing and holding out his hand to me, touching my nose at last.

"You're very clever, Jimmy May!" I kissed his little face, lifting him up in the air, holding him up just a little, his reaction reminded me a lot when Chrissie woke up in my lap a few years ago, I decided to snuggle him next to my chest again, which seemed to me safer.

"What are you two doing?" My wife came into the room. "I seem to have heard Jimmy laughing."

"Yeah, he just learned to laugh, isn't he amazing?" I confirmed, and looked at Jimmy, expecting him to laugh again.

It was only to look at his mother that he gave a laugh, which made it clear how happy he was to see her. Chrissie smiled back, and looking at my wife and my son, I thought I would do anything to keep them happy as they made me feel.


	31. Growing up

It was amazing to see how Jimmy was growing every day, it seemed that months had flown since he was born and, as I learned to change diapers with more practice, decipher what each of his chirping meant, among other things, he learned to crawl. If I put him on the ground, he was a bit afraid at first, but struggling, he moved his legs quickly, raising his hands in a coy manner.

There was a time when he came to me crawling when I had just arrived from the studio. Realizing it was Daddy there, Jimmy looked up, with a huge smile, which was formed by two front teeth, another sign that my baby was getting older.

Before he learned to walk, his paternal and maternal grandparents came to see him. Chrissie's parents arrived first, spending a weekend with us. My in-laws admired their little grandson and the fact that he had drawn the traces of their family, but still wondering how things were at home and with the band.

"It's been about a year since Chrissie's been ... your assistant, isn't it?" asked Mrs. Mullen, sounding more worried than curious, with Jimmy on her lap "and she worked with you during pregnancy? I mean, it wasn't too hard for her, because of the trips, and the shows were finished late, everything went well during this period?"

"Yes, Mama, I insisted on working," my wife said promptly, "do you really think I could stand still for long?"

"You know very well that you can be very quiet when you want to," Mr Mullen pointed and laughed "but on second thought, it's good for you to always be close to Brian, if anything happened, he was right there to help you."

"Well, that happened the day Jimmy was born," I agreed with him, "we were asleep, but I was ready for everything."

"We believe it, my dear," Mrs. Mullen giggled "you're always so watchful and wary. What about Queen, Brian? We saw the last album, "News of the World", isn't it? Your friend Freddie has a great voice, not that you are not talented either, you, Roger and John, right?"

"That's right," I nodded, glad that my mother-in-law remembered my friends. "Thank you for enjoying our work, Mrs. Mullen, it makes me very happy, really."

"She thrilled with the guitar solos and your voice," Mr. Mullen said, in the midst of laughter "every time she acknowledges it's you, she says "Look, dear, it's Brian!" And if anyone mentions Queen for her, she tells the guitarist is our son-in-law."

"You really do that?" I felt myself shrinking, a little embarrassed.

"Mom, Mom, that's kind of bragging, I wasn't expecting it from you." Chrissie was surprised by her mother's behavior, even reprimanding her a little.

"No, it's not bragging, it's pride, your Brian really is a brilliant artist, and I'm glad he's part of the family," my mother-in-law explained, looking at me with a kind expression that reminded me of Chrissie's.

"Don't feel embarrassed about it, Brian," my father-in-law told me this time. "We're proud of you, of course being a musician is a very unlikely job, but thank God it worked and you can take care of Chrissie and Jimmy working with something that you like, with calmness and stability, for me, to know that my daughter and grandson are well because you love them very much is more important."

"Thank you, thank you very much." I looked at the Mullens, moved by their compliments.

I always tried to please them and fulfill their expectations of myself, and knowing that they supported my career made me even calmer. Despite the support of my wife's family, I didn't have the full support of my father, although Mom always understood me. That's why when they came to meet Jimmy, we avoided this subject to the fullest. It seemed that Chrissie had talked to my parents much more than I did, filling our conversations with Jimmy's many cute stories, the way he crawled, how he laughed, how he grimaced when he smelled broiled broccoli. That was the prevailing topic of our conversations during my parents' stay, with Jimmy being the center of attention.

It was a great and joyful surprise when we heard our son say his first words. It happened so suddenly, in such an unlikely place, and what he said couldn't be more perfect.

"Weh pesue," my boy repeated during our recording of Queen's clips in Roger's backyard, and it wasn't long before I understood that Jimmy meant Red Special, which filled me with pride. His first words had been the name of my beloved guitar, something so close to me that it showed how much my son was paying attention to Dad, which made me happy and flattered.

I saw him speak, and continue to better formulate his vocabulary as time passed, then adding "Ma" and "Pa", which he confused with "Bri", but I wasn't present at the moment he took his first steps. I was in the studio when it happened, but as soon as I got home, instead of crawling, Jimmy gave me slow, undecided steps, still getting the hang of the new thing for him that was walking.

"Oh, my God, Jimmy!" I exclaimed, surprised and raising my voice, he looked at me strangely "calm, I didn't mean to frighten you."

I lowered myself to his height, which made him grin.

"Since when did you start walking?" I asked in wonder.

"Bri!" He held up a hand in answer.

"Yes, that's Daddy!" I laughed with joy at his calling me.

I picked Jimmy up, looking for Chrissie, to learn more about our son's great achievement.

"How did it happen, my love?" I wanted to know as soon as I saw her, and she understood exactly what I was talking about.

"He was playing in the living room," my wife reminded, smiling as she told me, "then she stood up suddenly and walked up to me, still saying "Ma."

"Soon you'll be running, my angel," I said excitedly to my little boy, who grimaced as he struggled to understand what I was saying.

And it didn't take long for him to learn to run, I used to accompany him in the games in the yard, being careful not to get hurt. The impression I had was that my little boy had grown up a little more from day to night, although I was present in each of his discoveries.

Discoveries that got bigger and bigger, like when we traveled to Paris together, Jimmy's first big trip away from home. With all her concern for being a mother, Chrissie wondered if it would be appropriate to travel with a small child, but as I always assured her that it would be all right, it would be better for us to have Jimmy under our care and would be the perfect opportunity for our little one to explore the world.

Jimmy tried to capture every new thing he came across in Paris, enchanted by so much new things. When we got together to record in the studio, he would sit very quiet next to Chrissie, just looking at what we were doing.

And that was one of Jimmy's main characteristics, his attention and curiosity to everything around him, which reminded me of myself as a child. But he didn't hesitate to ask us when he didn't understand something, and if there was one thing he was always willing to do was learn.

There was a time when I was composing at home and I had to pause, leaving the Red Special on the pedestal, and Jimmy approached my old lady half hesitantly but fascinated by the instrument.

"Did you want to learn to play?" I asked him, which frightened him a little.

"Uh hum" he had the courage to answer me "ir's so beautiful ..."

"Yes, it is," I agreed, thinking that my son might be referring to both its appearance and its sound "I think we have time to teach you now, what do you think, Jimmy?"

"Yes, I want it!" He raised his arms excitedly.

He just laughed in response, picking up the Red Special, with Jimmy following me into the living room, half bouncing for his excitement.

"What are you going to do, my loves?" my wifewanted to know, interested in our plans.

"I'm going to play Red Special just like Daddy," Jimmy said, proud of himself, which made his mother almost cry because of his cuteness.

"Okay, Jimmy, let's see," Chrissie encouraged.

I sat my boy in front of me, and I placed the guitar in his lap, placing Jimmy's little hand on the Red Special's arm, pressing his fingers gently so that he had enough strength to mark the chord. I tucked his right hand over the strings, and moving it down, I helped him play back. He laughed, glad to hear the sound, in a way to celebrate what he had managed to do, something else that I had done a lot and he had pulled from me.

We played three more chords until Jimmy said an "oh!" sound. It was just a word, but I was afraid I'd done something wrong.

"It hurts, daddy ..." Jimmy showed me his left hand and I understood.

"Yeah, it hurts really," I blew out his hand. "Sorry, my angel, I didn't want to hurt you."

"Okay," Jimmy replied, dealing with it much better than I did, that sweet understanding could only come from his mother.

"Who knows when you're older, you can try again, right?" Chrissie suggested to Jimmy, who nodded and then when to play with something else.

"I didn't even remember how the left hand usually hurts because of the chords," I said, still worried. "I remember that my hand hurt when I learned to play, and I didn't associate one thing with another."

"It was only because of the excitement," Chrissie smiled. "Don't blame yourself for an accident, my love, it was no big deal."

"Okay," I said at last, but still wondering if I didn't get excited just because Jimmy wanted to do something that I did, insisting that he be like me.

Gradually I left that thought there, seeing that Jimmy pursued his own interests and built a unique personality. One taste he inherited from us that certainly wasn't imposed was to like Doctor Who. He was all excited to hear the opening of the show and very attentive when the episode began. On top of that, Jimmy always slept with his stuffed dalek, which was his favorite toy.

So my little one was smart, intelligent, and worried like his mother. If I looked very serious, or very sad, or even angry, even if I was afraid, Jimmy would ask me if I was okay. I smiled at that little irony, my little boy worried about me, taking care of me, when I should be taking care of him like that. These little attitudes only made me prouder of him.

And the same concern extended to his mother. Jimmy was four years old when Chrissie fell asleep once after a show, which was very atypical for her. Of course she slept very easy, but not in that way. As I helped her up the stairs and tucked her in our bed, Jimmy watched my effort, then looked at her, trying to figure out what Chrissie had.

"I think we'd better let Mama rest," I told Jimmy, touching his shoulder.

"Are you sure, Dad? I'd better wait here, I'm not sure she's okay, do you?" He looked at me, almost begging to stay.

"I'm sure it's no big deal, Jimmy, she's just tired" and as I said that, an idea popped through my head, I shuddered a little at what I conjectured, which made Jimmy more confused "huh ... it's better you go to bed too, we'll talk to Mom tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay," he agreed, and I picked him up and carried him to his room, putting him to sleep.

He lay down, straightened his blanket, and put his dalek on his side.

"Well, good night, my little angel," I said, but Jimmy wasn't satisfied.

"Sing a song to me to sleep, please, Dad," he said, and I couldn't deny it.

His favorite was "'39," ever since he was a baby, he slept at the sound of Chrissie singing it.

"In the year of thirty-nine assembled here the volunteers  
In the days when lands were few  
Here the ship sailed out into the blue and sunny morning  
The sweetest sight ever seen ... "

And then Jimmy closed his eyes, breathing deeply. And before I slept too, the thought of an almost real possibility came to me again. Perhaps this time everything was easier, yet it was necessary to prepare for another great gift of life.


	32. A little brother

I woke up the next day and Chrissie was still asleep, I didn't have the courage to wake her, she really looked tired last night, so I left her there for a bit.

While preparing breakfast, I saw Jimmy coming down the stairs. It was strange that he woke up so early, since he would wake up more or less in an hour.

"Good morning, son," I called as he came closer to me. "Is everything okay? You woke up so early ... What do you want to eat?"

"Um ... Milk and toast ..." he decided, still yawning and scratching his eyes "where's mommy?"

"She still hasn't woken up," I said, but he still looked uncomfortable.

"Can't we go there and see her?" Jimmy insisted, a little annoyed.

"We'll just find her sleeping," I pondered, "but eat something and we'll take a look at her, may we?"

"Okay," Jimmy said softly, and went to his breakfast.

I was moved by how he cared for Chrissie, but I too was beginning to be as apprehensive as my son. Besides, I was still dealing with the idea I had thought the night before. Maybe it was just a coincidence with her excess sleep, and the only reason was really tiredness, but it was impossible for me to forget what had happened the last time she felt this way. Looking at Jimmy just made me believe it more.

I swallowed some coffee at once, taking courage to clear up all this idea at once. I didn't have to say anything for Jimmy to follow me, understanding that I was going to see his mother. When we met Chrissie, she was still asleep and I sighed in concern, I thought it was wrong to wake her up on purpose, so without further options, I just stared at her. Jimmy alternated between looking at me and his mother, also kind of lost. We had our hopes renewed when she began to open her eyes.

"What is it? I overslept?" said Chrissie, still sleepy.

"Mom is not well," said our son, surely.

"Oh, Jimmy, I didn't see you there," she turned to him. "Of course I'm fine, my love, just tired and sleepy."

"There's a reason you started to feel so sleepy," I said firmly, coming closer to her. "It's no wonder, it's a symptom of something, and if you're sick, we have to find out what it is."

I saw her eyes focusing on me, something that Chrissie was doing when she formulated an idea. Surely she thought of something surprising, her eyes widened at the realization.

"What is it? Do you suspect anything?" I had to know if it was the same thing I suspected.

"I don't know, I confess that I came to think of it, if I'm not mistaken, it may be ..." she stammered and when she looked at me again, I was sure we were thinking the same thing "I ..."

"You what? Don't give me a heart attack, Chrissie!" I asked, desperate for a concrete answer.

"I think there's a chance I'm pregnant again," she said aloud, what we were thinking.

"But are you sure?" Maybe not, but by the way, at least the last time, you had those weird symptoms" of course I wanted to make sure of that completely, without ruling out that it might not be either.

"It may be," said Chrissie, "but I don't know, we just have to find out."

We stood for a moment in silence, contemplating the possibility of soon having another child. Having to take care of two children involved so much, but despite all this, I was happy, anxious to finally know if that was what was happening. And if that was so, I was ready to support Chrissie, to love and care for another child to come. I looked at her meaningfully, as if to say "it's going to be great if it's true, we just need to find out if that's right." My wife looked back, agreeing with me, getting up to leave.

"What's going on, Mom?" Jimmy was startled to see her rise so suddenly.

"We'll just find out, my love, we'll know it very soon," Chrissie told him, and we watched her leave.

"Where did Mom go? And why didn't she say goodbye? Isn't not polite? Dad, Mom is not sick anymore, right? Since she got up and got to her feet ... " Jimmy filled me with questions as we waited, and I didn't blame him for that.

"Um ... she's anxious and in a hurry to find out something that we think happened Jimmy" I tried to explain the best I could, also nervous.

"And what happened? Mama's going to tell me what she found out, won't she?" My little boy wanted to be sure.

"She will, yes, she will need to tell us," I assured him, and his curiosity seemed to calm down.

"So I expect Mom to come back and tell me," Jimmy decided, I think he realized I had no way of answering what he wanted.

He was calmer and quieter until Chrissie arrived, she just waved at me, indicating that she had come home, but I waited a little longer for the answer I wanted so badly. When Chrissie entered the room again, she only gave me the pregnancy test. Without hesitation, I looked at the result and my first reaction was to hug my wife, not believing what was happening, which we were only imagining, was very real now. I ended up celebrating the news with a kiss, and when we parted, Jimmy looked at us in the most confused way he could by now.

"You're going to have a baby brother, Jimmy," I explained, approaching him.

"A brother?" he was slightly astonished "like Bobby and Mike, and Felix and Rory? And what is he going to be called?"

"We still don't know my love, but it may also be a little sister," Chrissie said.

"And when's he coming?" Our son came back with the questions "will you get him? At the hospital? He already arrived? Can we get him now?"

"This is not how things work, Jimmy," I decided to interrupt his questions in the most delicate way possible.

"Oh ... It's one of those things we have to wait for, the baby's going to take a while to get born, isn't it? And it comes from Mommy's belly, just like a puppy," said Jimmy, glad to understand the whole process alone.

"Yeah, that's kind of it," Chrissie summed it up, kissing Jimmy's little face, who hugged her, still not quite understanding what was happening, but still glad.

It wasn't long before we had an important conversation about what it would be like to have another baby. I never thought about how many children I would have, deep down I always thought of more than one, however, I couldn't guess that we would have another baby with Jimmy still so small. In my mind, I was imagining another scenario, as if our second child were born when Jimmy was older, maybe it would be better, because we could pay more attention to the baby with Jimmy being more independent. But life prepared another time for our other little one to come to the world, and for me, that wasn't a problem. I loved him before he was born, no matter how long he came. Chrissie and I would continue our teamwork of being the parents of a little boy and a baby.

"Yeah, everyone already knows," sighed my Chrissie before we slept, on a night of the week when we told the news to our friends and relatives, "and even though I've been through it, it's exciting the same way ..."

"Yes, of course it is," I said, looking rather emotional, looking at her, "it's going to be quite different to be the parents of two children, since we don't have siblings ..."

"Well, we just can't have favoritism" my wife solved the question I was just thinking "and that's not going to happen, because we love Jimmy and the baby alike, it's like school, treat all students equally, independently of being more rebellious or more obedient ... Hmmm, and who said we don't have siblings? We may not have grown up with biological brothers, but Bri, I consider Freddie, John and Roger as my brothers."

"You're right, I love them, even when they make me angry," I chuckled. "It's just ... well, we're trained with everything we've learned from Jimmy, but there's one thing still ..."

"What?" Chrissie couldn't figure it out.

"You thought it was a girl this time?" "I ... I mean, you know, I was kind of shy about talking to girls, I'm afraid I'm not being able to communicate with her right, and I create that communication difficulty, and I don't want to stay away from my daughter, I want her to know that she can count on me and that I love her very much ..."

"Bri, calm down," Chrissie's mouth writhed in an attempt to hold on to not laughing, I knew I was sounding silly, but it was a real fear, and I knew she would understand me "we don't know if it's a boy or even a girl, and even if it's a girl, you're going to be a wonderful father to her too, you're careful, patient, and she'll love you for being that way to her. It's difficult, but not so much, and if you need help, I'm here. Remember, teamwork? We'll have plenty of time for her to arrive ... But there's also the possibility of us having two boys."

"If it's a boy, I'll make him be as good-tempered as Jimmy," I wished aloud.

"Maybe he won't be," Chrissie pointed out, laughing, "but rest assured, my love, it will be all right, as it was the first time."

"Yes, thank you," I agreed with her, nodding. "Good night, my darling."

I kissed her and patted her belly before going to sleep, it was my goodbye to our little child who hadn't yet been born.

Again, I was attentive to every step and action of Chrissie, ready to help her in whatever she needed, but this time, she had a little helper on that mission. Jimmy was as attentive as I was when it came to his mother, and just as Chrissie and I were thinking about what it would be like to have another baby, Jimmy was getting ready to have a brother.

In a moment when we were alone, I saw my son quiet and thoughtful, certainly concentrated in a thought that was sucking all his energy.

"What is it Jimmy?" I asked and he looked at me, approaching me to reduce the distance from our height difference.

"It's just ... I don't know what it's like to have a baby brother," he said, half-uncertain, averting his eyes from mine.

"Oh, I understand." I was a bit surprised at what he was thinking, he had barely turned four and was so worried about the changes in the family, like me and his mother-well, first, you're going to have someone to help us caring, someone who will be your friend, and you will help him while growing up, I think it's more or less like that..."

I sighed as I finished talking, since I was an only child and I didn't really know how to answer Jimmy's question with practical experience, but as Chrissie said, I had experience being a "brother" to my friends.

"It doesn't seem that difficult," Jimmy murmured, considering my answer.

"You'll see that when the baby's here, you'll know exactly what to do, son," I encouraged Jimmy, hoping he'd rest easy about it.

"Yeah," he said simply, accepting my advice.

And so Jimmy seemed to have figured out how to act about his brother from now on. If I had an idea I was already getting used to, it's how much my two children would be different from each other. Beginning with the gestation itself, since Jimmy always moved a lot while the new baby barely moved, which made us worried. During the routine exams, Dr. Carter assured us that everything was okay with the baby, it was just his characteristic of being more quiet.

That always made me talk to him, which made him always react to my voice moving. This whole reaction caused a certain jealousy in Chrissie, she thought that the baby only paid attention to me, which wasn't true, after all she was his mother, who was generating him, much more related to him than me in a certain way. Despite all this thinking, I didn't know how to respond to Chrissie's motive for the baby to behave like that, which made her laugh at my indecision. And just his laugh was what made the baby move. Motivated by this, my wife gave me the idea of playing to see if the baby reacted to the song. The song of the time was "Doing All Right," suggested by Jimmy, who had the privilege of feeling his little brother moving under his hand while their mother and I sang together.

At that moment there with my family, I remembered what my father had told me on my wedding day, I was sure that because of our love for each other, everything would work out.


	33. Acceptance

That quiet moment with my family was interrupted by a call, which Chrissie got up to answer. Paying distracted attention to who she was talking to, I soon discovered that my father had called. The subject of the conversation was Queen's touring trip to New York, and I didn't quite understand how the conversation went right on that topic. I noticed then that she was talking to my father.

I was sure he was saying something about the band, how bad it was that we had to travel again, and everything. I saw how embarrassing Chrissie was that I had to respond to this, and, creating the courage, especially to avoid my wife's embarrassment, I gestured for her to give me the phone. She did so, and in her gaze I felt her concern.

"Hi, Dad, it's me," I told him, then prepared to hear the worst.

"Hi, Chrissie said you're going to travel to New York, we were planning to visit you," my father said, annoyed by the setback.

"Yes, I know, I know, but next week we're here," I tried to remedy.

"Brian, it's been a long time since we've been there, and I managed to get organized to see you, and you're really going exchange a visit of your parents for the band?" he said firmly, which made me feel guilty.

"No, no, don't do that, look, I ..." I was so shocked that I lost my words, and suddenly I felt incredible courage, a willingness to prove to him once and for all how wrong he was "Calm down, just give me a chance, okay?"

I asked him, begging him to listen to me, and taking a deep breath to be able to say what I would say next.

"Would you like to go to New York and see me play?"

"What?" My father was astonished."Brian, are you crazy?"

"I'm not going crazy, I'm serious, really!" I didn't let myself down and insisted.

"Do you really want me and your mother to come?" Dad wanted to be sure "Because the way you said it, I think it's important for you we being there, so even though you know I wouldn't go to such an event ... I guess that's why I can make an effort to go, perhaps."

"Will you?" I was startled by his confirmation, but I remained calm. "I trust your word."

"If I said I will, it's because we'll go, I promise," he declared again, "we'll see each other in America, by the way ... take care of yourself son, I love you."

"Okay, bye, I love you too," I hung up, startled by what I'd just been able to do.

My expression of astonishment must have alarmed Chrissie, who approached slowly, with a certain fear of my reaction.

"It's all right?" She touched my shoulder and looked at me expectantly.

"My parents are going to New York to see a Queen show," I told her, still amazed. "It was difficult, but I convinced him."

"Um ... What do you expect will happen?" Chrissie asked just what I was beginning to think.

"That he won't hate me for that," I confessed, thinking that after all, that was how my father would react.

Without saying anything else, my wife just offered me a hug, and I held her with all my might. I knew it was necessary for me to have this moment with my father, to deal with his opinion about me being a professional musician, I just didn't know if I would be totally ready for it when I met him again.

I couldn't sleep properly that night. Sometimes I had these bouts of lack of sleep, which I couldn't characterize as insomnia itself. But my lack of sleep had a very specific reason, because of the decision I made. I couldn't stop thinking about how my father would react after the show, if he would complain about every detail and point out all the negative aspects of my lifestyle.

For me, there was nothing much in how we reorganized our lives because of the band, it was a different way, a life different from most people, but that didn't change the fact that I was a father and a husband, and I struggled to every day, every moment to be the best I could be. From the moment I decided to marry Chrissie, I put it into my head that my priority from now on would be to take care of her and be there, supporting her whenever she needed to. The same came to my heart when Jimmy was born and now extended to our unborn baby. It didn't matter if I was a member of a band and a guitarist, I took care of my family in the middle of a rock star routine. The problem was that my father thought one thing didn't fit the other. I just hoped to be able to prove him otherwise.

Because of my lack of sleep at dawn, I ended up sleeping more than usual. I wasn't late because Chrissie was watching me, pondering whether to wake me or not. Anyway, she made me wake up, and I was grateful for that. We had breakfast together, and after lunch, we headed to the airport.

We didn't talk much until we embarked, because of the rush of preparations. Deep down, I was afraid to talk and have to say that I was beginning to regret inviting my parents to see us. Now it was too late, I'd already paid for the tickets and the hotel, and they were probably on their way.

Instead of facing the window, or Chrissie and Jimmy in front of me, I was distracted by my camera, since I used to carry it with me during the plane trips. My wife and son were involved in a conversation about the sky and they seemed so perfect that I couldn't resist capturing the moment. Jimmy noticed and questioned me, but he didn't think it was bad.

I looked at Chrissie and automatically knew that she understood very well what was going on in my head at that moment. Gentle and wise as always, my sweet lady advised me to be positive, that someday my father would accept that what I did was something good that I loved doing and did very well. Chrissie's words comforted my heart at that moment.

With each passing minute, I was convinced that I had to face and resolve this dilemma at once. That's why when we got to the hotel, which was the same as my parents would be, I made a point of checking how they were. Again, Chrissie advised me to do this later.

And glad I listened to her because I didn't know if I would have the courage to speak to my father in that situation alone. Mom even joked that it seemed like I was hiding behind Chrissie when she saw us.

"Dad," I managed to say when I saw him.

"Son," he answered my single word.

I looked at my father in anticipation of his reaction, and before our meeting, we were just glad to see each other, which yielded in a hug, which was a relief to me, sign that he still loved me despite my choices of life.

"Did you have a good trip?" I wanted to know right away.

"Oh, yes, Brian, it was a very quiet trip, thank you for everything, son." My mother smiled at me.

Despite the warm smile, I still felt uncomfortable.

"I ... I've got a rehearsal shortly, and I'm going to have to go to the stadium too early to get the final details on the show, so Chrissie's going to to accompany you when it's time to go, okay?" I told my parents.

"Okay." Mom accepted the arrangement loudly while Dad nodded, I didn't know if it was a good or bad sign.

"Okay, see you later." I left in a hurry because of the nervousness and the commitment to the band.

During the rehearsal, I used the old technique of focusing on what I was doing, and letting myself worry about my dad only after the show. Seeing Jimmy and Chrissie there supporting me made me more relieved.

We returned to the hotel, and before I returned to Madison Square Garden, Chrissie gave me some more advice, reminding me that everything would be all right. I thought that if I were someone else in my place I would lose my patience with her for being so repetitive, but I was grateful because my Chrissie knew that I needed her words of comfort constantly that night.

I stared at the night of work like all the others, with the usual nervousness of playing for a new audience, increased a little more just because my parents were there. It's not like they've never even seen me play, but as a professional artist at a show of that magnitude was the first time. I took a deep breath several times before they called us to start the show.

"Is everything alright there, Bri?" Freddie asked and soon Roger and John joined him, approaching me "if it's not okay, no problem we can think of a solution to your absence."

"No, no, not at all," I denied firmly, "today more than ever I need to play, it's just ... I didn't want to talk to not worry anyone, it's kind of personal, but my parents are here ..."

"I understand," Freddie's expression mingled with sorrow and understanding.

"Well, I know that Mr. May is not very easy, but man, take this chance to do your best" Roger encouraged me.

"That's what I'm going to do, as Chrissie told me." I smiled at their support.

"And she's always right," John pointed out.

I just smiled and nodded, remembering that I wouldn't face this show alone, my friends were there supporting me. I felt our union at the very beginning of the performance, with me and Roger on a solo, accompanying each other. When I found myself, I let each of the songs take me, enjoying the sound, but focused on what I was doing. We closed the show, and it was only then that the memory of having to talk to my parents weighed on me. However, our presentation was over, and had been one of the best we have done.

I just went back to the dressing room with the boys, trying to decide what to do when my dad would talk to me. I met my parents with Chrissie, Jimmy was already sleeping on my mother's lap, and I gently took my boy from her arms.

"I loved the show, son!" Mom said after that, completely enthusiastic "everything is so full of energy, and the songs are so much better live, and your Red Special! You use it until today ..."

"Oh yes, the old lady has always been my life partner." I was happy, but sheepish that she had noticed it.

"Old lady, proper name, I must say," my father finally said something in a low tone of voice.

"What did you think, Dad?" I preferred to ask soon, preparing myself for the worst.

"It was an excellent experience," he said in his analytical tone. "It's not my kind of hobby, but it's a lot of people, since the place was full. And look, you get the hang of it, it's not because I'm your dad that I say it, it's because you're really talented. And I understand Brian, really, because you do it, it's something that you love to do and do so well, although there are pros and cons, I still don't think is good for Chrissie and Jimmy go with you around the world, but it would be worse if they stayed at home when you're away. Besides, this girl was all excited watching you play, sign that she loves you, and that's the most important, isn't it?"

"Yeah, that's right," I nodded contentedly at everything he said, feeling the tears coming. "I love being a guitarist, Dad, but first of all, I'm Chrissie's husband and Jimmy father and our baby's father, and nothing comes in front of it. But thank you Dad, for understanding me."

My father's response was the best I could hope for, he smiled and hugged me, pulling all the weight off my conscience and guilt that I felt for so long. Finally I had been completely in peace about it for the first time in my life.

A few days later, we returned to England, and I couldn't be happier, because it had finally been approved by my father, made him proud, doing one of the things I loved most.


	34. Disagreements

Every time we finished the release of an album, we started to think about the next one. I was anxious to know what my friends' inspirations would be this time and what we could create together, but all my expectation went downhill when I heard John's ideas.

"So you want to make a disco-style album?" it was too absurd, couldn't associate disco to Queen.

"Man, this has nothing to do with us," Roger said irritably, which made me glad I wasn't the only one with that opinion.

"It's not disco, it's Queen," John replied simply, as if that phrase could answer everything.

I knew very well what he meant, that we were an experimental band, that there wasn't a specific musical genre that limited us, but if there was something I never imagined we would do it was disco. It was clear that that was what influenced success at the time, and John found it interesting to make disco-inspired music, not to mention that it was one of his favorite rhythms.

Before I got any angrier, I decided to agree with him, just so we wouldn't fight further, but that doesn't mean I worked happily. And again, Roger shared the same feelings as me, we both felt frustrated and missed the old, beloved rock and roll.

The day we decided to make the disco album, I came home very bothered by it, and Jimmy and Chrissie noticed that I wasn't well. As always, my wife advised me to remain calm, since I felt completely lost and stressed, and hope that the rehearsals and the following recordings would be better. Unfortunately, for me, they weren't.

What made me almost lose my temper was the strict rule of not having a guitar in any song on the new record, something John hadn't only asked for, he had demanded.

"I don't want a guitar on any of the songs," Deacon said.

"Excuse me?" I said, "Sorry, John, but let me remind you, I've never done anything bad to you, and now you're pushing me aside why exactly, if you don't mind clarifying me?"

"Brian, it's nothing personal, seriously" he said half complaint "the album proposal is disco, disco music has no guitar, you just won't play guitar, but will continue composing and everything ..."

"Do you realize that you're simply taking away my main function in the band?" I tried to clarify, feeling my face begin to twitch with anger. "John, if I don't play, I'll feel useless."

"You're not useless Brian" Freddie stood up in my defense "see this as a chance to be more than a guitarist, to explore other of your many abilities."

I thought of so much that I wanted to say at the time, that they were being unfair to me, doing it on purpose and out of spite, making me feel like a worthless idiot, that even made me want to get out of there and leave them without a guitarist at once, since that was what they wanted. I just focused on them for a moment, controlling my anger, and just finding a way to keep myself from fighting with anyone. I didn't say anything until the rehearsal was over.

When Chrissie and I left, her gaze was filled with worry and pity as she stared at me.

"I'm not going to get any better until this record is over," I confessed, knowing she understood.

"I know ..." she let her response echo as she reflected "but ... if it's any consolation, I didn't like the songs you recorded today either."

"My love, you're not saying this just to please me, right?" I thought that was the reason my wife would say such a thing.

"I don't know if this was a criticism or a compliment, but look at me, Bri, and see if I'm lying," she said and I looked into her eyes. "Queen playing disco... As much as I love the album. I love playing rock and other genres here and there, but Brian, really, disco doesn't suit you."

"It's the best thing you could say to me today" as always, her words were like a remedy to my doubts.

"Now you're saying this to please me," she said, but with a certain joking tone.

"No, it's not," I said sure, as I laughed.

Despite that happy moment that helped me calm down, with each passing day, things got worse and my feelings were all about irritation and self-pity.

It was because I was already so defensive, thinking that John had chosen disco just to annoy me, that I saw the lyrics of his Back Chat as a great offense in disguise.

"It's not a hint to me, is it?" I wanted to know the truth.

"Brian, you're very paranoid," John said with some anger at me, "it's just a song about lack of patience, who never had anyone who makes us loose our temper? It's that what it is, and why do you want to know? We never questioned the inspiration of the songs, why now, are you doing this?"

"I just wanted to know," I answered, before the rage escaped.

My only consolation was to write something with Red Special while I was waiting for John, Freddie and Roger to decide something. Before we all played together again, I suggested putting a guitar solo in the song.

"What part of no guitar you don't understand?" John exploded "it's disco! No guitar! But you have to have your moment to shine, don't you?"

"Shut up, John," I heard Roger say as he processed the teasing.

I had endured so much until now, but what Deaky said was certainly meant to hurt me, and I was tired of holding all the rage as John poured all his onto me. I had to fight back.

"I told you that you wanted to take my role, it's clear now that's what you wanted to do!" I imposed myself, taking advantage of being taller than him "I didn't compose the solo for nothing, you will put my solo in the song!"

"We won't!" John denied.

"Brian!" I was scared, getting to shake when recognizing Chrissie's voice so high "if John asked to not have a solo, forget about it."

"Are you on his side now?" "I felt betrayed that my wife hadn't given me the reason, and I ended up using the same tone of voice.

"I'm on the side of the four of you to be friends again, and if you understand," she continued, "just play and stop arguing."

I was shocked that she'd yelled at us like that, but her words had the effect of shutting us up.

"John, let Brian's solo be part of the song, we're not going to change anything, just add that," Freddie said, his voice low.

"Okay," John said in annoyance.

We just recorded the freaking song and I was so angry that I didn't talk to anyone else. Just before we left, even angry with John, I realized the bullshit I did.

I had never yelled at Chrissie, ever since I had met her, she had never bothered me and all she wanted was our good and she did what she did because it was necessary. Of all my mistakes of the day, that had been the worst.

Before I started driving home, I stared at my wife, trying to figure out what to say, but Chrissie wouldn't even look back at me.

"Forgive me, Chrissie, I know that I what I did was very wrong, it was selfish of me, but I just wanted to contribute at least a little, and I was so angry at John that I let it slip, but I shouldn't want your support knowing I was wrong" I took a chance, opening myself, putting out everything I was feeling "my love, look at me, I promise it's me again, I'm sorry ..."

"I know it was unintentionally, Brian," Chrissie said softly, "but even so, this whole discussion shouldn't spill over into me, I'm not a member of Queen, I shouldn't make decisions for you, but it hurts too much to see you like that, I had to do something. And know what, Bri, I agree with you, but you should give in a little, accept John and Freddie's decisions better, it's their turn to do something they like musically, not yours. And ... I forgive you, of course I forgive you. But seriously, I'm pregnant and it's no good for me feel this nervous."

"Now that I owe you more excuses" I really had been an idiot for not even thinking about my baby, and even tried to touch Chrissie's belly, as a sign of showing my child that I was sorry, but I thought myself unworthy to do it, too guilty.

Chrissie just guided my hand over her belly, to my relief.

"Sorry, sweetheart," I sighed to the baby.

And even after a few hours of that studio incident, I still blamed myself too much. Chrissie was the sweetest creature in the world and I had the audacity to treat her like that, she didn't deserve to receive my anger at all.

"I never spoke like that to you ..." I said to her, still very guilty. "God, what happened to me?"

"It's all right now, I know you're really sorry ..." Chrissie hugged me, pulling me close to her. "This recording is driving you crazy, all of us ..."

"Even so, I felt so helpless and alone, with no one to support my opinion, I hoped you would ..." I tried to justify my behavior "no, you did right, you scolded me before something worse happened".

"That's all I meant," she explained.

"And I thank you for that", I truly felt that you were acquitted and forgiven.

Chrissie made me feel even better kissing my face, and I was grateful she understood me, even in my worst moments.

Still remorseful of the fights, I stayed quiet in the recordings of Hot Space, just doing my part and before we finished the album, the day arrived that our second child would be born. I had been so emotionally shaken over the past few days that my worry about the baby had multiplied.

"Is that right?" I asked Chrissie when she was already in the hospital room "aren't we early?"

"No, the day is today, I can assure you, my love," my wife clarified, "we just have to be patient."

"Okay," I sighed deeply, holding her hand, afraid to leave her alone.

"Calm down Bri, it's going to be all right." She gave me a reassuring smile.

"I'm surprised you're not nervous." I was surprised at her composure.

"Who says I'm not?" she contradicted my opinion "I'm just calmer because I've been through this, but just thinking about going through it all again ... Oh my God ..."

I realized she was as nervous as I was and we laughed together about it.

"Call the doctor, it will be now!" Chrissie warned me and I controlled myseld so I wouldn't panic.

"Okay, okay ..." I nodded vigorously, looking for Dr. Carter.

"My wife said she felt the baby coming," I said, as calmly as I could at the moment, and went back with the doctor to the room, watching her examine Chrissie.

"Mr. May, you can leave the room now, your wife and your child will be fine," Dr. Carter asked.

"I can't stay? Really? I ... she ... I love her, I don't want to leave her alone" after all the stress and hurt I caused her, I couldn't let her go through this moment alone, despite all the care of the medical staff, for me it was like if I was leaving Chrissie.

"I'm sorry, sir, we can only have the patient and the medical staff in the room, I promise you'll be the first to know when the baby is born," insisted the doctor, and I wasn't convinced yet.

"It's okay, Bri, I love you, I'll be fine, we'll be fine," Chrissie said taking my hand and kissing it, as in a farewell.

I had to accept that I had to go, even against my will, I smiled just to leave her alone, trying not to cry. But it was too late, the tears streamed down and I turned so that she didn't see me as desolate as I felt. I could only ask God to everything go well.


	35. Constant Truth

The waiting room looked terrible to me, even though it was the nicest possible place in the hospital, with armchairs, magazines and newspapers, and even the coffee shop was there. But none of those perks could calm me down, all I wanted was to stand beside my wife. I sat down then, partially defeated, but struggled to remember when I waited for Jimmy to be born, as I was less experienced, but ironically I was much calmer than now. I clung to the hope that, as it had gone well when our eldest son was born, everything would be all right now.

I was completely alone there, there was no one else waiting beside me, and I think even if I had, the strangers wouldn't help to escape the loneliness I was feeling. Aside from the constant concern with Chrissie and the baby, I began to think about when my "nephews" were born. With each new child of my friends coming in, there I was, supporting them, being part of that unique moment in their lives, but now that my second time had arrived, I didn't think I was worthy of their company. I admit that I had been a stubborn and perfectionist jerk, that I didn't accept the opinion of others at all, but however much I had reacted badly, John's choices still annoyed me. But taking the fight because of disco itself, the biggest problem was the great rupture in our friendship. What got pounded in my head was that if I hadn't fought with them, my friends would be there with me.

Taking away my agony, the nurse announced that the baby had been born, a girl, now I was also the father of a girl! My God, just what I feared, but then I'd worry about it, I just rushed my steps behind the nurse, finally being able to go see my wife and meet our daughter.

"Chrissie ..." I let her name echo, enchanting me with the sight of her in front of me, and with our little girl on her lap "it's ..."

"It's a girl, I know, we barely think about that possibility ..." she reminded, alternating between looking at me and her, "but she's here."

"I ..." I tried to confess something, even if we had debated very little about it !I never thought we were going to have a girl, you know ..."

"I know, I know, but I'm here to help you, don't forget that I'm here, Brian, I mean, not only in front of you, but whenever you need to," Chrissie said with sensitivity, but a certain firmness. watching a big space that I left between us "come on, she needs to meet her father."

After all I had thought while I waited, I also thought I wasn't worthy to be there with Chrissie, as much as I wished so much for it, I still felt guilty for yelling at her. But what she said left me calm at the moment, and how I wanted to see my little girl! So I did as my wife asked immediately.

"She's beautiful, so beautiful ..." I admired my little girl, taking one of her little hands, looking at her little face, noticing her similarities with me "choose her name, Chrissie, I know you already had girl names in mind."

I thought it was fair for Chrissie to choose our daughter's name, to repay a little of everything I had done as bad.

"Actually, my love, I have a perfect name," Chrissie decided. "Louisa, my little light, that took the darkness away."

"Louisa May ..." I said aloud, delighted to say her name, starting to cry as I watched Louisa again "really perfect."

Without another word, Chrissie handed me Louisa and I held her in my arms for the first time, promising myself that I would protect her from all evil, that I would always be by her side. Louisa looked back at me, with an innocent but piercing look, the color of her eyes a reflection of the color of mine, and even though she had only a few moments of life, I was sure she knew I was her father. We had this first moment together and soon after I thought it best to leave her with Chrissie again.

"Do you think I can be the father of a girl?" -I exposed my fear again, which had just grown now that Louisa had been born "I could barely talk to girls when I was younger, now being the father of a girl ... Will I be able to give good advice? Will I be able to understand her?"

"Have you forgotten what I just said, Brian Harold May?" Chrissie caught my attention "I'm here to help you, remember that being a parent is a team work? I think we've taken good care of Jimmy. And you're acting just like Roger ... Speaking of him, the boys and the girls are here?"

"Um ..." it was as if all the weight of my thoughts had just become physical "no, I ... I was alone outside ..."

"Why?" she insisted.

"I couldn't call anyone, deep down, I didn't want to talk to the guys ..." I left the consequence of the guilt I felt come to the surface.

"Freaking Hot Space ..." Chrissie said a little tiredly, certainly because of this blockage I had created "at least call the Taylors, I know you're not upset with Roger, tell them the baby was born and they'll take care of telling John, Veronica and Freddie."

"Thank you." I smiled in relief that she has instructed me to solve the problem.

"Bri!" I was already leaving when she called me "I love you, okay? Don't forget it."

"I love you too," I declared my constant feeling, which had never changed, and her love for me didn't cease to exist because of bad things.

I had a pay phone available inside the hospital, and taking a deep breath, I dialed the number of the Taylors' house, which I already knew by heart. Really Chrissie was right and reminded me of something I had forgotten, Roger and I had not quarreled, but even of him I was ashamed. But I understood that I needed to leave that feeling for a while and do what I had to do.

"Hello?" Dominique picked it up and for some reason I was glad it was her.

"Hi, it's Brian, Chrissie asked to tell you that the baby was born and ..." I had done well there, but I hesitated in the middle of the way "well, it's a girl, the two are well and ... Dom, Would you do me a favor?"

"Of course, if I may, you may ask, Bri," she agreed.

"Um ... Can you call the Deacons and Freddie?" I managed to say in a small way.

"I'll tell rgem, tell Chrissie that Jimmy is fine and that we're going to get there as fast as we can, then see you soon, Bri," Dominique told me.

"Okay, thank you," I said, hearing her close the call.

At least my friends were on the way, I just didn't know what to say or what to do when they arrived. I decided it was best to wait for them in Chrissie's room, if I were with her I wouldn't have to face them alone.

Freddie, the Taylors and the Deacons made their comments about my little girl, they congratulated us, and before they all left to let Chrissie rest for a while, my wife gave me an ultimatum, even as sweet as ever.

"You'll get it sorted out at once," Chrissie said, sure enough, asking me to apologize to John.

I just nodded, seeing that I couldn't postpone it any longer, I had to face the situation and solve it before I lost Queen, or worse, my best friends in the world. I looked from side to side, hoping to reach John before he left, and I lost my nerve.

"John!" I called and he turned around, and in fact, my call finally caught the attention of everyone, which made me more apprehensive, I just glanced at the rest of the guys, hoping they would understand that I needed to talk to him alone "Can I talk to you?"

"You can, yes." Deaky sounded very confused, but he understood what I mean. "Go ahead honey, I meet you later."

"All right," Veronica replied as Roger, Freddie, and Dominique left "I'll wait outside, Johnny."

"Um," he nodded to his wife, who left us alone, and then she looked back at me "what was it, Brian?"

"I think you must already be imagining what it is," I said, still nervous, "I ... just ... I'm sorry, seriously, I don't even know what else to say, I'm really sorry for being so stubborn and not being able to detach myself from what I wanted, when I should think about what you wanted, it's just ... we played rock for 11 years and suddenly we change the rhythm so, anyway, it's just my opinion, but just for that, I've had 11 years of my favorite musical style in the band, and now it's been your turn after so long, and I just want to say that I respect your taste, however much I don't like it, and all I want to do is finish this recording without fighting with anyone else, so forgive me John."

"Brian, calm down ..." was Deacon's response to everything I said, but I felt the need for such justification "man, I was'ot very nice to you either, but thank you for letting me do a little of what I wanted this time, I'm sorry for the provocations and the fights, in the end I also want the same as you, finish the job soon."

"So, are we okay?" I had to be sure.

"We are, we are," John smiled. "I apologize and you apologize, and we don't argue any more about Hot Space, right?"

"Okay," I laughed with pure relief, and when I found myself, I hugged my old friend, who to my surprise, didn't find my sudden affection unconcerned.

"It's okay, Bri, just relax a little, man, you can breathe normal again, okay?" John laughed at my exaggeration, but I didn't think it was bad.

"You know how dramatic I am," I agreed with his reaction to me.

"Yeah, I just had a prove of it," he joked. "Look, send a kiss to Louisa and Chrissie, I have to go, Veronica is waiting for me."

"Sure, you can leave," I nodded, "and thank you John, really, it means a lot to me."

"You're welcome, Brian," he said before going, and only then did I feel a huge relief, completely, that whether or not it was being built slowly with each of my excuses that were accepted.

A little later, we took Louisa home for the first time, and joined with my family, I was able to witness something wonderful and beautiful that I knew in another way, the complicity between siblings.

Louisa couldn't fully understand what Jimmy was saying to her, describing the most important parts of our life, but even so, she was attentive to him, becoming familiar with and clinging to him, in her early moments with her older brother. Jimmy had a posture commensurate with an older brother, willing to protect Lou from anything that wanted to harm her and teach her everything he knew. They were blood siblings, but also in the heart.

So did I, who had a constant care with Roger, John, and Freddie, since I'd met them, trying to understand them and be the best friend that could be to them. And our friendship became a brotherhood, they were my brothers at heart, and no disagreement would change that. The same feeling that Jimmy had for Louisa was the same thing that I and the boys had.

Only then, after a long time, I was sure it would be all right.


	36. Family and Work

As time went on, I noticed how much Louisa was different from Jimmy, not only because of their age, she was just a baby when he was about five, but their personality was what made the difference between my children.

Even so small, Louisa was a different baby than Jimmy had been. She was more agitated at night than her brother used to be, she cried almost constantly at bedtime, but one thing that worked with both of them was singing to make them sleep.

It was quite common for Jimmy to fall asleep while his mother sang "39" to him, except that the song didn't have the same effect for Louisa, at least when Chrissie sang it to her. When it was my turn to make my little girl sleep, I tried to sing my favorite songs like "Yesterday," and as much as she kept quiet and listened to my voice, she wpuldn't sleep. It was then that I tried "'39" and, after being attentive, my little baby ended up sleeping. So by the way, she liked this song, but only if I sang. It was one of the things we had discovered about Louisa, though I didn't discover a clear reason for it.

Something wonderful I could witness was when I was with the kids in the yard. We sat on the steps that marked the limits of the kitchen and looked out into the yard, noting the space occupied only by the fence and the wall. Jimmy had a hand under his chin, looking very thoughtful about something, Louisa was on my lap, as quiet as she could get, since she was very agitated. What made me smile even more as I watched her there on my lap was her hand tightly clinging to my shirt. Almost every time I took her in the lap, it was as if she felt more secure if I was absolutely sure that I was right there, I was what gave her security, so I did my best to reciprocate all confidence of my little girl.

"Don't you think it's very empty here, Dad?" Jimmy broke the silence and I turned to him.

"The bottom of the yard?" I understood what he was talking about "it is, I know, I also think, once I even thought about planting a tree, and some flowers."

"There are those there," Jimmy pointed out, at the yellow flowers that were born there suddenly, like a weed, but they didn't have to be described like that, since they were beautiful "but it was not you or the mother that planted it."

"No, it wasn't," I admitted, "but would you like to plant more?"

"Oh yes, we'll make the yard full and beautiful "my boy supported the idea, and suddenly he ran off, positioning himself right in the middle of the yard "and right here, a big tree!"

"You know it takes a long time for a tree to grow, don't you?" I said to him with a smile.

"But I'll wait for it," my little boy nodded vigorously.

It made me laugh and I felt Louisa let go of her little hand from me, thinking that I frightened her a little, but as soon as I looked back at her, she tried to steady her feet. I was frightened at that, even thought to get her back, but I was sure she was going to start walking, I couldn't stop such a feat.

She balanced, took one, two steps away from me. As a reflex, I stood to see what she would do, not even remembering that maybe I'd better stay close to her if she fell. But my smart little girl surprised me again, managing to turn to me, taking three, four more steps toward me. Before she sat down, Louisa grabbed my leg hard, looking up with a huge smile. I smiled back, so proud of my little one that I burst into tears.

"Dad, did you see?" Jimmy said excitedly "Lou, she was walking ..."

"Yes, yes, she was." I nodded to him and began to laugh with joy, looking at my children.

It wasn't long before Louisa ran after Jimmy, accompanying him wherever he went. When they walked together or went somewhere, he made sure to hold his little sister's hand, guiding and instructing her carefully.

Although Louisa's first words were not "daddy" or "guitar" or "music", I wasn't disappointed to hear her say "Ma!" during a busy breakfast, in which she had smeared my face with oatmeal. This was my Lou.

Since Jimmy was born, he always accompanied us on Queen's tours, but now that Louisa was still very young, Chrissie and I agreed that it would be harder to take care of two small children on a trip so far and while I would be busy of time.

It was very hard to say goodbye to my family before I went to Montreal, but Jimmy's maturity surprised me a lot. I explained why I had to travel without them this time, and he understood, promising that he would take care of Mommy and Lou until I returned. My boy made me proud every day, it was amazing how he was so understanding.

In Switzerland, we finished recording "Hot Space", and when I came home, I hugged my wife tightly, and soon Jimmy came to greet me, and as usual, Louisa was close to him.

"Daddy, you're back, you're back, you're back!" he repeated, very excited.

"And how I wanted to come back, my angel, you don't know how much I missed you!" I kissed my son's face, finished speaking and putting Louisa on my lap.

"Actually, I can imagine," Chrissie sat beside me, laying her head on my shoulder, Jimmy sat on his mother's lap unceremoniously "the same size of our longing!"

"I can argue that my longing was much bigger, but it will be one of those of our meaningless discussions, right?" I said, rather amused.

"Yeah, you're right about that," Chrissie agreed and kissed me, making it clear that it was fair to think our longing was the same.

Still, we had to stay away of each other a little longer because of a 'Hot Space' tour, but at every show in London my family was there supporting me.

After all the conflict on the album until we finished its release, we finally started thinking about the next album. Unfortunately for John, and for us too, as a result, our disco-inspired work hadn't been a tremendous success, however much some fans here and there would admit to liking it.

As much as there was a bad side to this reaction, the good thing was that we finally got back to the good old rock and roll. My head was full of new ideas, which made me spend the day with my old notebook in which I wrote down my compositions.

"You're really thrilled, huh?" said Chrissie, as she sat at the kitchen table.

"Me? Yeah ... " I giggled, scratching my head." I know I look like a crazy obsessed guy, but I have to enjoy the inspiration, and it seems to have grown a lot in those days."

"Does this have to do with certain creative freedoms being allowed again?" She crossed her arms, a little suspicious.

"Yeah, for you, I have to admit that ..." I was a little embarrassed with my own sincerity.

"No problem, Brian," Chrissie gave me a reassuring smile. "I know you were very upset about the last record, and it makes me very happy to see you in a happy mood, my love."

"Thank you, Chrissie, really, thank you." I couldn't be happier to hear my wife's words of support, I stood up to kiss her cheek as another sign of thanks.

It was gratifying for me to know that my family loved what I was creating, Chrissie with her praise, watching me composing since we met, and constantly humming my songs around the house for herself and our children.

Jimmy used to smile when he saw me playing, whether at home or on the stage, and Louisa jumped, clapped her hands, screamed as excitedly as other fans, but knowing that she was my fan made me feel moved. That's how she reacted when I showed her, Jimmy and Chrissie the introduction of "Hammer to Fall."

I could have been far away when I was on stage with Queen, but I knew that Jimmy, Louisa and Chrissie would smile at us, approving of what we did, feeling the energy of our songs and pride in our talents and efforts. I didn't need much in the world, the love and support of my family, the company of my friends, to do what I loved, completed me.


	37. Rupture and Struture

The more we worked, the closer we got to releasing our new album, "The Works". With the release, came another tour and the recording of the clips from the album hits. During all this, no matter how much Freddie continued to get involved in the job, even if he was late or disagreed with us, it was precisely his rather rebellious behavior that made me more worried about him.

He often partied at Garden Lodge, and after a while, I stopped attending all of the parties. In the beginning, we and Chrissie would go, without taking our children with us, we agreed that the parties that Uncle Freddie used to organize weren't suitable for children. My wife felt uncomfortable in most of them, and I knew that Chrissie was making an effort to accompany me so as she wouldn't be rude refusing the invitation. Until she couldn't go any further.

"I hope you don't mind Bri, but ..." Chrissie tried to be as delicate as possible. "This kind of party was exactly the kind of party I avoided a lot in college, and as much as Freddie is our friend and everything else, I'd rather stay at home with the kids."

"I understand you, my love," I replied, almost feeling her embarrassment. "Don't you mind if I go alone?"

"No, it's better for one of us to go than no one," Chrissie said, "just ... Try not to come too late, if you please, my love."

"Okay, I'll come early, yes." I completely understood my wife's opinion.

So I stayed at parties long enough to be a grateful and appropriate guest, and I realized that John and even Roger began to think that Freddie spent a lot of time with extravagant amusements. It was no problem for him to celebrate whatever it was he wanted, but it had become a bad habit for our friend.

Again I noticed a sadness in Freddie, and as much as we tried to talk, he never told us what he was feeling, but we realized that something wasn't right with him. And this bad thing, it turned out to be even worse for the three of us.

I was home when Chrissie answered the phone and told me that Freddie wanted to talk to me. He just asked me to come to his house at that moment, it was a simple request, but I asked with some urgency and the seriousness in Freddie's voice made me worried about why he wanted to talk to me so suddenly. Arriving at Garden Lodge, I found no one but Paul, warning me to wait for John and Roger to arrive. So it was something that had to do with the band, I deduced. It could be that not too, but everything indicated that yes. It wasn't long before Rog and Deaky arrived, with the same doubt as to why we were there. Only then did Freddie come and talk to us.

That was a hard conversation, which slowly was shaking my structures, fidgeting with my emotions to the point of going from extreme anger to deep hurt and disappointment. Freddie had made a decision about his career that directly involved the band. I know it wasn't something so terrible he releasing solo albums, the problem was how he had done it. His contract was signed before he took the issue to us, which made us feel betrayed. The impression I had is that everything we've built in the last 13 years wasn't worth anything to him, we had been mere steps to his rise to fame and success. It was as if we were no longer friends, as if we had less value if we followed the careers we had before Queen was formed, that had been total disrespect. I was silent, I didn't know how to react or what to answer, Freddie had left us with no concrete answers about the future, and I was trying to imagine what could happen from here on.

My family noticed my sadness when I got home. I was so shocked I just couldn't speak, the words stuck in my throat. I just sat down, trying to process everything I had heard, the only thing I felt now was anger at Freddie's ingratitude. My head was traveling back in time, remembering everything we went through when we were young dreamers to a group of successful friends and musicians. All the support, friendship, and unity we had had shattered because of Freddie's decision. When Chrissie came to see how I was, all I could do was hug her tightly, making sure she wouldn't leave me alone.

"Brian" Chrissie looked at me, after I had been quiet for a long time, touching my chin so that I looked at her "you must tell me what happened, please, my love."

"Believe me, I'm crying more out of anger than of sadness" by now my face was wet from crying for a long time.

"Freddie, isn't it? But what was it?" My wife sat beside me and took my hands.

"First, he decided to sign a contract for two solo albums, without telling us or asking for our opinion" slowly, I could tell what had happened "which means that Queen ... We are not going to work together anymore, indefinitely. That was it, but ... Oh, I don't understand, I do not understand!" I ended up shouting, putting everything out - it's like nothing we've done until today means anything to him? We've been 13 years together! It's not just the band itself, but our friendship ... And Chrissie, he said ... Some bad stuff, that's what hurts me, you know, Freddie sounded very ungrateful to me! I wanted to say so much, but the good thing about the rage was that it made me leave soon, before I responded to him as well. It's like we're not good enough for him, he's self-sufficient, oh God! He even said that he doesn't need us, I just ... It's a huge disappointment ..."

Even though I was so agitated and shaken, my Chrissie had the courage to approach me, offering me her support with a hug and a kiss on my face.

"What do I do now?" I felt desperate and she was the only one to bring me a solution now, since she was always my light at the end of the tunnel.

"We'll find a way, I assure you," Chrissie said hopefully.

We lost touch with Freddie when he decided to go to Munich. I, John and Roger shared the same anger, resentment and hurt. We tried to deal with all this, still having to deal with the constant pressure from the media on what would happen to Queen because of the solo work of our vocalist. I responded as best as I could, without smearing the public image of my friend or causing any suspicion that the band was breaking up. Was that what was going to happen? I didn't know either.

For a while I felt a little useless, not knowing exactly how to work or what to do. Chrissie reminded me of my love for Astrophysics and I re-read the most current books on the subject. A little reminder of my old studies really helped, but another idea of my wife really lifted my spirits. Chrissie arranged a trip for us to Hampton, taking advantage of Jimmy's vacation from school. There, in the home of my childhood, so far from so much curiosity, fame, and speculation, I could it be just Brian, son, husband, father, a human being trying to deal with problems as I could.

What struck me most about this trip was an afternoon spent on the beach, just me and my family. Chrissie with her care and easy smile, happy to be there, Jimmy curious and attentive to everything around him, euphoric to finally be where he most wanted to be since we told him that we would go to his grandparents' house, Louisa, firm in my lap , with her arms around my neck, always looking for safety in me, but going around exploring that different place under the care of her brother. We play, we laugh, we dived, we stopped to enjoy each other's company. It had been a memorable day, showing me how much I loved my family. This inspired me to write a new song, as I hadn't done for a long time.

Before we left the beach and returned to my parents' house, I began to sketch some lyrics, and the word that repeated the most, the theme of the song, was "sense." As much as Queen, which was one of the most solid things of my life, seemed to have collapsed, my family would always be with me, they were my base, my foundation, which ensured that my emotional structures would still stand. Of all the craziness I was living at that moment, Chrissie, Jimmy, and Louisa were what made it all make sense.

When we returned home, I made a point of finishing the song, showing it to Chrissie as soon as it was ready.

"It's beautiful ..." it was the sincere and emotional view of her.

"You know, music is a way to ... put the feelings out ... when you can not speak ..." I confessed,and that had been one of the main reasons for composing that song, which ended up being called "All Sense."

"I know," Chrissie hugged me, and I reciprocate with all my might, grateful that she was there again, in one of the moments I needed most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the song Brian mentioned.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xT7jRJPNrG8


	38. Back to work

As much as I missed Freddie, his comments, his demands, and his friendship, remembering what he had done still hurt a lot. It was impossible for me not to feel angry, and the most confusing to me was that I felt anger and longing at the same time.

When I thought about Queen's future, I was trying to focus on the present, because our future still seemed uncertain. Despite where we were now, Queen had already built a legacy, a solid fan base and an appeal to the public, and that's why Bob Geldof wanted Queen to be part of Live Aid.

It was a charity event, bringing together the best artists of the day, however, Jim still didn't know whether to accept the invitation or not, under the circumstances. Until I wanted to participate, but one thing was true, as hard as it was to admit, we weren't Queen if we weren't the four of us together. We needed Freddie and him needed us, as I made sure to remind him the day we discussed.

"Jim called" I told Chrissie after talking to our manager "there's an event Bob Geldof is organizing, they call it Live Aid, it's basically a series of shows with several artists to raise donations to help the needy in Africa."

"It looks very big and important," my wife said.

"Yes, I think it too," I agreed, sighing before I said more, "the thing is that they want Queen to perform."

"Oh ..." Chrissie knew why this was a delicate problem at the time.

"Chrissie, Freddie's back ..." I said, distracted, still puzzled by the news.

"You'll have to sort it out, no matter how bad, and as much as you lose your temper," she told me, touching my shoulder. "But he's still your friend, your brother ..."

"The brother who abandoned us" that's how I still felt about him "look, Jim said that Freddie wants to see us and talk, he set an appointment for tomorrow."

"It's going to be all right, Bri," Chrissie said, and I was trying to believe it.

I was so stunned that I ended up leaving my children worried, and I ended up reassuring them that it was all just an adult thing. Then, the next day, I decided to face this meeting that part I wanted, part I didn't want.

It was hard to understand what I felt when I first saw Freddie after so long. I was ready to scold him, to say everything that I wanted, but despite my irritation, I felt sorry for him. He was sad and depressed, desperate for our forgiveness, and by the repentance of my friend, I was almost ready to forgive him. Still, there were things that needed adjustment.

I asked Freddie and Jim to give us a minute, a little for a prank, but a lot more for seriousness.

"So he came back, who was missing so we could to accept this show," Roger began, "the question is, shall we take him back?"

"I want to, I really want to" I leaned forward, projecting my opinion "the problem is that ... Who guarantees that we won't have another fight like this?"

"Who knows a formal agreement is enough to make him think twice before making decisions without us" John was practical "and besides, you know he's really sorry."

"Yeah, we know," Roger admitted, "but what kind of deal would we make?"

"Well, first, you agree that the Queen is the four of us and not just Freddie, isn't it?" John proposed and we nodded. "So, we start there, everything we produce as a band belongs to Queen, too, and we'll get the profits equal and just as well."

"That's great," I smiled, satisfied with the solution, the four of us formed the band and it was our collaborative contribution that made Queen become what it was, nothing more fair than to share everything the band generated.

"Yeah, it just depends on Freddie agreeing." Roger shrugged.

"He woll, he is sorry and desperate" I trusted that the plan would work "only this is not the only problem, it all started, at least I think so, and I know you guys agree, because he took us away, he preferred others to our company."

"Let's make conditions on that too," John decided, "maybe he'll accept that."

"Okay, let's see what happens then" I was getting ready for what was to follow.

When John allowed Freddie and Jim to return to the office, we ended up agreeing on these new terms for the band, and officially, Queen was back on the line.

We set up a rehearsal for the following weeks, and although we were a little rusty, we managed to play well, in that old tune, present between us, after all. But the worst was yet to come, when Freddie admitted to us being with AIDS. Now he understood even more of his haste and urgency to join us again. It was horrible how life always came up with something unexpectedly bad, when everything seemed to run so well. But that's what makes life what it is, we value good things because bad things exist.

As Freddie himself was facing the situation, we decided to follow the example of our friend. We focused on the present, the time we had, the big show we had to do.

I was nervous as I didn't was in other shows, really Live Aid was no small thing, it was a great honor and responsibility and all the excitement we saw at Wembley before we got our turn proved it. To my grateful surprise, Chrissie came with the children to see us before the performance.

"Are you enjoying it?" I asked Louisa and Jimmy.

"Yeah, but I can't wait to see Queen," my boy said.

"Me too," Louisa said as well, "play very beautiful, right Daddy?"

"I'm on it, my princess," I laughed at her sweet request, kissing her cheek.

"Good luck, Dad." Jimmy wished and I messed up his hair, finding him cute too.

"It's my turn ..." Chrissie moved closer to me. "Well, I'm just going to focus and pay attention to the signs of the boys, and don't forget to play with the heart, as you always do ..."

"Yes, Chrissie," I promised her, "but I still need something."

"What? I thought it was all right, we checked everything ... " my wife was confused and worried.

"My good luck kiss," I said earnestly, but jokingly.

"Stop it, Brian Harold May!" she was shy "I didn't forget it, I was already going to do it ..."

And then she kissed me, unfortunately for our little girl.

"Mom..." Louisa was annoyed.

"Get used to it, Lou," Roger advised. "These two were like that long before you were born."

"All right, I get it," Chrissie said to them, "enough kissing."

The wonderful visit of my wife and children wishing me good luck made me calm down a bit, but being literally in the face of the world was something that made me shudder to think, but I wasn't alone, I, Freddie, John and Roger were together again, supporting one another, even if it was after a long time. I took a deep breath of courage on the stage, checking to see if my friends were as ready as I was.

Freddie just started, and we followed him as usual. The music was taking us and suddenly I had the feeling that we were one with all the audience of the stadium. It was wonderful to see how Freddie could catch the attention of those thousands of people. When the four of us gathered in the center of the stage, I knew our duty was fulfilled and we were together more than ever.

I arrived late at home that night but I couldn't sleep without first thanking my Chrissie for all her love and support on that great day.

"I have no words to describe what happened today," I told her, reliving the day in my mind, "it was all so much better than I imagined, what we expected, the audience was amazing, but you know what was the best of everything?"

"I think I know," said my wife, already understanding everything, "the four of you together again."

"Yeag," was my simple, true answer.

"That's what moved me the most," Chrissie agreed.

I watched my wife, even though she was tired as she was now, Chrissie hadn't failed to accompany me to this great event, and she and her love for me had been present in my life ever since I met her. My heart was filled with gratitude for her ever-present support.

"I couldn't do it without you," I said another truth, "thank you ... for everything."

I kissed her quickly and all that emotion filled me with inspiration.

" Where are you going?" I heard my wife say as I was leaving.

I smiled like a mischievous boy, holding a great surprise.

"I promise you'll find out later," I said, and went down to the room where the instruments were.

Despite the tiredness, I ignored the rest for a moment, not being able to lose the inspiration that had arisen at the moment. Live Aid had been wonderful to us, marked our return, and none of this would be possible were it not for our persistence, for being together from the start, and Chrissie had been our fan and one of our biggest supporters from the beginning.

My wife was always by my side, in good times and in bad times, praising and commenting on everything I composed, making me see my qualities, helping me to be a better person and every day, I was grateful to have found her. It was all this conclusion that I tried to express in "Stars Tonight".

When I finished the lyrics, I concentrated on not forgetting the melody, I worked on the song for a few more days until it was fully ready. And one morning, as soon as she woke up, I made a point of showing my new tribute to her. I didn't have to explain anything when she saw me picking up the Red Special, getting ready to play.

"I did it for you, I know I never did it a song like that to respect your privacy, but I couldn't help it, I need the world to know how much I love you and how important you are to me," I explained directly, and Chrissie felt so flattered that she began to cry.

"Oh, Bri ..." was her sincere response, which made my heart beat harder to hear her say my name like that.

"Let's see the stars tonight" I started "just you and I, they shine for everyone, but only us understand them ..."

And I kept on singing this chorus again, for the last time.

"You know ..." murmured my wife thoughtfully, after a while, "this song reminded me of many things we spent together, it's as if you ... Summarize our story."

"Well, but I just told you about our story so far," he smiles, thinking about the future, despite other difficulties we were facing now. "I'm sure we'll live much more, won't we?"

"I'm pretty sure, too." She smiled and kissed me, making sure we really still had a lot of things to live for and we would always be together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the song Brian mentioned.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCtHqLYg4Hg


	39. Recover

Although it was sad that Freddie was sick, he never let himself down, and for his determination and our joy at being working together again, we spent the rest of the year working on a new album, "A Kind of Magic." One of my songs for this record was "Stars Tonight".

We were almost finishing the new record when one night while I was at home I felt a sharp headache, so sharp that it made me dizzy, unbalanced for a moment, but soon I regained my balance.

"What was that, Bri? I thought you were going to fall," my wife said with concern.

"I felt dizzy, it's over, but my head ..." My head was really throbbing when I answered her.

"What about it? Is it hurting a lot?" Chrissie tried to understand what was happening to me.

"Yes, I don't know why." I thought of a logical reason for the pain.

"Well, that's why there are doctors" she was very practical "don't you think you'd better go and see what that is?"

"No, not now." It was late and I didn't want to leave at that moment. "It seems like a passing thing, don't worry."

"You know that phrase doesn't have much effect on me." Chrissie referred to her own concern. "I can wait for today, but tomorrow, the first thing you're going to do is go to the doctor, okay?"

"All right, Mrs. May," I couldn't argue when my wife was right.

And to hasten my inquiry, as soon as I answered it, I lost my senses, really fainting this time.

"Brian! Brian!" Chrissie screamed my name as she came to me, despair had taken over my wife.

She laid me down on the couch as best as she could, and I heard her call the children, Jimmy and Louisa were already asleep at that time, but I understood that she would have to take them with us to not leave them alone. I walked to the car with Chrissie supporting me, stumbling on my own feet. When I leaned my head in the front seat, the headache seemed to have increased. My wife drove to the hospital, and getting there I was carried by nurses.

I knew they'd taken me to a hospital room, but my memories were confused, messed up. That's why I was surprised when I woke up again, not knowing when I'd gone to sleep for the last time. I was alone there, there was no sign of my wife and even a nurse, I still felt dizzy and limp, but at least the headache had passed. Only then did I see what could have happened to me. It had been that way exactly 11 years ago. It seemed that right now, at the most inopportune moment, hepatitis had stubbornly returned.

At least I was sure there was no risk of me leaving the band after years of making music together, but I still felt bad, I had interrupted Queen's work again and Freddie was in a much worse situation than mine. And I was just diminishing the precious time we had left. My only option while I was stuck in a hospital bed was waiting for someone to come and see me. I felt even more useless and miserable.

A doctor just examined me, grimacing with pity and worry. Surely, that wasn't good.

"Right, Mr. May, I think I'd rather call your wife before I say anything else," he explained. "She spent the night here waiting for news."

"Oh my God ..." I regretted having caused this discomfort to Chrissie.

I waited for a moment and my wife came up to me, Jimmy holding her hand while Chrissie's other arm was busy balancing Louisa in her lap. The three of them looked teary and tired.

I just looked at her, trying to express my gratitude for her dedication to me. She returned my gaze, as if to say, "You're not to blame for anything."

"Are you better now, Daddy?" Jimmy was brave, asking first.

"I'm, my angel, I'm really better now" I was telling the truth "I'm sorry I worried you."

"No problem, no one gets sick on purpose, just get well soon, rest and don't strain" my son sounded like an adult, but his child's voice assured me that it was only my little boy being responsible.

"Daddy, are you coming home with us?" Louisa said rather sadly, as if she knew the answer.

"I don't think so, my lflower, but I'm sure Mommy will bring you in every day to see me." I tried to comfort her, sure that Chrissie would do it, and my little girl just nodded.

Dr. Hailey came back and looked worriedly at my family.

"You're quite sure I can tell it in front of the children, Mr. and Mrs. May?" asked the doctor.

"We already have an idea of what it is, Doctor," Chrissie said firmly, "the four of us."

"Okay, then," the doctor went on, "Mr. May have a serious case of hepatitis, he need to stay on notice, and take the medication directly administered by us, I'm afraid I stipulate a full recovery only from here 6 months."

"6 months ..." I repeated, dejected, already waiting for a big deadline, and knowing that there wasn't much that could do about it.

"I'm sorry, but I think that being patient is what will ensure you recover fully," Dr. Hailey wished, and I tried to follow his advice, however hard it was for me.

It was to be hoped that I would face better this second hospitalization, since it had already been through, but was as bad as the first time. I tried to rest, to regain my strength, but nothing could shake the feeling of worthlessness, even though I was fully aware that my conditions weren't consequences of my choices. It had just happened.

In the first few weeks, I received visits from Freddie and Jim Hutton, Dominique and Roger, and John and Veronica, all desiring improvements and that the boys would wait for me, even Freddie, trying to sound hopeful. Until now, I couldn't say that my friend was seriously ill, but his appearance didn't deceive us, it was a sad truth that we kept with us, we didn't speak of this at the request of Freddie himself.

My agreement with Chrissie this time was that she would visit with the children every day after they left school, and Saturday and Sunday at lunchtime, no matter how much they ate their normal food and I the least appetizing, but not the least healthy food from the hospital. To be present in my children's lives even under those conditions was what comforted me during those months.

Of course the press didn't give Queen a break, and both Freddie and I were the targets. Rumors about Freddie were spreading, as well as the reason for my absence.

"On top of that, Jim thought I'd better make an official statement," Chrissie told me when we touched the subject, "since I'm your assistant, I've decided what to say to them."

"And everything went well? I mean, well, did you feel uncomfortable about that?" I worried about what my wife might be dealing with.

"Well, the usual discomfort," she shrugged, "only because of the people who insist on not respecting our privacy, but nothing else, I'm used to it, really, I just wrote a note saying that you're recovering because of hepatitis and that once it's all right, Queen returns to the public and stages."

"Well satisfactory and it doesn't open the way to further speculation," I sighed in relief, "thank you, my love."

"You're welcome, it's my job," Chrissie smiled. "Taking care of you is my job long before I'm your assistant."

"Yeah, I know." I smiled at her, sure that I was making a silly, passionate look, and would kiss her if she didn't have to lie down.

"Dad!" Louisa called out with a warning tone "no kiss."

"What do you mean, Lou?" I laughed, which made me feel a little pain "I wasn't going to do it ..."

"But it seemed like you were," she snapped, and her mother blushed.

"Um ... Why don't you show your father how you know how to write your name, huh, Lou?" Chrissie suggested trying to avoid the embarrassing subject.

"Yeah, yeah." She clapped her hands in cheer, "and there's still a drawing for me to show."

Chrissie took a sheet of paper and a pen from her purse, handing it to Louisa, which used my stretched legs like an improvised table, and leaned in a way that would allow me to see exactly what she was writing. She made the L lines one at a time, the O in one movement, the U from right to left, traced I, took extra care in S, and made each part of A slowly.

"Congratulations, my little flower," I praised her, "you're too smart!"

"Yup!" She smiled at me, proud of the feat.

"Show your sketch now, Lou, it look so beautiful," Jimmy encouraged his little sister.

"Okay." She looked at Chrissie, since her mother had took it.

My wife handed me the sheet and I unfolded it, finding a pleasant and cute surprise. It was clearly a representation of me and Chrissie, an astronaut with rebellious curly hair, holding a princess's hand, wearing a crown under her long brown hair. It was one of the best impressions of me I had ever seen in my life.

As time passed, I felt a significant improvement, both in my physique and in my spirit. When I was discharged, I made a point of leaving as quickly as possible, going home with my family after so long.

"You know what I want to do?" I said to the three of them, excited as a child, and they looked at me expectantly "watch Doctor Who eating mom's spongecake."

"Yes!" My kids clapped and cheered, they agreed with my idea.

"Well, then I'll start doing my part." Chrissie put her hands on her hips, also surrendering to our request.

A while later, there we were on the old couch, Louisa and Jimmy had fallen asleep, snuggled in our lap.

"Hey, Chrissie ..." I whispered to my wife, who turned to me.

Taking advantage of the fact that the children were asleep and wouldn't inspect us, I kissed her, showing my love, gratitude, relief for finally being back home. If it weren't for my family, I knew I couldn't handle so many challenges that have arisen in my life.


	40. Feeling Emotions

As soon as I recovered, Queen was able to return to our normal routine, which soon included a great tour called the "Magic Tour", passing through England and other neighboring countries, and as usual, Chrissie, Jimmy and Louisa came with me, accompanying me on all of that. By now our children were accustomed to traveling, sleeping on the plane, staying at hotels, watching the shows almost every night, and the walks we always did together to get to know where we were.

We were in Edinburgh, it was morning, and we were going to meet Jim to get the last details of the show that night when I saw Chrissie moan in pain.

"Is everything okay, my love?" I asked immediately.

"I think so, I just felt dizzy, how strange ..." She grimaced when she lost her balance again.

"Wait, sit down a little, I can tell Jim you're not well." I led her to the nearest chair, watching her, looking for some reason for her to feel bad.

"No, Brian, I don't want us to be late, believe me, I'm fine, it's already gone." Chrissie nodded vigorously, hurrying, and at the moment I decided to give in to her request, but I was still not convinced she was all right.

We went to the meeting, and she was a good time apparently well, until we were served some tea, and instead of accepting, she refused.

"Are you sure you don't want it? You love tea" I thought it was a strange choice to her.

"It's just that my stomach suddenly felt bad, I think that's why I was dizzy, I don't know if it's something to do with the otherrhing, maybe it's just because I slept very little" my wife tried to justify her discomfort "Yesterday, I had dinner late, I think it made me bad."

"If you're not feeling well, Chrissie, we can finish the meeting here," Jim offered gently.

"No, it's nothing, Jim," she denied. "I just felt a little dizzy in the morning, that's all, don't end the meeting earlier because of me, I don't want to upset you."

"All right, but don't hesitate to ask for help if you need it," our manager said seriously, and I gave him every reason.

As soon as we were dismissed, Chrissie felt the discomfort, the dizziness, and a sudden pain in her stomach.

"I don't think I even need to suggest going to the doctor, eh?" I raised an eyebrow as I said this, emphasizing how serious I was.

"You don't need all of that," she finally laughed at my expression. "I was going to say that I was going to the hospital, we're too far from home so I can't go back without knowing what I have. I just have one question, do you think the boys can stay with Jimmy and Louisa while we go?"

"Of course, they'll be fine, if John and Jim are with them," I agreed, reminiscing about our old joke that Freddie and Roger were mischievous, but deep down we knew how much they loved our kids and were responsible for taking care of them.

It was incredible the sense of anonymity I felt in a different country, but even with Queen being known in Scotland, we went unnoticed in the hospital. We wait for Chrissie's turn to be attended and I made a point of accompanying her. I waited in Dr. Giles' office to examine my wife and together we await the results.

"Well, I have good news!" said the doctor, taking another look at the exams, "I suppose they are good."

"If they're good, why the suspense, Doctor?" my wife said suddenly, a little suspicious "sorry I sounded harsh, is that I am nervous and worried."

"Without further ado then," Dr. Giles replied, rather awkward, "you are pregnant, Mrs. May, my congratulations!"

"Oh my God!" Chrissie said scared, while I was speechless.

We didn't talk about having more children, for a while both we and I thought that two children was enough for our family, we already felt so complete, but I was grateful for more of this wonderful surprise of life. Many of the fears I had before becoming a father were now definitely gone, I overcame them with the help of Chrissie, once again we would be together to go through an incredible journey that would continue with the arrival of our third child.

"It's all right, my love." I held her hands and looked into her eyes, imagining that she was nervous and apprehensive at this suddenly news "this is wonderful, it's incredible!"

I let a laugh escape, and tears ran down my wife's cheeks, she gave me a timid smile in response.

"I know, I'm happy too" she found the words "I'm just surprised."

"I know, I am, too, but remember? I help you and you help me, as always" I assured Chrissie that everything would work out because we had each other.

"Um hum," she nodded, still shy.

We thanked Dr. Giles for his time and then returned to the hotel, it was a big change for our family, both the May and Queen, but who would feel a bigger impact of all this would be our little ones, so we decided to tell them first.

"Mom? Are you okay?" Jimmy ran to meet us, while Louisa hesitated a little behind him.

"It's all right, my boy," his mother made it clear, "there's only one thing we need to tell you."

"Is it a bad thing?" It was Louisa's turn to worry.

"No, no, it's a very good thing, which I think you'll like," I said to my daughter, putting her on my lap.

"Yeah, yeah," Chrissie sighed and waited for us all to sit down and tell them "Good, so dad and I found out that I ... Well, you're going to have another brother."

"Is Mommy pregnant again?" Jimmy was astonished "wow!"

"You mean Mommy's having another baby? But I'm her baby ..." Louisa was confused.

"No, Lou, you're younger than Jimmy, but you're older now," I explained to her.

"But you two, you three really will always be my babies," Chrissie chuckled.

"You can let me help to take care of my new baby brother, Mom." Jimmy was as helpful as ever.

"And you're going to keep taking care of me too, aren't you, Jimmy?" Louisa was still in doubt.

"Let's continue to take care of each other as usual, my sweetheart." I touched my daughter's face, making sure I kept my promise.

Louisa still needed some more time to get used to the idea that she would soon have a little brother. After talking to the children, it was time to tell the band what was happening.

"So, how was it? It's all right?" Jim asked when we all met again.

"All wonderful," Chrissie smiled at us all, "only what I have and we'll have here in a while is another baby."

My friends were surprised, but soon they came to hug us.

"One more little May? I didn't expect that from you, maybe Roger or even John," Freddie commented, amused.

"Remember how much you charged us to have kids, so ..." was all I said to him.

That night, before we perform, Chrissie came to wish us luck as usual, with Jimmy and Louisa.

"I'm not going to say anything on the stage, but know that when we sing" Stars Tonight," I'm going to play it for you and the baby," I told her cheerfully.

"That's very beautiful, thank you, my love." She kissed me, wishing me luck.

I was much more excited during the show, all because of the happiness I was feeling that my family grew a little more.

Jimmy still remembered what the routine and changes his mother had been like, but it was the first time Louisa had been through all this. Probably the third baby wouldn't go through with it.

The first thing Louisa noticed differently was that her mother stopped holding her in her lap when she stood up. Of course my little girl asked why.

"Mommy can't carry much weight, because it hurts the baby," I explained to her.

"But is the baby heavy? You can barely see Mommy's belly, it's still small," Louisa pointed out.

"It's that now I get tired faster if I make a lot of effort and the baby feels everything I feel" Chrissie came to my aid "if I get tired, he gets tired too, if I'm happy, he'll be happy, if I get sad, he gets sad, do you understand, Lou?"

"I understood," she nodded slowly, "so I'm going to make Mommy happy."

"Oh, that's very good," Chrissie laughed contentedly, "do you mean you'll obey quickly when I ask you to put your toys in their right place?"

"Yeah ... I think so," Louisa said without much certainty.

"I'll help you Lou, I can help her, can't I?" Jimmy looked at us for confirmation.

"Only when we allow it," I clarified, after confirming the rule, looking at Chrissie.

There was a special moment between my three children before the youngest was born when we decided to teach Louisa to ride a bicycle. Jimmy had practically learned alone, with all his shyness and fear of my answer, he asked if he could get a bicycle. With all the joy of the world, I answered that yes, and without me having to instruct much, he ventured and understood by himself how it worked pedaling, braking, making curves and at the age of six, my boy was already conducting a transportation. Even if it was just a bike, it made me feel old and think he was growing up too fast.

So when it came time for his little sister, Jimmy offered to teach her and we were even more proud of him.

"The secret, Lou, is don't stop pedaling, just in the corners, if you don't go too fast and you can get off balance and fall," Jimmy said in a teacher's voice, similar to me and Chrissie together at the same time.

"All right," my little girl nodded, determined and courageous as ever.

"If you feel afraid and need to stop, remember to brake and put your feet on the ground" her brother still recommended "ready? At three then 1, 2, and 3!"

Louisa wheeled slowly, still not quite sure what to do, still shaking as she sought balance. Suddenly, the bike leaned far to the side and I was sure she was going to fall. I ran ahead of myself to help her, and I was sad to be right.

"Is everything okay, Lou?" Her mother was faster, as she was most of the time.

"No, Mom, it hurts here." She pointed to the side of the thigh of her left leg. "Sorry about that."

"No problem, my little flower, accidents happen, you're still learning, and it's part of it falling, you can't give up," Chrissie said as she set Louisa upright, inspecting her bruise.

"But were you sad because I fell?" it was Louisa's turn to worry "you were, weren't you, Mom? So I l made the baby sad?"

"No, you didn't do it on purpose." The expression on my wife's face was one of shock and compassion, turning into a grimace, and then a smile. "Look, I don't think this means sadness.

Chrissie took Louisa's hand up to her belly, much bigger now, and I understood what was happening, Jimmy and I also felt the baby, which made Chrissie laugh at our contact.

"I think it's your little brother saying that he's proud of you because you tried to ride a bicycle," I explained to Louisa, who looked at me willingly to understand our support.

"And if you try again, the three of us will be happy," Jimmy added.

"I'll try, yes, just let me heal this bruise first, I promise," Louisa promised, smiling and embracing her mother's belly, thanking the support of her little brother.

I worried how Louisa and Jimmy would adapt to having another brother, but that moment assured me that everything would be all right because in our family the love we felt for each other was the guarantee that everything would work out.


	41. Hope

It was late afternoon when Chrissie began to feel the first signs that the baby was about to arrive. Immediately I called Gracey, our nanny since when Jimmy was younger, and soon she arrived, knowing the urgency of the situation. Again, throughout Chrissie's pregnancy, Louisa stared at us, not quite understanding what was happening.

"I promise I'll explain everything when we get home my love, but we really need to go," I told her hurriedly, hoping she would understand.

"Don't worry, Lou." Jimmy helped me as always. "Mom and Dad will be back soon, and they'll bring our little brother to meet us."

"But Mommy's in pain ..." My little girl was still not convinced.

"Trust me, Lou." Chrissie took her hand. "It's going to be fine, it hurts now, but it will stop. Don't give Gracey a hard tiime, I'll see you guys later, I promise."

We say goodbye to our children and then we take the road to soon meet our youngest. It was strange what I was feeling, I was nervous, of course, but I wasn't afraid, no matter how agonizing it was to wait, I was content, calm, I was sure everything would be all right.

"I love you very much." I held Chrissie's hand before they asked me to leave the room.

"I love you too, Bri." She touched my face, and gave me a smile, the usual smile, which calmed my agitated soul.

So I just waited outside, and my friends got there. I was sad that Freddie and Jim weren't there, his treatment had become a bit more intensive in the last few months and I figured maybe instead of them visiting us, we would have to take the baby to them so Freddie could meet him. I tried to push away those sad thoughts, no matter how much Freddie's condition was real, and shake us, I should focus on the present as he wanted, thinking that I would soon have my third child in my arms.

A little more time passed, and then I received the authorization to find my wife and my little girl. Yes, I had two daughters, and unintentionally the moment I found out, I ended up thinking about the ironies of life. I had a great fear of being the father of a girl, but Louisa had helped me confront them. However, I knew my daughters would be different from each other, and I should be aware of those differences. I approached Chrissie slowly, and in her arms she held our little girl.

"Hi, Bri ..." Chrissie said softly.

"Hi ..." I whispered back, delighted as I watched the baby.

She looked so much like me, but at the same time I remembered her mother looking at her, in a harmonious way, she was the perfect combination of me and Chrissie. Her eyes were the color of her mother's eyes, but her hair was like mine, dark and curly.

"Did you choose a name?" I suggested, I always thought she'd better choose.

"Oh, I thought of a very special one," my wife said.

"I love iy in you, you always think with so much care and consideration in things, and I understand that our children are really special and you always do it better than I do," I admitted.

"Oh, Brian, but you are like that too," she pointed out, "I remember that time when we went to pick the names you suggested Emily, and I liked, but there's another name I want her to have, Ruth, like your mother, Emily Ruth to be more exact."

"Wow, Chrissie ..." I was thrilled and flattered. "That's so beautiful, I ... I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything, just accept the suggestion." She touched my face, understanding my feelings.

"Okay ..." I smiled uneasily.

"Take her a little bit, Bri, since she's calm and quiet," Chrissie said and I promptly held Emily in my arms for the first time.

She was really quiet, not crying or making any noise as she watched me. Even in silence, she held up a hand, trying to pull at my hair.

"Oh, you'd better not do that, my dear." I pulled her hand away gently, which made her hold my finger.

It was incredible the emotion I was feeling, I loved Emily even more now that she had arrived. We came home late at night, finding Jimmy and Louisa asleep. I escorted Grace to the subway station, and then came back, finding Chrissie and Emily still awake.

"It seems she doesn't want to sleep," my wife said wearily and thoughtfully, "I've tried everything."

"Go to sleep, my love, I'll take care of her now." I offered, and Chrissie finally accepted, overcome by fatigue.

"Um, thank you Bri, good night." She kissed my cheek and left me with Emily.

I snuggled my little daughter to my chest, rocking back and forth, waiting for her to fall asleep. Suddenly, a song came to my mind, and a memory long ago. I remembered when I composed "Someday, One Day," a time when everything seemed so uncertain and dubious, at least in my professional life, because I was sure of Chrissie's love for me and my love for her. Because of her, who had always been by my side, I had hoped that more peaceful and happy days would come. Now we had three precious children, the greatest treasure of our lives, together we built a family, which we always dreamed of and even doubted if we would ever have, but that day had arrived, we were living that day. And no matter how much Freddie had been living through bad days, deep down in my heart, I struggled to keep hope.

"Right, Emily," I whispered to my little girl, who was now asleep "it looks like we found your song ..."

"Someday, One Day" matched perfectly with the time when my little girl had arrived, that was Emily's song, while "'39" and "Doing All Right" were Jimmy and Louisa. Once again, my heart felt tight as I placed her in the crib, but I fell asleep soon enough, despite my concern. Emily slept all night, but the next day, the one who woke us up was our little boy.

"Dad ..." he called, muffling his voice, "where's my little brother? I wanted to see him."

"Jimmy?" I murmured, still confused by the sleep "you already woke up, my angel? Well, the baby is still sleeping, but I think I can introduce her to you."

"So it's a little sister?" he soon understood as I sat down and finished waking up "I didn't expect it to be a girl ..."

"But you don't mind having two sisters?" I waited to see what Jimmy would say, if he would like to have had a brother, the most boys usually wanted a brother.

"No, Dad, it's okay." He gave me a smile that guaranteed it.

He took my hand as we went to Emily's room, even walking slowly, I felt his anxiety.

"Oh ..." he looked over the cradle, "she doesn't look much to me and to Lou, she looks more like you, Dad."

"Yeah, I realized," I chuckled softly.

"What's her name?" Jimmy remembered something I'd forgotten to say.

"Emily Ruth," I told him, watching my little one wake up.

"I think she already understands that she has that name." Jimmy chuckled softly and I took his little sister in my lap, who looked back at him, my boy smiled at Emily.

"How about we introduce Emily to Lou, eh, Jim?" I proposed to my son and he nodded.

I found Chrissie in Louisa's room, talking to our daughter, assuring our older daughter that she was fine.

"Look who has woke up too!" said my wife excitedly, taking Emily and bringing her closer to Louisa, Jimmy snuggled up next to his sisters "this is Emily, my lovies."

"She looks like a doll," Louisa said, delighted.

I just watched the first moment of my three children together more excitedly. Then the days went by, and once again Chrissie and I adapted our routine to take care of our older children and now our little baby. Luckily, Emily was as calm as Jimmy was, but her crying was very deep, tears were flowing almost automatically, which broke our heart and despaired us when we couldn't comfort her. What helped her settle down was a good drive, whether it was in the stroller or the car seat. It became a habit for us to pick up the kids at school by taking Emily with us, since she couldn't be alone, and as soon as the car started to go, she started to laugh.

"Seeing this, my love?" I pointed with my thumb "she loves a car ride, just don't tell Roger."

"Don't worry," my wife chuckled softly, "I'm sure when she grows up a little more, she'll love rockets more than cars."

I smiled that she had referred to my passion for space, and it was just something space-related that made Emily grow a little more, learning to speak. I took advantage of the good weather and the clear sky to mount my old telescope in our backyard.

"Well," I said after checking the height of the lens, "I guess that's fine, Jimmy, let Lou go first this time, okay?"

"All right," my boy agreed, and she positioned herself.

"Look ..." cried my little girl, "I see a blue star!"

"Really? Let me see!" I was as excited as she was and I looked at the telescope too, really she had spotted a star.

"Okay, Jimmy now," I instructed and Louisa let her brother take her place. "I'm going to change a little so you can see something different."

"Okay," he agreed as I adjusted the telescope's settings.

Jimmy peered through the lens and then backed away a little to tell what he had seen.

"This is a red star, is it Venus, Dad?" My son wanted to be sure, waiting for my confirmation.

"Yeah, you got it right!" I answered after having verified, and I was filled with pride of it "you know of stars as much as the daddy!"

"Daddy!" I heard it clearly, but it was neither Louisa nor Jimmy who had said it, it could only be Emily "Daddy!" she repeated, and pointed at me, and I took her for an instant from Chrissie's lap.

"Did she say Daddy, didn't she?" I couldn't believe it and I had to ask my wife.

"It was Dad that Emily said, she wouldn't call you anything else, because you're our father," Louisa explained, surprised at my reaction.

"That's what Emily said for the first time." Jimmy looked at Lou. "Dad and Mom are happy when we learn new things."

"Oh, okay," Louisa mused.

We stood a little longer there, the children watching the sky, Chrissie watching them and I watching Emily say something else. That little moment had soothed my heart, focusing on being grateful for the good things of the present.


	42. A Chance

It had been a difficult day in the studio, as it had been recently. For the past couple of years, we've been doing our best, and making songs together for the rest of our time. While we were working on "The Miracle," composing, laughing, joking, recording, everything looked perfect, but it was then that Freddie's symptoms became more severe and visible.

We were composing for "Innuendo" now and, even more debilitated, my friend wouldn't let down and his whole determination inspired me to write "The Show Must Go On." The boys were amazed when I showed them the song, but Freddie was the first to say his opinion about it.

"Why those faces? That's the spirit we have to keep" he stood up, staring at us, imposing his will on us "we're still the four here, together, aren't we? So the show has to continue."

After that sermon, we began to record and Chrissie had to ask permission to leave for a bit. I looked desperate at her, afraid of what my wife might be feeling, but she just looked at me like she said "Keep working, I'll be fine, I just need some time alone." I nodded in silence, understanding her.

Our recording was interrupted several times, since Freddie wasn't well, however, he insisted himself to record until the song was ready. When we finally said goodbye to each other to go home, it was clear how much Freddie was weak. That image of my old friend always so full of life now thin and pale, barely able to walk and convalescing, disturbed my mind for a long time.

Before I and Chrissie got into the car, she gave me a sudden hug, seeking all comfort from me, and I soon returned her gesture, searching for the same things in her arms. Then I began to hear my wife's small sobs, muffled by her head resting on my chest, I felt her tears wet my shirt. The state of Freddie and now the state of Chrissie made me cry with my wife.

"I'm so afraid, Brian ..." She looked at me and sniffed, her face was completely red and swollen "he ... He doesn't deserve ..."

"I know you don't, and no one would wish it on him," he said as he thought, shaken, "but most of the time life is not so fair, my love ..."

"The song ..." Chrissie pulled away from me, wiping her eyes. "It's one of the saddest you've ever done, but I don't blame you for it, it's just ... It also made me cry."

I had no arguments against it, she was right, it was how I felt. A part of my life was fine, but another important part of it was falling apart, and it wasn't in my hands the power to change that, I could only put my feelings out with music.

I hugged Chrissie one more time, and only then did we go home. We had to recover from that moment of extreme emotion along the way, we both agreed that we would worry the children too much if they saw us in that state, and we were avoiding talking about Freddie's condition to them. Of course we always said that their uncle was sick when they asked, but we gave no further details.

When we got home, we found Jimmy reading some of his favorite books, sitting on the couch, while the girls played together sitting on the living room rug. Gracey watched them with her ever watchful eyes.

"Good afternoon, Gracey," I greeted as my wife fell silent, just smiling at the nanny.

"Hi, Mr. and Mrs. May" she got up, looking at the kids "well, it's my time to go, bye Jimmy, bye girls."

"Bye Gracey," my son replied, while my daughters waved at her.

"Thank you for everything, Gracey," I heard Chrissie say as I sat down next to Jimmy.

"Hi, Dad, something happened, didn't it?" My boy was very direct.

"Um ..." I felt a little pressed.

"Jim, remember when we commented that sometimes adults go through complicated situations that they prefer that children don't know about it?" Chrissie came to my rescue, that's the case, me and your father, we're just worried about Uncle Freddie."

"Uncle Freddie is still sick, isn't he?" Louisa asked this time.

"Yes, my love, that's what we're thinking about," I said honestly, but trying to ease the situation, "we're sad because he's sick."

"Okay," Louisa replied, in a way that she knew better than to go on with it.

"Lou, Jim, it's still a long time to get dark, don't you want to ride your bikes on the block?" Chrissie suggested, knowing it would distract and cheer up the children.

"Ride?" Emily asked, somewhat uncertainly, in her sweet little voice.

"Yes, sweetheart, let's go out for a little bit," my little one answered, and so my wife knew that I approved of her idea.

Louisa and Jimmy stopped doing what they were doing and went immediately to get their bikes, as I accompanied Chrissie and Emily to the driveway. Then the three of us watched the two of them walk together, laughing and talking, watching in front of them.

Even though she was in her mother's lap, Emily showed interest in getting closer to her siblings, to see what they were doing.

"Do you want to go there with them?" Chrissie guessed what our little girl wanted, Emily nodded to her "just be careful, okay, Emily?"

"All right, Mom," she understood and walked over to her siblings, standing by the sidewalk to look at them more closely, clapping and smiling at every turn they made.

Chrissie approached me, and I wrapped my arms around her, bringing her closer. Watching our kids well and playing with each other was enough to wring out a smile from us.

"Whatever happens, Bri, they'll need us ..." my wife reflected.

"I know, and that's what we are here for" in spite of the sadness, I knew my responsibilities as a father, how much I loved my children and how important it was for me to be ever present in their lives, fulfilling this role with all my heart.

As the year went on, we worked on the album as best we could, taking a break when winter came. In addition to Freddie's conditions, extreme temperatures forced us to stay at home. In the meantime, we received the news that Jim, Freddie and Mary had together decided to try an expensive and complicated experimental treatment, but perhaps it was the only concrete chance that my friend had to recover to the maximum.

We visited Freddie at Garden Lodge, without the kids, as it was very sad to see him so debilitated. As much as he was weak, he still had the strength to ask that he wouldn't stay in the hospital, he just hated it, and I, better than anyone else, understood that. The doctors graciously yielded to his request, mounting a complete set of apparatus and monitors that would keep him stable and assist in the administration of the remedies.

I remember Chrissie sitting next to Freddie's bed in silence, just holding his hand. I put a hand on my wife's shoulder and smiled at my friend.

"Don't cry, Mrs. May ..." he said softly,"I'm sorry for always making you cry."

"You're not to blame this time," I heard Chrissie say, trying to keep her spirits up.

So, because of the intensive treatment and constant snow, we were much more at home, which made the children uncomfortable and somewhat restless.

"Dad, do you know if you have class today?" Jimmy asked as soon as I came to his room to wake him up earlier in the week.

"Not at all, Jim," I said, feeling his dismay. "At least we'll have more time to watch Doctor Who. Do you really miss school?"

"A little, but just learning new things, not bad things," my boy confessed, and I didn't blame him for thinking like that.

We went downstairs, meeting Chrissie, Lou and Emily in the kitchen.

"I really wanted to go out there for a bit," Louisa said aloud as she was thinking. "I know we feel very cold afterwards, but I like the snow so much."

"You meant to play in the snow, didn't you, my love?" Her mother cleared up, her tone amused.

"That too, but the falling snow is a very beautiful thing," completed our eldest daughter.

"It is, falling from the sky very slowly and then leaves the floor white, like a cotton carpet," Emily said dreamily, she was always very creative, capable of creating games and incredible stories that only she could think and imagine.

"Okay, I understand that both of you want to play outside for a bit" I laughed at the coincidence of my two daughters wanting the same thing "to be honest, I wanted to lie on the couch snuggled by a blanket while watching some movie on TV."

"How lazy, Dad!" Louisa let slip, somewhat indignantly.

"Hey, Miss. May, it's cold outside!" I insisted on her.

"If you stay just a little bit warm later, can we go outside?" Emily asked with all persuasion she could, with a cute little voice and sad eyes, looking at me and her mother.

"I don't see why we cannot go, that's okay with me," Chrissie agreed with the children's idea.

"And you, Dad? Aren't you going with us?" Jimmy's tone told me he wanted me to go, but he would understand if I wanted to stay.

"How am I going to say no to my lovies after so much insistence?" I ended up laughing and agreeing, conforming myself to face the cold for the sake of the fun of my children.

The children wore the exaggerated amount of coats their mother recommended, and this time I didn't think it was Chrissie's exaggeration, it was really cold. Finally, she wrapped the Fourth Doctor's scarf around my neck.

"Thank you for coming with us," she said, after adjusting my scarf.

"You're very welcome, love of my life," I said, starting to get a little more excited about the idea.

So, as we left, our three little ones hurried off, happy to finally be free from so much staying at home. With all patience, Jimmy and Louisa taught Emily what to do to create a snowman and after all the structure was ready, our youngest was in charge of doing the rest of the embellishments in it, filling it with seeds, leaves and sticks.

"This is really good." I praised my children's work.

"You know what would be cooler and I don't know how you still haven't thought about it?" Chrissie nudged my arm, making me more aware of her words "a picture of the artists and their work of art."

"It's true," the idea enlightened me, as if it were what I needed to cheer myself up. "I'll be right back."

I ran into the house and had the children pose next to the snowman, capturing the moment. That photo became a reminder of a moment so enlightened that it was able to take sorrow away for a long time.


	43. Discovery

We spent a long time without work, me and my friends, in an uncertain expectation, waiting for the recovery of Freddie. It was another strange period in my life, but this time I didn't feel so lost anymore. We were all four together, supporting each other, and Chrissie was always by my side.

My wife hugged me as I cried in the midst of crises of despair, she respected my pain by remaining silent, only offering me her affection. When I could tell what I was feeling, Chrissie listened to me, she advised me to see hope in the midst of so much uncertainty.

Another thing that helped me was the constant company of my children. By this time, Jimmy had reached adolescence and, thank God, I felt able to help him in his crises. It was another of my fears as the children grew, as if they would took after me and Chrissie, they would surely feel insecure when they reached that age, and I wasn't wrong. But what comforted me was how Jimmy listened to my advice and he was a responsible young man, a trait he never lost.

Louisa was also much older, and despite her strong personality, she also understood well what we were going through. However, Queen's fame left some sequels to my two older children. They grew up surrounded by music, at home, on stage and in studio, until there came a point where they lost interest in following us when their mother and I were involved with something about the band.

It wasn't anger or revolt of my and their uncles' career, it was just the embarrassment of Queen's attention in their lives, and that I understood perfectly. Besides, the time had come for them to find out for themselves what they liked and what they wanted to be.

It was in this context of expectation that Emily was born and raised, without experiencing the tours and recordings as her siblings. On the day we would return to the studio for the first time in four years, our youngest daughter was eight.

When we all got together for breakfast, I soon missed Emily.

"Where's Emily, honey?" I asked Chrissie.

"Oh, she didn't wake up, no matter how much I called," my wife said, knowing full well that our little one was as sleepy as hers.

"Can't we wait a little longer until she wakes up before we go?" As anxious as I was to return to the studio, part of me would like to see if Emily would be willing to meet this side of my life for the first time.

"Don't worry, Dad, I'm not going anywhere, I'll take care of Emily until you get back," Jimmy offered promptly.

"Weren't you going out with Rory later today, Jim?" Louisa remembered.

"No, I won't," Jimmy replied quickly, "but I know Daddy wants to take Emily along, to meet the studio, don't you?"

"Yeah, there's no way I can fool you," I chuckled softly. "It would be nice to see if she might like it or not."

"No pressure, Bri, she's only eight," Chrissie reminded me, a little worried.

"No, no, I know that." I understood her point of view.

"I think Emily will like it very much." Louisa helped me.

"I'll like what?" Emily came running to us, worried we were talking about her.

"Do you know when we were talking about Daddy and their Uncles were recording records?" my middle daughter explained "today they will record again and Dad wanted you to go with him and Mom."

"Really? I can go? I didn't know I could go," reflected my little one.

"Well, now that the band is coming back to work, you can go," Chrissie said, "what do you think? By the way I think you want to go."

"I want to, I want to." Emily even clapped her hands together, which made me happy.

"Then have your breakfast first, and we're off," her mother instructed, and Emily nodded in response.

I hoped that Chrissie would help Emily get ready, combing our daughter's rebellious curls with all the patience of the world, as she used to do when I had a show and barely had time to get ready. I was amazed how much time had passed and how much had changed since then.

"Behave, my darlings," Chrissie said as she said goodbye to our older children.

"As if we were going to do something," Louisa snorted, rather amusedly, "we don't have so many friends for a hidden party, and I still have homework."

"It's because of that kind of phrase your mother always says that," I told her, "take care."

"Have a good day at work," was Jimmy's most appropriate response.

So I, Chrissie and Emily went to the studio, and even after a little bit more grown up, my daughter still loved long drives.

Before taking a step inside our old studio, I gave a long sigh. I fixed the Red Special case on my back, Chrissie offered me her hand, which I accepted, thanking her with a smile. We went in and soon I found John and Roger waiting for us.

"It's already become a tradition, isn't it?" I laughed because it was clear that Freddie was late on purpose.

"Yes, but after all, it's worth waiting a little longer, isn't it?" John smiled relieved.

"Freddie may not have arrived yet, but at least we've got three May here" Roger said hi to my wife and daughter "and all three can sing."

"Was that another hint for me to sing?" Chrissie narrowed her eyes and folded her arms, there had been a long time when Roger and Freddie were trying to convince her to record a song with us "I've already said that the artists here are you, and I'm not even talented as you to sing."

"You're way better than I am," John pointed out.

"John, you're being hard on yourself, and you've been in this band for 25 years," my wife snapped.

"But Mom sings very well." Emily helped Uncle Roger to her mother's despair.

"Calm down, no one here will take my place because I've already arrived." I turned to see Freddie with open arms, a mischievous smile on his lips, his look of happiness and relief.

"Welcome, our favorite late man," I greeted him, and he just laughed in response.

"How are you Emily?" He made sure to talk to my little girl before we started recording.

"I'm fine, Uncle Freddie," my little girl smiled at him and watched us working beside her mother.

We spent a lot of time in the cabin, and every now and then, I smiled at my little girl, until I noticed that Emily moved closer to the glass, watching us and looking at the sound table and all its controls. We paused and I took the opportunity to talk to her.

"So you really enjoyed coming?" I asked Emily.

"I loved it, Dad!" she said sincerely and excitedly "it's nice to know how you record the songs and then we hear on records and tapes, and the cool thing is that you bring all these different things together, and everything becomes a new song!"

"Just like that," I nodded, pleased at her enthusiasm.

"Dad," she called back, and I felt shy, another of her features, "could I ... could I try to make music too?"

"Oh my God ... You ... Do you really want to play somthing?" I got more excited than she did right now, glad she liked music like me.

"If I can't, that's okay," I startled her with my excitement.

"No, no, daughter, Dad was just very happy," I explained to her without losing the excimennt, "what do you want to learn first?"

"Who knows about Uncle John's guitar?" she asked shyly.

"I can teach you, Emily, but it's not a guitar, it's a bass" Deaky was patient with her "they have their difference."

"That's right," said my little girl, ready to learn.

John explained about the low sound, the thickness of the strings, the different way of playing as if pulling the strings up. My Emily then tried to play, grimacing with concentration and effort, and after a while, she got tired.

"Sorry," my daughter murmured to John, and he understood her.

As she pointed to the drums, Roger was quick to sit her on his lap, holding her hands while Emily held the sticks. After touching a little, she found herself confused. After she tried the piano, Emily and Freddie shared the seat. He showed some notes to her and my little girl tried to imitate him, she smiled as she hit every note. She left the piano with a satisfied smile, as if considering learning to play the piano later.

It was then that she came up to me, glancing at my guitar, which made her shy, but I lowered myself to her height so that she was sure that it was all.

"I thought you were never going to ask." I smiled at her, taking my guitar out of the way.

Emily sat in front of me, holding the Red Special with all care and reverence, like the relic she was, which my children knew very well.

I placed the fingers of her left hand in a G chord, showing what to do with her right hand. As soon as she played the chord, I had to wipe away the tears that were already falling.

"Did I play it wrong or ugly?" My little girl was confused.

"No, it's so lovely to see you play." I caressed Emily's face, completely proud of her.

"Now we know who to call if we need another guitarist," Freddie said, which made my daughter laugh, and then John and Roger, Chrissie just smiled in sympathy with me and I rolled my eyes.

"For God's sake, I hope you don't have to replace me again," I said in my defense. "I think not having me in the band twice is long enough!"

"We agreed on that, Bri," Freddie assured me with a wink.

This time I laughed, completely relieved that we were back to work together, playing like the old friends we always were and knowing that my Emily loved music as much as I did.


	44. Permanence

I woke up early as I always did, but this time the reason wasn't to compose a new song or just enjoy the silence of the house. I had a private assignment given to me by myself, something done for a special reason.

I sighed as I entered Chrissie's office, we shared that space as we needed, but I liked to call it Chrissie's office, since she worked there much more than I did. I turned on the computer, and although the technology had advanced a lot, I still had to wait for the machine to complete its processes until I could use it.

Meanwhile, my eyes went to the picture frames on the desk, and surprisingly, most of the photos hadn't been taken by me. I think over time, I influenced my Chrissie to take pictures all of a sudden, just like I did.

There my wife had put a photo of us together when we were younger, in the first year of our marriage, Jimmy, Louisa and Emily still a baby, the graduations of our three children in college, and three similar photos, taken between decades of difference.

It was Freddie, Roger, me and John talking on the couch in the living room of the same house we lived in until this day, this was taken as soon as we had been hired by EMI. There was other, Jimmy was on my lap while I was talking to Freddie, Roger and John were laughing at something, and the third photo was from the beginning of the year, Freddie, Roger, me and John, the four of us with the signs that many years had passed for us.

Our hope guided us to see Freddie recovered. My friend had won the worst part of his life, at least that's how I considered it, following all that painful trajectory, but that was far behind and calmer years came for us.

As much as we continued to work hard, we worked much less than at the beginning of our career, I think mainly because we weren't that young anymore. I, John, and Roger were already grandfathers, and the fact that our children were adults now, what also added a little to our peace of mind.

All my kids had left home now, Jimmy and Rory had been married, Louisa had moved into the apartment and Emily had been married for two months.

Taking advantage of this, remembering that we usually had to leave the children with Gracey when I and Chrissie went to the movies, I was planning to buy the tickets and take her by surprise, not mentioning what we were going to watch, I wanted her to guess and still be surprised.

"Bri? Is everything okay?" I heard my wife say and for a moment I felt nervous, I would have to disguise it so that she didn't discover my plans.

"Yeah it is, good morning my love" I got up and kissed her "sorry to invade your space, are you going to work now?"

"No, not yet," she told me, "I think I'm off for the time being, but ... There's an issue I needed to talk to you about."

"Well, what is it?" I prepared myself for what she would tell me.

"The premiere of "The Hobbit" is two weeks from now, but the preview is today" Chrissie spoke with a certain tension in her voice and I was worried for two reasons.

She was as thrilled as I was to watch the adaptation of one of our favorite books, so I was surprised that she wasn't excited about the movie. Second, my plan was just to get her to the premiere of "The Hobbit."

"So?" I was more apprehensive now, thinking of leaving my plans aside.

"Well, I just wanted to tell you that ..." Chrissie paused because she was afraid of how I would react, she always paused when she felt that way "no matter how excited and anxious I am to see, I imagine you wanted to watch it in the preview ..."

"I really wanted to, but Chrissie, you can tell me what you have to say about the movie's debut" I was already anxious to know what she wanted to say, but I was patient.

"If we go in the preview, we're going to have to go with a lot of other celebrities and you know I hate that kind of attention, however much I'm used to, but this is a case we can avoid " she sighed. breathless "then, if possible, can we go on the normal premiere like everyone else?"

"Of course, of course we can, I'm not angry that you don't want to go on the premiere, right?" I approached her, touching her arms carefully, showing that there was no problem.

I smiled for two reasons. I understood her argument that she didn't want to get attention, which sometimes tired me too, and I could go on with my surprise plans to take her to the movies.

Luckily, we had a busy day with work related to Queen, which made her not mention the movie, thinking we wouldn't have time to watch that day. For a brief moment I managed to get away from the meetings of the day, just to make an emergency call to Isaac.

"Grandpa? Are you okay?" Isaac asked at once.

"Oh yeah, I'm sorry I scared you to call you right now, but I just needed a favor," I told him.

"Has anything bad happened? You want me to do something hidden from my parents? " Isaac was worried and suspicious "you wouldn't have me do something like that."

"No, it's nothing like that," I laughed in his suspicious manner, much like his grandmother, "your grandmother really cann't know, I want you to buy tickets for "The Hobbit", I'm taking her tonight to watch it, but it's a surprise."

"Ah!" my grandson exclaimed and I could say that he was relieved "that's cool, I'll buy the tickets yes, and then you come home to get it or you want me to take you to your house?

"No, keep it to me, when we step outside your house and you just give me the tickets, okay?" I combined the plan with him.

"All right, you can count on me, Grandma deserves such a surprise." Isaac was excited.

"She deserves it so much, doesn't she, Zac?" I smiled at our grandson's comment "right, I have to go now, thank you, bye."

"Bye, bye." My grandson said good-bye and then I hurried back to the studio.

"Where did you go?" Chrissie asked as she saw me, more relaxed than demanding.

"I was talking to Isaac," I shrugged, thinking it best to answer the truth but without the details she couldn't know.

"Oh okay," my wife was satisfied and I went back to my business.

We went home normally and it took me a little while to get Chrissie to leave, feeling whether she would accept it or not.

"My love," I called her, apprehensively, despite so many married years filled with dates, "would you agree to go out with me now?"

"Wow, Brian, this is ..." She was surprised, but then she narrowed her eyebrows, scaring me a little "sudden, but it seems like ... you waited all day to ask me, didn't you?"

"Yes, my sweet lady, there is nothing I can hide from you." I shrugged, giving a smile of surrender.

"Well, I'll go." She smiled back, which made me more content and anxious.

Soon we were on the way to the movies, without Chrissie knowing we were going there, and so far she hadn't asked, but I saw her doubt arise when she saw me stop at Jimmy and Rory's house.

"You didn't tell me we were going to visit Jimmy first," my wife said, already getting ready to get out of the car.

"No, this is not our last stop," I laughed nervously, as Chrissie must have been wondering why would I stop her from entering our son's house. "I'm just going to get something with Isaac and we're going, don't come down or we'll be late."

"Okay." She was content to sit back on the bench, but she was suspicious.

I gave her a sheepish smile and went to the door, hoping it was Isaac who would answer. Fortunately, it was my grandson who opened the door.

"Hi, Grandpa, I've been waiting for you," he gave me a smile. "It's here, I hope you have a good time, and don't forget to tell Grandma that I helped you with the tickets."

"Yes, Zac, thanks again, bye" I went as fast as I could, before Chrissie got impatient.

So we go back on our way. I saw my wife smile when she realized we were standing in front of a small movie theater on a corner of Regent's Park, very discreet and remote.

"Brian, did you bring me to watch "The Hobbit?" she said, laughing.

"Well, it was supposed to be a surprise, but you guessed it too fast," I chuckled. "I wanted it to be a special night, you know I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you."

"Really?" Chrissie replied, rather amusedly, "that's because I introduced you to Tolkien?"

"Yeah, that's right, I remember looking for "The Hobbit" like a mad man just to have something to talk to you" I was moved by the memory, touching my wife's face "and because I found the story interesting."

"Oh, I know." She looked at me with half-closed eyes, a smirk in her lips. "I remember that well."

To mention that old memory, I also remembered how long it had been since I had met her at the Smile show at Maria Assumpta, and we had been through so many things since then, but Chrissie had remained in my life, my precious treasure. I kissed her without warning, but as she corresponded me, Chrissie was already waiting for that.

"Brian ..." my wife called softly, when we parted "we're going to miss the session..."

"Of course, sorry." I looked at her, embarrassed, her cheeks flushed, as mine should be.

I made sure to open the car door for her and together, we waited in line, as we did on several other times we went to the movies. No one had recognized me, which was great. We entered the room, took our place and waited for the movie to begin. As much as we knew the story, which was one of our favorites, the photography of the scenes was mesmerizing, Martin Freeman's Bilbo was charming and friendly, Ian McKellen as Gandalf made me smile every time he appeared, not to mention every member of the company of Thorin Oakenshield, whether in the funny moments or in the most tense moments.

We hadn't cried when the session was over, but it was clear that we were very excited.

"I understand the ending wasn't quite final," Chrissie commented on the way to the parking lot, "although it is a short story, there is more to be addressed."

"I liked the open end," I said, "that means next year they're going to launch the sequel."

"And of course we'll come and see it," Chrissie said, already excited about the upcoming film.

I certainly nodded to her and we walked hand in hand all the way.

"Thank you for the evening, it was really great," my wife thanked.

"The pleasure was all mine, my girl of my dreams," I replied, feeling my heart beat stronger just to admire my Chrissie's face.

After such a long time, I still marveled at having achieved one of my impossible dreams, there she was in front of me, on my side, and forever with me. I had found the girl of my dreams,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is the end of this story, but I have lots of stories planned for this universe. Thank you to Wiggles91 and KosemSasuSaku for your suggestions and support. There is a playlist for this story on Spotify that you can find with the name of A Garota dos Sonhos/The Girl of my Dreams playlist by a.w.blackstorn. Thank you and till next time!


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